The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.3.11

August 3rd, 2011 // 566 Comments

I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.

Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.

Drop and give me 20,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Brooke Shields
    A. Powers
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a” MAN ” baby

  2. Scott Disick
    seals
    Commented on this photo:

    The douchiness just emanates

  3. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    A. Powers
    Commented on this photo:

    pull your pants up

  4. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her work on Phineas and Ferb.

  5. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    BRAINSSSS!!!

  6. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The blubber vampire is ready to strike.

  7. Brooke Shields
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, she’s even wearing a mens watch.

  8. Emmy Rossum Sports Bra
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks very fit, and not in the bone and sinew, Kelly Ripa way.

  9. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    Dr Ha-Ha
    Commented on this photo:

    The country that gives us this, gave us Nazism. Go figure.

  10. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    At least Al Pacino has finally changed his bandana.

  11. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I am quite optimistic…this picture was taken during shark week. Can we hope?

  12. Orlando Bloom
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Havin’ sex with a soooo-per model! Havin’ sex with a soooo-per model…”

  13. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Those shorts are insufficiently revealing.

  14. Hank Azaria
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Arnold’s son got caught cheating on his diet again.

  15. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    If this isn’t a violation of his parole, I don’t know what is.

  16. Jennifer Lopez
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard making your feet sweat is an easy way to lose weight.

  17. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    TGNY
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco ass is the best!!

  18. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No underwear as usual.

    I kind of don’t care though…I mean seriously does anyone not think she’d be a dirty, uninhibited lay?

  19. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    TGNY
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is too small. She should stick to the frontal photo op

  20. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, I think that’s called ‘playing’. Usually reserver for the under 10s, but it IS Zac Effron.

  21. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Commented on this photo:

    I expected that Pete Postlethwaite would look better in a shiny housecoat.

  22. Demi Lovato
    Rough's thule
    Commented on this photo:

    I think shes a pretty girl. Its a shame, the studios would consider putting her in a starring role to the sequel of “Angel with dirty faces”. Its a normal weight outside of Hollywood.

  23. Demi Lovato
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look! An antique chair!

  24. Nicole Richie Yoga Pants Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Her black fingernails give her secret goth identity away.

  25. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    UnholyKrep
    Commented on this photo:

    Doubtless alarms and sirens are going off all over Tokyo right now….

  26. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Gandalf looted the elf’s till and bought a nice silk gown.

  27. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is the fat chick in the tiara?

  28. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    UnholyKrep
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this before or after they dropped the bucket of blood on her at the prom?

  29. Scott Disick
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit he has teeth. This is the first pic I have seen where he doesn’t have that stupid smirk.

  30. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Ginger must be pissed that chick stole her dress.

  31. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    UnholyKrep
    Commented on this photo:

    The absence of Hasselhof in this picture means it is obviously cut rate German art. Scheisse.

  32. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    Commented on this photo:

    Just in time for shark week.

  33. Miranda Kerr Silk Robe
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tool set.

  34. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish I had abs like that. Perhaps if I started working out I would have half a chance. :/

  35. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Inspired by Britney

  36. Demi Lovato
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    I cannot wait until the pointy-fingernails fad is OVER.

  37. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    When I read “Labaredas ” I think “Labia.”

  38. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    Rough's thule
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those two going to ruin the “Princess and the Pauper” with their acting?

  39. Jennifer Lopez
    sasha
    Commented on this photo:

    Boots? in Atlanta, in the middle of July?

  40. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what’s at the bottom of the barrrel…

  41. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    So glad to see Kelly has gotten over the death of her best friend Amy.

  42. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she’s trying to tell Coco’s fortune, the way Sylvester Stallone’s mom does.

  43. Brooke Shields
    Noel
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to spread some of that Latisse on her dome.

  44. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Captain Quinn’s fortunes have declined over the years, apparently.

  45. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The new James Bond girl, Ms. Lousyhead.

  46. Lil Wayne
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparenty he’s participating in the worlds biggest Connect 4 tournament.

  47. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Harald Gloeoeckler’s store and showroom’

    What the fuck does he sell?!

  48. Ricky Gervais
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t care if I’m carrying my iphone like a chick, in England we all do it!”

    Also, for some reason when fat comedians get skinny, they’re not funny any more…sorry, but it’s true.

  49. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That chick in the red dress is REALLY enjoying whatever it is she’s smelling.

  50. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is teaching hot chicks that “twisted spine” is synonymous with “sexy”? Scoliosis does not make me horny. Eczema now…that shit is HOT.

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