Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we find Brett Ratner struggling to understand why this Long John Silver’s app isn’t showing him porn, Pete Doherty continues living despite his best efforts otherwise, Mickey Rourke‘s spare parts utility belt seems to be overflowing, and we bear witness to the final horrifying moment in Kelly Clarkson‘s bassist’s life. If only he’d noticed the sign taped to the green room door stating clearly, ‘If you’ve been near a Dunkin’ Donuts in the past week, you MUST shower before soundcheck.’
Poor sonofabitch,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Her ass jumped the shark (into Mom butt)
One of the signature features of the Hasselhoff apparel line is that it gives EVERYBODY mom butt.
You say potato, I say…I pooped my pants.
How this guy ever landed Lara Stone I’ll never know!
Pretty sure she’s thinking the same thing.
She’s trying to eat him
Poor guy should have read the fine print in his contract.
Cleaning up after her last film.
Why must she ALWAYS make a stupid looking face?
What kind of face would you make if your breath always smelled like pussy?
Genuinely LOL.
A very happy face.
Um….a smile?
Is that an insult that gay guys use?
You expect way too much from this chick.
She just came in her pant; Again
I’m no longer thinking she is making a face, I’m thinking that’s just her NATURAL UGLY FUCKING FACE. Mama told her it would freeze that way….
Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Meth Magician!!!
They are showing us what they did to that hooker.
Are they finally sending her out to sea, Eskimo style?
Aww this poor girl isn’t asking for you to make fat jokes at her expense, but here they come…
Wow! you can predict the future! Promise me you won’t use your powers for evil.
Danny Devito!!!! I love your movies….
I’m thinking the crowd here may be a bit old for a Mean Girls reference…Then again this crowd does like their girls hot and of a questionable-not-quite-sure-she’s-legal age so it’s a toss up.
Greasy fingers don’t work worth shit on a touch screen.
You can’t tell from this photo but both the dog and the shit are stuffed.
Damned new technology! You just want to do one simple thing, like send a picture of your junk out to your production assistants, and it’s all “password this” and “login that.”
“…and then we lightly touched the tips of our penises together.”
Jeez Paul, go outside ever once in a while
I thought this was a pale, sickly miniature Mel Brooks.
It’s an extremely rare photo angle in which we can’t see at least one of her eyes.
So did I, so we are twice over evil.
“And so Yo Yo says, they’re called finger cuffs. Put your finger in . . .”
“Yes, Hello, I’m a douche.”
Shrimp platters – there’s an App for that
cash, money, bitches
“I hope nobody blames that on me.” The dog.
Welcome to the Boys & Girls Club of Burbank, serving the children of those impoverished souls who can’t afford the latest Mercedes model year.
“Hey what happened to that table full of Lunchables we left out?!?”
The paps should probably shoot her in panorama mode but who the fuck wants to see her anyway?
Wait, I thought that was Stodden, circa 1996.
Nice bathroom tiles.
Hey, it’s a nice necklace! Plus if she catches you staring at her cleavage, you can always say, “Oh, I was just admiring your jewelry. Where did you get this?” And then she’ll think you’re gay and try to convert you. So you actually get laid for looking at her breasts—all thanks to that necklace.
No, no, she won’t think you’re gay! She’ll think you’re admiring her personal taste and that you’re noticing her as a person and not just a pair of tits and a banging body. That’s what you gotta play into, TomFrank. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Kimmy. I love you.
Yeah, but all I keep thinking about is scrubbing bubbles.
After a few years of Fergie, I’m sure that assistant and her “lady vagina” is looking pretty good.
Genuine British high society.
Upon first glance at this picture I thought she was humping the dog.
that dog humps her. It’s not so much a give and take thing they have going on.
She’s lovely
This comment reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld in which the guy looked at the ugly baby and said, “She’s breathtaking”.
LOL, I don’t say that about everybody!
I agree with you, Mister Nick. I think she’s a total hotty. Unfortunately I now also think of her as a two-timing bitch ‘cuz I saw her first!
Should’ve use the photo from ten seconds later when she falls off the dock and drowns after getting knocked unconscious by a gondola and the world becomes a better place.
Are you nuts? Kate Hudson is adorable. I think the fact that she is almost tit-less even adds to her attraction, ‘cuz the rest of her is amazing.
Cute buttox.
Wow, he’s really got the make-up down for Burn Victim #3.
“Siri, What’s the closest shrimp cocktail sex parlor?”
Sure, Katie. First time you’ve ever been bound up and stuck to a wall. We totally believe you.
“It’s simple, we eat the Bieber.”
If I was a millionaire like her I would hire someone like me to pick up shit from a dog like hers.
So, those dudes are all about the PDA, I guess. Whatever.
“pooop…”
Ya gotta wonder if he gets off on the fact that she looks like a 10 year old boy when he’s hittin’ it from behind.
I don’t think anyone is “wondering”….
Ya think? I suspect I could live with it.
God. Damn.
I had to say”Thank you”! since I couldn’t give you a thumbs up.
“Your Honor, the witness is clearly lying. Anyone who claims Tori Spelling was ever even remotely attractive is a pathological liar.”
“Here is Exhibit C. I rest my case.”
Turns out that with the right person in front of it a bright white van is painted “camouflage” color.
Cut to 15 years from now: “Mommy, why is the guy from the car wash in a picture with you?”
To which will come the reply, “That’s not the guy from the car wash, that’s just some fat chick. And I’m your daddy, Justin Jr. D-a-d-d-y.”
She’s performing with Midnight Oil?
Damn, beat me to it!
Red Skull had trouble fitting on his new skin-mask this morning.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
That’s what happened to my shower curtain!
I’m pretty sure Penn State isn’t going to be hiring this guy as a coach anytime soon.
“No no, little girl. I’m not at all taking a picture of you while bending over… I am uhmmm checking my email.. yeah, that’s it…”
So sorry sir, just noticed my comment is suspiciously similar to yours. I hate coming in late! (But Ratner likes coming in shrimp.)
He’s still alive?
And in a *movie*?
Is she his biggest fan?
Possibly…certainly up there in the top three or four.
This post wins.
Thread ends here.
Yeah. Kanye seems the marrying type. Especially to a woman.
He just wants to wear a bow tie and cummerbund.
I said cummerbund.
“Not at all like my first pony ride…”