The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.3.11

August 3rd, 2011 // 566 Comments

I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.

Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.

Drop and give me 20,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    Commented on this photo:

    This one is titled The Calm Before The Storm, as it is snapped the moment before that bucket of piss hits them.

  2. Orlando Bloom
    Commented on this photo:

    I realize that you have never ACTUALLY had sex Orlando, but the fact that you have to be told that it goes on the other head is just sad.

  3. Leelee Sobieski
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that Meryl Streep is an incredible method actress!

  4. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t Paris around 50 years old now?

  5. Ricky Gervais
    Commented on this photo:

    Ricky Gervais laughs at his own distasteful and incredibly insensitive joke about getting a double-header from the Siamese Twins (sorry, conjoined twins) behind him.

  6. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure where in NYC she is, but did she just squeeze through a picket fence to get there?

  7. Brooke Shields
    deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    Aged Pop Singer, Rick Springfield, spotted in drag in NYC earlier this Week. Details after the jump…

  8. Miranda Kerr Silk Robe
    deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    Backstage at The Bunny Ranch….

  9. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    All the Salt in the Dead Sea couldn’t keep this heiffer afloat…

  10. Brooke Shields
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    Its okay honey, mommy’s just feelin a little nuts is all!

  11. deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    Singer Michael Bolton finally opts for hair plugs…

  12. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Love launching her much-anticipated, boozy Comeback Tour…

  13. Miranda Kerr Silk Robe
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    without the 5 lbs of makeup and post baby tits, she looks like a retarted whore

  14. Brooke Shields
    juaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    I seriously thought this was Bradley Cooper with a wig from the thumbnail.

  15. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    deeznutz
    Commented on this photo:

    …With a face that only a paper bag could love…

  16. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    dcma
    Commented on this photo:

    Just admit that she looks great, people. Those abs and legs are tight!

  17. Jennifer Lopez
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll be expecting that this movie will suck ass just like the rest

  18. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    was Gymboree closed?

  19. Demi Lovato
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    and here’s Demi trying way too hard to be “different”

  20. Nicole Richie Yoga Pants Cleavage
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    who gives a shit about this no talent skeleton?

  21. Scott Disick
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, all i want to do is punch this dude in the fuckin face.

  22. Lil Wayne
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    this asshole looks like the walking definition of herpes

  23. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    juaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    Could benefit from makeup.

  24. Leelee Sobieski
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    nice tits, but she has herself the butterface

  25. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    nuttebutter
    Commented on this photo:

    Nick Cannon needs to tie more rocks to her ankles….

  26. Emmy Rossum Sports Bra
    WYK
    Commented on this photo:

    who is she ?

    • Scotty

      I’ll second that. Really, who the hell is this girl amongst the thousands of irrelevant pseudo celebs?

  27. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Ozzy: bites the head off a big-ass chicken.
    Kelly: bites the big ass of a chickenhead.

    l

  28. Hank Azaria
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of disappointment on the face of just-over-the-should girl upon learning that Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is actually a white guy is priceless. But it’s on sale at Kwik-E-Mart, 3 for $1.99.

  29. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s called a pole smoking jacket. Do you like it?”

  30. Lil Wayne
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Raspberry Beret is just a cute way of saying Prolapsed Anus which is just a technical way of saying Failed Asshole which is just an accurate way of saying Lil Wayne. What kind of douche wears a shirt with his name on it?

  31. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Must resist eating all this fat. Am on diet”.

  32. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Mr. Burns with hair.

  33. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know they were making a movie out of Little Mermaid.

  34. Commented on this photo:

    Damn, Granma broke into Granpa’s wardrobe again.

  35. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Another one bites the dust.

  36. Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    JLo has gone all Method for her role as Crazy Bag Lady.

  37. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    Commented on this photo:

    So Egyptians were part Gremlin then? They don’t teach you that in history class.

  38. Scott Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    Serial killers always look so creepy when they smile.

  39. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    she is so damn hot, love the dress!

  40. Jimmy Fallon
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he is cute)

  41. Brooke Shields
    tayker
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know color existed when Sid Caesar was young.

  42. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    tayker
    Commented on this photo:

    For a second there I thought David Lee Roth was wearing a dress.

  43. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told the plumber I wanted a BIG hottub! What the fuck is this?”

  44. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bent over a table … whatever you want, cutie. UHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

  45. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody bumped into the windchimes again.

  46. Scott Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, those eyes are so close, when he blinks his eyelashes must get tangled up.

  47. Jimmy Fallon
    Commented on this photo:

    Briefcase AND a purse. Jimmy be going bi.

  48. Melanie Griffith
    Commented on this photo:

    i didn’t know they made Spanx out of Kevlar

  49. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    Commented on this photo:

    See? Jews can’t sink.

  50. Demi Lovato
    seals
    Commented on this photo:

    Who cares about this chick? Seriously

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