I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.
Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.
Drop and give me 20,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Let me guess, she shakes her tits on TV and is on some Spanish news station?
She’s Portuguese not Spanish, so I guess not.
“That’s right, Gl-o-e-o-e-ckler. Fuck you onomatopoeia.”
Can we just start calling her Harry Carey…. Makes so much more sense in conversation.
You’re no Mickey Rourke.
Wait…..this gets to bang Miranda Kerr at will? I’m going to kill myself now!
Funny, that’s the same thought I had.
All I can think of is Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie before he hits the makeup truck.
I’ll take Tattoos for Five Hundred Alex.
What semi-famous shit bag has $100,000 in tattoos with not a single one being anything discernible.
black dudes should not get tattoos that look like skin disease.
Pictured left to right: a big ass, a bigger ass.
This Kama Sutra crap is waaaaay harder to do than I thought it would be.
The sea was angry that day, my friends.
Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli
I keep getting the feeling that we’re close to the day when Nicky Hilton is going to start wearing a “I’m NOT with stupid” T-shirt.
Nice one!
Push him off. Push him off!
I got 2 on this one:
1. Holy crap she has a bag for each butt cheek????
2. “Jijijijijiji I can’t believe he fit in this carry on… That’ll teach him to call me Tee-la!!”
Sam Neill with long hair.
“Yeah keep laughing assholes… I may look like a douche but see pic #4 to see what I come home to every night”
Ass Shot, love it! Keep it up.
Her simple but brilliant disguise earned her the name ‘the Lampshade Burglar’
Sorry sweetie, but if I Google your name and a Wikipedia article doesn’t come up on the first page of results, you’re not famous
we know Ally Michalka ruined your show now smile.
Oh please Aly was way better then Ashley >.>
There’s only one way to settle this……OIL WRESTLING!
Virgin olive oil is out of the question.
Looks like Criss Angel’s happy about his latest magic trick/
Oh shit a beached whale, anyone wanna push her back in?! lol
Oh great..now they’ve gone and made “Creature from the Black Lagoon Meets Rosemary’s baby” starring Courtney Love…..
Ok, they’re making an effort, but it’s still not right what they do to Veal
Umm, Maria…….your water broke.
Remember when she was hot ?
Me neither.
Is that an Okapi or a Giraffe? I think it’s an Okapi. No, it’s a Giraffe.
“This boot-face is made for walking, and that’s just what it’ll do….One of these days this boot-face is gonna walk all over you.”
Looks like Ben was momentarily possessed by Casey Anthony.
Nah, there’s no opportunity for a bloody corpse in the trunk. This is more of an Andrea Yates move.
“yes,I am holding the last condom used on me.”
Fish dude, The word you are looking for is “beached whale”…. That is the proper military term for this.
Well, now we know what the latest “Hooters Bobble-Head” looks like!
She’s always looked like a man. Now she just looks like an old man.
What are you talking about? she used to be gorgeous.
Yeah a hot man!!
You wanna kiss me or heh heh ‘kiss the gun’?
Kelly Osbourne is the ugliest cow int he world. And is still fat!
Hmmm. Fringe famous. Smoking hot.
Compared to her that’s a whole ocean of smart water.
Can’t you see Kelly is grieving? She just lost her “best friend”.
This will help the healing process, and Coco doesn’t seem to mind.
I recommend bangs….BIG bangs.
FUUUNNNYYYYY!!!!!
She’s rubbing it in….so you guys out there can rub one out.
guilty
Please, don’t come any closer, and thank you photographer for not zooming in.
Weird. If you stare at Kelly’s head long enough you can see a beautiful young woman.
The DC area is under assault. First Brit Brit a few days ago and now this.
Large and in charge.
so far so great..
“Any americans here want to redo my interview so it’s funny?”
She’s thinking “Cocaine is so much easier than running a gauntlet of paparazzi to go sweat up a storm on stupid exercise equipment”.
Gandalf has started to branch out into brighter colors.
Gandalf the Gay.
Very cute…now show us more pain & depravity.
I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust.
I viewed this full sized….but it still didn’t help my understanding of the content at all.
I viewed this full sized too…and it just looked like a 4X sized Jamie Lee Curtis.
They’re Germans aren’t they? And in Berlin. That’s pretty far away….what a relief.
Goin’ home alone, where she will let the Labrador hit her on the Labaredas