Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you slightly early because the Internet fell completely into Prince Harry‘s royal naked b-hole and it’s swirling ginger vortex of newslessness. Although I did still manage to round up a nice little collection of celebrity weirdness for you, including January Jones‘s perpetual bitch-face, the most flattering pic I could find of Alicia Silverstone, nice try, Jennifer Love Hewitt, but even blackface isn’t going to trick Jaime Kennedy, and finally, that fact that Fergie is a full-grown, penis-bearing man in no way sways me from declaring that her weird shirt angle is a pregnant belly.
Journalism, our highest priori- Ooh, look a buttcrack!
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“How’d I get into reality TV? I auditioned for “Titty Fuck Gang Bang 7″ and it just didnt work out”
She should have tried “Titty Fuck Gang Bang 12″ Pretty obvious only 7 dicks wouldn’t fill that gap.
Excuse me, but I think the title you’re all looking for is “Titty Titty Gang Bang.”
♪ Oh, you, pretty titty gang bang
Titty Titty Gang Bang
We love you
And, in
Titty Titty Gang Bang
Titty Titty Gang Bang
What we’ll do
Out, in, make your nipples spin
Oh, how we’ll fuck you ’til you’re sore
Gang Bang Titty Titty Gang Bang
Our fine fake D-cup whore
Gang Bang Titty Titty Gang Bang
Our fine fake D-cup whore ♪
*applause*
I’m going to have to add those to my collection.
She wasn’t allowed to get old
He realized his error immediately. He was too deep into the corner and too far from the door. Her dance become more rhythmic as she began to talk about herself. There was no escape this time. He would have to endure her, until she grew hungry, or until someone else walked by carrying a bigger mirror, or perhaps, if he was very lucky, some charitable saint would notice his plight and offer her another talk show while he quietly made his escape. But those were just daydreams in a waking nightmare. For now, he had to face reality. For now, he was trapped.
I’m beginning to think you’re wasting this on us. Someone with half your writing and grammatical skills is pulling in over a million dollars a week just from writing ridiculous sex books for middle-aged female Twilight fans.
I love this poster’s comments.
Where do you come up with this stuff dude? It’s amazing.
Moments later he gets a call from Arnold Schwarzenegger.asking for the woman’s number.
My favorite Shebrew, I’ve always thought that Ari Graynor is oddly hot.
So that’s how she lost all that weight. Invisible hot dogs. Clever. Very clever.
Leather shorts are better at hiding the pee pee
Name the show with the lowest wardrobe budget.
Fish, please tell me you don’t pay for pics of this person. Please.
No money is exchanged for Rita snaps, but sometimes PhotoBoy must provide the photo source with certain “favors”.
Just the opposite. Checks from a certain “Mr. Incognitius” are sent to Photo Boy to keep her in this feature several times a week.
I really hope this is true! I need a rationale. LOL
Pssst. Wanna buy a watch?
Let’s hope it works. Whatever it is.
How cute. Dr. Strangelove taking young Hans for a walk.
No denying that kid is hers…look at those identical vapid expressions.
I love that her hand appears to be about 6 inches away from her leg. No photoshop here, no sir!
And it’s grainier than the rest of the picture. I’m not an expert, so it’s sad that us regular people are catching on…
Laura Croft, Publicity Raider.
Now what, Brooke Shields ?
He makes even a joke picture look creepy as hell.
why the fuck dd i think this was Kate Beckinsale
Get your eyes checked, heathen.
I thought this was Ashely Judd from the thumbnail pic
Time to re-glue those top dentures grandma!
So it’s true. Motherhood really does make you a happier person.
It’s in da hole! It’s in da hole!
Two hours into his story on how he used to torture animals as a kid.
When you look int the Ark of the Covenant, shit like this happens.
If she’s a super-model, then she must be standing real close to a mountain of Kryptonite right now.
If that’s an invitation to kiss her ass, I’d accept it.
Just think, only 10 more years until the 25th Anniversary of her new face!
Who?
She’s got Roger Staubach pinkie.
The Superficial needs better firewall. Obviously, George Lucas just won’t stop inserting Jabba the Hutt into anything, anywhere.
Hypothetical. I’m at a Hollywood PTA meeting. Do I:
a) Bang Alicia Silverstone
b) Bang January Jones
c) Bang Sarah Jessica Parker
d) Do a Tony Scott off the Vincent Thomas Bridge into the sweet release of death
I know it’s a tough question, but think on it.
since me and Alicia have similar spiritual beliefs it would be A.
D while doing A or B.
I’d go with A, mainly for nostalgia. B is cold bitch and I’m not feeling it.
Every multiple choice question has that gimme that’s just sooo off the fucking wall nobody could even imagine it’s the right answer. In this case that’s C.
Did I tell you about my student film? First of all, it’s in black and white.
Princess.. Leah…? I’m.. ahhh.. here to.. uh, rescue you…?
Dayuummm, the invisible Man is thick …
You know it does the math for you, right dipshit?
Wow, I never thought Tyra Banks could look crazy.
A boil on the Arse of Pestilence.
I fail to see what this has to do with training problem dogs & their nitwit owners.
“Nothing to see here.”
Seriously, nothing to see here…
Ugly, hairy, dirty, talentless… but he has money and fame so the ladies love him ;)
that guy would get laid if he was homeless. you’re blatantly wrong.
After his photog says no to a tickle fight, Cesar offers a free first shot to sweeten the deal.
“Who’s there? Oh shit, why did I lift up my trashcan? “
He looks like the physical embodiment of a cloistered old rich gay dude’s concept of a “street tough.”
Oh wait, I know this one. 867-5309.
The lines on his shirt mark how long his beard has grown. Then he pulled a Miley.
I feel pretty proud of myself for not knowing any Dirty Dancing quotes.
You probably know a couple, you just don’t know they’re from Dirty Dancing. Like, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” or…hmm…that’s really the only memorable quote from the movie, isn’t it?
“I carried a watermelon?”
She was better in Ferris Bueller. Like when she tells Charlie Sheen to stick his thumb up his ass. Or when she kicked Ed Rooney in the face. So choice.
“..and I caught a fish this big!”
It’s your move Katie Couric.
HAHAHA! Good one!
Mom, you’re embarasssing me!
Spray on Cum. Now with new handle for a more natural feel.
Look at me, I’m Tony Scott!
I hate myself for laughing.
They’re making another season of that terrible fucking show ?!