The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.15.12

August 15th, 2012 // 435 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, or as is will henceforth be known, The Day Jennifer Lawrence Finally Turned Around In Those Goddamned Yoga Pants. We’ve also got Dax Shepard making this face, which I would easily trade staring at for several hours over ever having to hear him speak again, the marketing department at Foster Grant should really get their vision checked *rimshot, puts gun in mouth*, and The Superficial officially welcomes Rep. Paul Ryan.

The microphone is a dick, sir, edging toward your eager mouth. This is what we do here,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    KungFu Panda
    Commented on this photo:

    First pic in a while where she doesn’t look like she just shit herself.

  2. Jennifer Garner
    KungFu Panda
    Commented on this photo:

    Here let me fill that for ya …. ziiip

  3. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone have a paper bag handy?

  4. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch please… Go call Kardashian’s photoshop guy for some real special effects…

  5. Dax Shepard Hit and Run Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, it looks like a donkey who just got kicked in the nads…

  6. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Emotion level zero beep boop bop

  7. Tommy Hilfiger Spandex Running Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow I don’t think “As the guy who came into my butt last night” quite fits into that shirt….

  8. Laura Prepon Dyed Black Hair
    Emma Watson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    wow i thought it was Olivia Munn in the thumbnail or Whitney Cummings in that photo.

  9. Paul Ryan Bug Eyes Tongue Out
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He wants the precious, but it will never happen.

  10. Jennifer Lawrence Butt Yoga Pants
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Has anyone ever motorboated an ass before? ::volunteers::

  11. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    An airbrushing masterpiece.

  12. Samuel L. Jackson Kangol Hat
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    If “nigga please” was a face, he’s making it.

  13. Nicky Minaj Foxy Brown Huge Butts
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Brown it is, foxy it is not.

    I have no comment for that abomination that puts to rest any argument for the existence of a deity.

  14. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Her mom spends a reported Half a Million on plastic surgery but can’t afford to fix this hot mess?

  15. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    A good “legs” day at the gym might be something to consider.

  16. Laura Prepon Dyed Black Hair
    Lord Xenu
    Commented on this photo:

    Lord Xenu does not approve of the the brown hair. You must audit it away.

    We take cash, check, VISA or Mastercard. No Discover.

  17. Nicky Minaj Foxy Brown Huge Butts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she was brought up there to make Nicki look good, congratulations, it worked!

  18. Nicky Minaj Foxy Brown Huge Butts
    smanchwhich
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s pretty dangerous, if you put those two things too close together they’ll form their own gravitational field

  19. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo by ILM

  20. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to show alot more tits to distract us from that face.

  21. Tommy Hilfiger Spandex Running Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope this sad photo can at least inspire some good jokes.

  22. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    PLease, someone photoshop a Blue Lagoon picture here.

  23. Dax Shepard Hit and Run Premiere
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    He is doing a Sarah Jessica Parker imitation.

  24. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet. After having sex with her I can use that map on her tits to plan my escape using the tube.

    • I'mCool

      Plan your escape all you want, but until you dislodge that tracking device she got from Fat Bastard, she’s gonna find you.

  25. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Even after photoshopping she just looks too masculine to me. I’d be afraid she’d punch me if angry.

  26. Jordana Brewster Butt Yoga Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There is much cuteness here.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I see my inspiration for future comment bitchiness didn’t last long. Not even a crack at that Pippa ass?

      • Cock Dr

        I hyped up the bitchiness last week…..hard to sustain that level of venom.
        But you’re back so I can pass that cunt baton right over into your capable hands.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        Thanks for holding down the venomous fort while I was off providing much needed medical assistance to african orphans last week.

        Cunt baton? like a dildo? I hope you washed it.

      • Cock Dr

        Silly Burger Boy, of course I didn’t wash it.
        You want a certain amount of stickiness on the baton so that the receiving individual is less likely to drop it.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        *sniffs fingers*

      • This exchange was classic.

      • A while back, I made a suggestion that Superficial should honor the thread of the week, as well as TMIPOTI. This thread is the perfect case to justify that suggestion.
        Kudos to Doc and the Burger King!

  27. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Veiny monsters.

  28. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    Sooperficial
    Commented on this photo:

    Thnees. It’s like cankles… well, you get the point.

  29. Tommy Hilfiger Spandex Running Pants
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I unsee his man toe?

  30. Kristen Bell Butt Hit And Run Premiere
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should help her find her ass because I think it fell off

  31. Jennifer Lawrence Butt Yoga Pants
    Taylor Swifts Tampon String
    Commented on this photo:

    The logs that must escape from that ass must smell of violets and grapes

  32. Paul Ryan Bug Eyes Tongue Out
    Juju
    Commented on this photo:

    So, doing fart noises with your mouth is the best way to impress the Republican electorate? Sounds kosher, to me.

  33. Laura Prepon Dyed Black Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Pics like this need a “Fap Bank Destroyer” spoiler alert. It’s one thing to see Lindsay Lohan’s ashtray of a vagina… this is just crossing the line.

  34. Jennifer Garner
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez, every damn picture of her. Has she got some kind of opposite-of-lockjaw disease?

  35. Jordana Brewster Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought for a second that Tina Fey spent the summer getting some work done. Bitch look fine! But nevermind.

  36. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Its Cindy-Lou Who

  37. Paul Ryan Bug Eyes Tongue Out
    Atomicbeddy
    Commented on this photo:

    The Annoying Orange is running now?

  38. Jennifer Lawrence Butt Yoga Pants
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Tight body, hose, nozzle sliding into a hole… It’s just too easy.

  39. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the Joker lips

  40. Brittny Gastineau Cleavage Drunk
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that DNA splattered on her dress or just evidence of the cocaine sweats?

  41. Amy Childs Cleavage Fragrance Launch
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would you like to sample my new stench, er, ah, I mean scent?”

  42. Nicky Minaj Foxy Brown Huge Butts
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this one of those holograms like they did for Tupac a few months back?

  43. Nicky Minaj Foxy Brown Huge Butts
    Juju
    Commented on this photo:

    The amount of ass-ness on that stage turned Nicki Minaj into a Chinese.

  44. Brooke Shields Foster Grant Eyewear Spokesperson
    Commented on this photo:

    Man hands

  45. Brittny Gastineau Cleavage Drunk
    Juju
    Commented on this photo:

    Hooker!

  46. Laura Prepon Dyed Black Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Blonde was bad, brunette even worse… what’s so wrong with keeping it red?

  47. Tommy Hilfiger Spandex Running Pants
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Something about this picture is just wrong. I can’t put my finger on it… and I don’t want to either!

  48. Dax Shepard Hit and Run Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Schwartzeneggers nose just before he pulled out the tracking device.

  49. Rumer Willis Cleavage Legs Pale Skin Short Shorts
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    The cleavage idea was good, but she needs more.

  50. Samuel L. Jackson Kangol Hat
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

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