Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, or as is will henceforth be known, The Day Jennifer Lawrence Finally Turned Around In Those Goddamned Yoga Pants. We’ve also got Dax Shepard making this face, which I would easily trade staring at for several hours over ever having to hear him speak again, the marketing department at Foster Grant should really get their vision checked *rimshot, puts gun in mouth*, and The Superficial officially welcomes Rep. Paul Ryan.
The microphone is a dick, sir, edging toward your eager mouth. This is what we do here,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN
I’ll pump that ass.
I would also fill her up.
I’m hoping they re-enact Jennifer Connelly’s ass to ass scene from “Requiem for a Dream”
No ass to be seen, but I’d still nail it.
Still so hot even after a kid. See that? Moms whose bodies go to shit after crapping out one baby. Step your game up.
They actually don’t come out your bumhole. I know! Shocked me too.
I see she’s getting ready for my arrival.
Apparently she knows you’re cumming…
She’s so cute and sexy. Looking fucking hot these days.
Too bad “Are You There, Chelsea?” got cancelled. I like seeing her on TV. Also the show had Ali Wong (can’t go wrong there) and Lauren Lapkus was pretty funny.
3 bagger. One for you,one for her and one just in case your room-mate comes home.
All she’s missing is the floor-length black dress and the white streak in her hair
“Even I’m bored of me.”
“So Mr. Ryan, do you spell potato with an ‘e’?”
PIGS?
The potato is strong in this one.
“…and then I applied this firmly to Governor Romney’s ass…”
BREAKING NEWS: Sam Jackson to play Stephen Hawking in new “action” bio-pic of famous astrophysicist.
“Crack is a breath mint…”
“Crack, it’s a candy mint…”
STOP! You’re both fucked up!
They’re putting together a new singing group called The Two Tons of Ugly.
Brooke Shields is CRAZY… for her Foster Grants.
Regular, Plus or Super? Hmm, better check my E-meter.
“Feeeeelings, Whoa-oh-oh, Feeeeelings…”
Lens Crafters. One hour to Brooke Shields, or it’s free.
I guess she needs to raise funds to plasticize her ass, too.
sucks when you inherit your parents’ worst genes.
That narrow long face of Demi never matched that egghead of Bruce.
Steven Tyler’s transformation is complete.
For a second I thought it was Marilyn Manson.
My penis is bawling like a toddler and all I get between the sobs is something about being “so fucking confused right now”.
I sort of respect him after Bell’s hilarious Pet Sloth Meltdown. Guy clearly knows how to treat his lady.
There’s an S missing on that shirt.
derp
is he wearing eyeliner???
Drawings of the devil usually depict him with his toungue outstreched.
She sweats like her father, Mark.
Is that an oil painting of Brooke Shields?
How’s his daughter going?