The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.22.12

August 22nd, 2012 // 490 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you slightly early because the Internet fell completely into Prince Harry‘s royal naked b-hole and it’s swirling ginger vortex of newslessness. Although I did still manage to round up a nice little collection of celebrity weirdness for you, including January Jones‘s perpetual bitch-face, the most flattering pic I could find of Alicia Silverstone, nice try, Jennifer Love Hewitt, but even blackface isn’t going to trick Jaime Kennedy, and finally, that fact that Fergie is a full-grown, penis-bearing man in no way sways me from declaring that her weird shirt angle is a pregnant belly.

Journalism, our highest priori- Ooh, look a buttcrack!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Audrina Patridge Cleavage
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “How’d I get into reality TV? I auditioned for “Titty Fuck Gang Bang 7″ and it just didnt work out”

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      She should have tried “Titty Fuck Gang Bang 12″ Pretty obvious only 7 dicks wouldn’t fill that gap.

      • Excuse me, but I think the title you’re all looking for is “Titty Titty Gang Bang.”

        Oh, you, pretty titty gang bang
        Titty Titty Gang Bang
        We love you
        And, in
        Titty Titty Gang Bang
        Titty Titty Gang Bang
        What we’ll do
        Out, in, make your nipples spin
        Oh, how we’ll fuck you ’til you’re sore
        Gang Bang Titty Titty Gang Bang
        Our fine fake D-cup whore
        Gang Bang Titty Titty Gang Bang
        Our fine fake D-cup whore

      • I’m going to have to add those to my collection.

  2. Carrie Fisher With Dog In Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    She wasn’t allowed to get old

  3. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Duck Lips Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    He realized his error immediately. He was too deep into the corner and too far from the door. Her dance become more rhythmic as she began to talk about herself. There was no escape this time. He would have to endure her, until she grew hungry, or until someone else walked by carrying a bigger mirror, or perhaps, if he was very lucky, some charitable saint would notice his plight and offer her another talk show while he quietly made his escape. But those were just daydreams in a waking nightmare. For now, he had to face reality. For now, he was trapped.

  4. Gordon Ramsay
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Moments later he gets a call from Arnold Schwarzenegger.asking for the woman’s number.

  5. Ari Graynor Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    My favorite Shebrew, I’ve always thought that Ari Graynor is oddly hot.

  6. Jennifer Hudson
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s how she lost all that weight. Invisible hot dogs. Clever. Very clever.

  7. Fergie Baby Bump Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Leather shorts are better at hiding the pee pee

  8. Penn Badgley No Socks Rolled Up Pants Gossip Girl Set
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Name the show with the lowest wardrobe budget.

  9. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, please tell me you don’t pay for pics of this person. Please.

  10. Jessica Chastain
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s hope it works. Whatever it is.

  11. January Jones Sunglasses Bitchface Son Xander
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    How cute. Dr. Strangelove taking young Hans for a walk.

  12. January Jones Sunglasses Bitchface Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    No denying that kid is hers…look at those identical vapid expressions.

  13. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Swimsuit Twitter
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    I love that her hand appears to be about 6 inches away from her leg. No photoshop here, no sir!

  14. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Swimsuit Twitter
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Laura Croft, Publicity Raider.

  15. Alicia Silverstone
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Now what, Brooke Shields ?

  16. Gary Oldman Smashing Face On Glass
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He makes even a joke picture look creepy as hell.

  17. Jennifer Grey Butt Tight Leather Pants Dirty Dancing 25th Anniversary
    Emma Watson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    why the fuck dd i think this was Kate Beckinsale

  18. Alicia Silverstone
    Commented on this photo:

    Time to re-glue those top dentures grandma!

  19. January Jones Sunglasses Bitchface Son Xander
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    So it’s true. Motherhood really does make you a happier person.

  20. Kevin Federline Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s in da hole! It’s in da hole!

  21. Michael Shannon Paul Rudd Grace Photocall
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Two hours into his story on how he used to torture animals as a kid.

  22. Alicia Silverstone
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    When you look int the Ark of the Covenant, shit like this happens.

  23. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Duck Lips Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    If she’s a super-model, then she must be standing real close to a mountain of Kryptonite right now.

  24. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Duck Lips Twitter
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    If that’s an invitation to kiss her ass, I’d accept it.

  25. Jennifer Grey Butt Tight Leather Pants Dirty Dancing 25th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    Just think, only 10 more years until the 25th Anniversary of her new face!

  26. Carrie Fisher With Dog In Airport
    Biff
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  27. Jennifer Hudson
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got Roger Staubach pinkie.

  28. Alicia Silverstone
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    The Superficial needs better firewall. Obviously, George Lucas just won’t stop inserting Jabba the Hutt into anything, anywhere.

  29. Alicia Silverstone
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hypothetical. I’m at a Hollywood PTA meeting. Do I:

    a) Bang Alicia Silverstone
    b) Bang January Jones
    c) Bang Sarah Jessica Parker
    d) Do a Tony Scott off the Vincent Thomas Bridge into the sweet release of death

    I know it’s a tough question, but think on it.

    • Emma Watson's Vagina

      since me and Alicia have similar spiritual beliefs it would be A.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      D while doing A or B.

      I’d go with A, mainly for nostalgia. B is cold bitch and I’m not feeling it.

      Every multiple choice question has that gimme that’s just sooo off the fucking wall nobody could even imagine it’s the right answer. In this case that’s C.

  30. Adrian Grenier Beard Long Hair
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Did I tell you about my student film? First of all, it’s in black and white.

  31. Carrie Fisher With Dog In Airport
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    Princess.. Leah…? I’m.. ahhh.. here to.. uh, rescue you…?

  32. Jennifer Hudson
    KungFu Panda
    Commented on this photo:

    Dayuummm, the invisible Man is thick …

  33. Kevin Federline Scruffy Beard
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You know it does the math for you, right dipshit?

  34. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Duck Lips Twitter
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I never thought Tyra Banks could look crazy.

  35. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Swimsuit Twitter
    Wild Hogs Can't Be Broken
    Commented on this photo:

    A boil on the Arse of Pestilence.

  36. Cesar Millan
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I fail to see what this has to do with training problem dogs & their nitwit owners.

  37. Jamie Kennedy
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nothing to see here.”

    Seriously, nothing to see here…

  38. Adrian Grenier Beard Long Hair
    General Zod
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly, hairy, dirty, talentless… but he has money and fame so the ladies love him ;)

  39. Cesar Millan
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    After his photog says no to a tickle fight, Cesar offers a free first shot to sweeten the deal.

  40. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Duck Lips Twitter
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s there? Oh shit, why did I lift up my trashcan? “

  41. Penn Badgley No Socks Rolled Up Pants Gossip Girl Set
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like the physical embodiment of a cloistered old rich gay dude’s concept of a “street tough.”

  42. Ari Graynor Cleavage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh wait, I know this one. 867-5309.

  43. Adrian Grenier Beard Long Hair
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    The lines on his shirt mark how long his beard has grown. Then he pulled a Miley.

  44. Jennifer Grey Butt Tight Leather Pants Dirty Dancing 25th Anniversary
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel pretty proud of myself for not knowing any Dirty Dancing quotes.

    • You probably know a couple, you just don’t know they’re from Dirty Dancing. Like, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” or…hmm…that’s really the only memorable quote from the movie, isn’t it?

  45. Cesar Millan
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “..and I caught a fish this big!”

  46. Alicia Silverstone
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s your move Katie Couric.

  47. Jennifer Grey Butt Tight Leather Pants Dirty Dancing 25th Anniversary
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Mom, you’re embarasssing me!

  48. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Spray on Cum. Now with new handle for a more natural feel.

  49. Cesar Millan
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at me, I’m Tony Scott!

  50. Jennifer Hudson
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re making another season of that terrible fucking show ?!

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