The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.3.11

August 3rd, 2011 // 566 Comments

I have no idea know how, but this photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.

Welcome to the mid-week/Hump Day/teachers can’t wait for the weekend, too, because they’re giant fucking slackers, spoon-feeding our children Communism and gay marriage’s The Crap We Missed brought to you at a reasonable hour because it’s a pretty desolate celebrity landscape out there as you’ll learn by the last five photos of this post. (Do I know how to sell, or do I know how to sell?) On that note, your assignment is to tell me the word I’m trying to think of when I look at this pic of Mariah Carey doing her “ocean workout.” Whatever the technical term for battleships approaching a shore is. Beaching? Berthing? Vinnie Sandbarino-ing? I suck at military lingo.

Drop and give me 20,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. PtC

    “I have no idea know how, but this is photo is way more awesome than it has a right to be.”

    lolwut

    • No Kidding

      It means he’s gay but is strangely aroused, probably because Coco and Kelly look transsexual with their matching square heads.

  2. Ashley Tisdale Sports Bra
    Ash
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to chill.

  3. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they threw her out there out of a cage

  4. Leelee Sobieski
    Clint Eastwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Brrrrr it’s cold out!

  5. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “She’s lovely” – Amy Winehouse’s Dad

  6. Lil Wayne
    Good Morning.
    Commented on this photo:

    America.

  7. Piglet

    “On that note, you’re assignment is to tell me”…

    It’s “your”. You cockend.

  8. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    lemon
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Taylor Swift and Ke$ha like Hannah Montana?

  9. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    The Crap We Missed… my favorite Paz dispenser.

  10. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    PANTIES!

  11. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    lemon
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who she is, but she scares me.

  12. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Over it.

  13. Brooke Shields
    Nasty McSteak
    Commented on this photo:

    Eww…

  14. Brooke Shields
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she imitating David Carradine’s last facial expression?

  15. Lil Wayne
    Commented on this photo:

    I think there’s a square inch on his face without a tattoo. Slacker.

  16. Orlando Bloom
    Commented on this photo:

    Penis hat

  17. Leelee Sobieski
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck, when did she become hot?

  18. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “And wha-la! Yeast Infection!”

  19. Paris Hilton Nicky Hilton
    lemon
    Commented on this photo:

    Now from the “Famous For Nothing” Day and Night Collection…

  20. Paz De La Huerta Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She is fast reaching the Melanie Griffith stage.

  21. Kelly Osbourne Coco Ass Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    No, I’m not playing with your ass, I’m doing a Vulcan mind meld.

  22. Jennifer Lopez
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Aren’t objects supposed to get smaller with distance?

  23. Miranda Kerr Silk Robe
    Booboo
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, yeah we know you’re pretty

  24. Melanie Griffith
    Commented on this photo:

    Speak of El Diablo…

  25. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Prostate.

  26. Ian McKellen The Syndicate
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This caption should read “DJ last Sunday morning”

  27. Demi Lovato
    Dinkle
    Commented on this photo:

    I know that look! That’s the classic Lohan fake. “Is anybody looking, before I slip this around my neck and walk out.”

  28. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    OK maybe Tom Cruise was partially right. Some of these pills may make me a little tightly wound.

  29. Leelee Sobieski
    Commented on this photo:

    Only now do I realize how much I have missed her… She has wicked “dude” voice tho…

  30. Leelee Sobieski
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    No idea who she is but I can see she has a couple good points.

  31. Jimmy Fallon
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like some sweaty short order cook that you’d see in NYC smoking a cigarette in the alley.

  32. Lil Wayne
    Loulou
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo! My dick is so long that if I insert it in my “a” hole, it will come all the way out of my mouth. Yup! THAT long!

  33. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the face that relaunched a thousand dinners?

  34. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting old sucks… Time to rent Blue Lagoon….

  35. Demi Lovato
    Soup
    Commented on this photo:

    “My fingernails allow me to save time by combining my cutting and bulimia into a single act of throat violence.”

  36. Scott Disick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (I’m trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear.)

  37. Taylor Swift Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye if you come up here this time I’m gonna kick the crap out of your black ass all over this stage.

  38. Brooke Shields
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn good to see Mick! Didn’t know the Stones were in town!

  39. Hank Azaria
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Hank Erchief would be more interesting.

  40. Ben Stiller Paddle Boarding
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not how you Quinle

  41. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew, now I’m suffering from Post-Picture depression.

  42. Brigitte Nielsen Harald Gloeoeckler
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This is an artistic physical expression of Adam lambert fighting off full-flown AIDS.

  43. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    Soup
    Commented on this photo:

    A nice asp shot would do wonders for this girl.

  44. Mariah Carey Swimsuit Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t it more of a workout for the people who kind-heartedly pushed her back into the ocean?

  45. Leelee Sobieski
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Actual poem she wrote/read on live TV. -

    One day.
    One.
    More than another.
    The other,
    that day,
    those people,
    too many,
    too personal,
    but not.
    People you know know,
    but you yourself know not.
    Crashing down,
    all frown,
    hurting,
    walking,
    silently screaming,
    slowly running,
    often feeling nothing.
    Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
    seeing those trapped inside.
    Cry.
    Cry.
    It’s OK.
    It’s not OK.
    Smile if it’s natural
    Feel alive.
    The president speaks,
    The situation reeks an act of war.
    I enter my room, close the door
    Sit here.
    Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
    we young will experience much more
    future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
    My brother I love you.
    Old friends and family too.
    Safe for now glad to know I’m alive with all of you.
    Feel what is real feel later heal.
    One.
    One person feeling the same as all the rest.
    Please let us act and do what is best.

  46. Commented on this photo:

    That dude looks like a cross between Al Pacino and Phil Spector. Hahaha…wait, what?

  47. AnnaLynne McCord Cleopatra
    Commented on this photo:

    Luckily I attached magnets to my groin earlier today.

  48. Leelee Sobieski
    HiveMonster
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a titty bit nipply out, wouldn’t you say?

  49. Lil Wayne
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait there’s a space! Right there on my tongue!

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