The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.3.11

August 3rd, 2011 // 566 Comments

I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.

Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.

Drop and give me 20,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Commented on this photo:

    it looks like Ian wants to be the gay version of Hef.

  2. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure that dodging harpoons counts as a workout.

  3. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    A little Sandra Bernhard-ish in this shot.

  4. Hank Azaria
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you for coming, I’ll see you in hell!

  5. Hank Azaria
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I hated this guy when he hosted America’s Funniest Home Videos.

  6. Scott Disick
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t spell Scott is Dick without Scott Disick.

  7. Brooke Shields
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing comes between me and my Calvinist depravity

  8. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Rough's thule
    Commented on this photo:

    I dub thee coquettish to my thule.

  9. Scott Disick
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    True sign of a dick: even when dressed down in a t-shirt and jeans, he still has his hair crazy glued into the same douchey ‘do.

  10. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    bout time she flashed it again

  11. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Robert Pattinson looks like shit without makeup.

  12. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe it’s like rubbing the stump at The Apollo.

  13. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I was thinking more along the lines of “My-my-my-buttaface, my-my-buttaface”.

  14. Orlando Bloom
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    Pictured right before Mario landed on his head

  15. Brooke Shields
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez! She might wanna get that aneurism looked at.

  16. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yeah! Well millions of tone deaf people buy my music bub!

  17. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    shweeet

  18. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Pirate Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Hef’s “black sheep” younger brother at home in the Hustler Doublewide…

  19. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Spaz de la Huerta.

  20. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew Pink wrote “Whataya Want From Me,” but I didn’t know they were collaborating on it.

  21. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope everyone else is staying on the beach. The water just got chummed.

  22. PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    For a second there I thought Dog Chapman got a new hairdo.

  23. Melanie Griffith
    Nasty McSteak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh! There goes my last minutes of fame…sigh, SLURP SLURP”

  24. Brooke Shields
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    That Wicked Witch of the East part is hers for sure!

  25. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    That was right before she was doused with a bucket of blood.

  26. Jennifer Lopez
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    That would have to be a scene from a movie cuz that bitch hasn’t touched luggage in ten yrs.

  27. Brooke Shields
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    i thought that was jude law with a new hairline.
    o.O

  28. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    The microphone is not an effective zombie fighting tool.

  29. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    planking??
    wtf is planking??

  30. Demi Lovato
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    She hasn’t got nearly enough jewelry on.

  31. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’s not too far from “planking”. He’ll be sadly missed.

  32. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    courtneys still trying to sex up the audience.

  33. Emmy Rossum Sports Bra
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s as excited to run as people are excited to comment about her.

  34. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    my precious….ASS!

  35. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    I kinda always figured the real Cleopatra was a white chick with blonde hair. Much like a blonde,blue eyed Jesus.

  36. Nicole Richie Yoga Pants Cleavage
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    who?

  37. Zac Efron Playground Workout
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    -Children’s playground
    -Large hat
    -Aviators
    -Straps

    Nothing creepy going on here.

  38. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
    GET THE SACRIFICE ON!

  39. Commented on this photo:

    Jesus. Even Phil Spector never looked that bad.

  40. fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    So THIS is why he’s always wearing that stupid headband. Fair enough Mr. Pacino, fair enough.

  41. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    holymoly
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah, when whales do it, it’s called “beaching”.

  42. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Annalynne? Like sheep’s wool?

  43. Lil Wayne
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    This dude grosses me out big time.

  44. Brooke Shields
    last
    Commented on this photo:

    Gavin sure aged a lot faster than Gwen.

  45. Melanie Griffith
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a celebratory Kahlua for landing the lead in Jeepers Creepers 3.

  46. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    Can she just change her name to Paz Huertz Ur Hed already? Seeing Mick Jagger’s face circa 1972 on top of that body… just… WTF?

  47. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Shark Week might have given Ben some ideas.

  48. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    This must have been taken a millisecond before Paris busted her ass.

  49. Lil Wayne
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    His teeth are so disgusting. You know there’s shit stuck in there from way back. Gag!

  50. Paula Labaredas Cleavage Tight Dress
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    2 photo pages without comments means you’re not famous enough yet. Get on with ‘leaking’ a sex tape already.

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