The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.3.11

August 3rd, 2011 // 566 Comments

I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.

Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.

Drop and give me 20,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    If you really want to know if it’s done, or not, stick a fork in it.

  2. Leelee Sobieski
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever see a porn clip that was hot enough to make you track down the entire video and while watching it you realize they had condensed the only good parts into the short clip, giving you that feeling of disappointment.

    That’s the same feeling I had after scrolling down.

  3. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    this is one wierd ass soft serve ice cream machine

  4. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Ga-aaa-ck!!!

  5. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    The two bitches in the background tried to make him straight and you see what happened to them. Go back to Flav.

  6. Brooke Shields
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Stephen Tyler needs to quit taking estrogen.

  7. Emmy Rossum Sports Bra
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Melissa Joan Hart not in this movie……..oh…

  8. Miranda Kerr Silk Robe
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Hibachi grill in the dressing room……ooooh, yeah!

  9. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    What a diva…she kicked out the rest of the geriatrics doing their aquarobics

  10. Orlando Bloom
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the hell’s one of the few people I actually want to see out in the open, got a dumbass toboggan covering his flapping face?

  11. Hank Azaria
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy in the yankees shirt is going to get beat to near death by the guy in the LA cap.

  12. Ricky Gervais
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this man! He’s fucking hilarious!

  13. Jennifer Lopez
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at me! I have a baby stroller!

  14. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re gonna need a bigger ocean.

  15. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    It must have been a rough launch. She’s looking worn out.

  16. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy in background: Set phaser to kill…KILL…damn, these cheap knock-off phasers!

  17. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t let me fall! Please don’t let me fall! Please don’t let me fall!

  18. Demi Lovato
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I cut myself with this?

  19. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    The Right Whale’s tail rose majestically out of the water and paused at it’s apex, flukes spread wide, before slapping back down on the surface.

  20. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy happy joy joy! I got the part on the new ‘Jersey Shore’!

  21. Nicole Richie Yoga Pants Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the background is shooting footage for his new zombie movie.

  22. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Evander finally found an oppenant older than him.

  23. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    I can only focus on one thing in this picture, and it’s not a tablet.

  24. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Sandra Bernhardt?

  25. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, Ian wondered onto the set again. Someone get him off….and where is Abe Vigoda?

  26. Leelee Sobieski
    Commented on this photo:

    The features just aren’t the same without a little bit of the Dinklage sparkle.

  27. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    In the year 2525….

  28. Melanie Griffith
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Milk Money 2?

  29. Orlando Bloom
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    But…where’s his sword?

  30. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong Paz! Please replace with the one from a couple of days ago!

  31. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, great, now we know who to sue!” – Japan

  32. MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    MY EYES! MY EYES!

  33. Lil Wayne
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    even his hat has tattoos

  34. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I AM the kind of girl who’ll show up at the opening of a new Chik-Fil-et

  35. Demi Lovato
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me? Will this chain support my full body weight?

  36. Leelee Sobieski
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Career on downslide…must show nipples…career back on track….oh, yeah!

  37. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Rough's thule
    Commented on this photo:

    How much for this very rare photograph of the gay Hef presiding over the annual stock holders meeting?

  38. Ricky Gervais
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do Americans keep pelting stuff at me when I ask them if they have a fag?

  39. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s where they keep Jerry Lewis!

  40. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    oh sure …see gets to touch it…if i did Ice T would bust a cap in me

  41. Brooke Shields
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    from the thumbnail, I thought it was a dude…ooops.

  42. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    pdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo Taylor, Ima’ let you finish, but Robert Plant had the best awkward stumble in a platinum perm of all time. OF ALL TIME.

  43. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    pdan
    Commented on this photo:

    You sure that’s Hawaii, and not his bathtub? Dude is tiny, is all I’m saying.

  44. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Two skanks for the price of one.

  45. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    Fabby
    Commented on this photo:

    Love her abss!

  46. Leelee Sobieski
    frcrkr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot babe. I am ready for some more movies with her in them. Ya hear that CSA? What the fuck am I talking about – this is thesuperficial.

  47. Orlando Bloom
    Commented on this photo:

    Pull it lower, man! Ya can’t wander into heavy traffic if ya can still see where you’re going.

  48. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    When she fell off the ship the cruise passengers wondered “Which is more buoyant, her boobs or her ass”. And then they got their answer.

  49. Hank Azaria
    MisterSuccint
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?

  50. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Possibly Daniel Tosh on his off time?

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