The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.14.13

August 14th, 2013 // 314 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we finally get a day without Anthony Weiner doing anything creepy. Ah shit, scratch that. Well, we do still have this Abu Nazir blowjob face which I’m told just earned me tenure, the Shauna Sand profile pic that needs to legally be imprinted just above the signature line on every plastic surgery waiver, and Matthew Modine who’s apparently been The Amazing Jonathan this whole time and Jesus Christ, am I old. Did I really just reference a stand-up act I remember watching on Comedy Central when I was 13?

*thinks back to playing SEGA Channel* Hey, remember that funny shit Earthworm Jim would do if you just did nothing with the controller? #RELEVANT

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Calhau
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, man. The film is called Jobs, not Blowjobs.

  2. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She gives good glare. I think I like her.

  3. Lesley Ann Warren Bra See Through Blouse Jobs Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Headlights…she’s got ‘em.

  4. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She always entertains.
    Don’t attempt to read anything she writes or listen to anything she says. Therein lies madness.

  5. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Showing up at a premiere stoned with a cummerbund wrapped around the forehead is a good way to wind up in TCWM.

  6. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    meeps!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they remaking Brazil…?

  7. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    I resemble that remark…!

  8. Richard Gere Fat Belly Weight Gain Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s see… Car keys .. wallet….Gerbil Ok I got everything”

  9. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This pains me. He was an incredible athlete, an American Olympic star. Now he’s fallen in with a Bad Crowd.

  10. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    No ass, huh? Pfft.

  11. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Madam Tussaud knows better than to leave that shit in the sun…

  12. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate this stupid pose. she might as well turn her head around and stand facing the wall.

  13. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Doughy Maguire, AMIRITE?!?

  14. Helena Vestergaard Hiding Behind Anthony Kiedis
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not how you suck his kiss.

  15. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    That bitch is ugly.

  16. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have a card explaining my condition.”

  17. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    The live action Bert and Ernie

  18. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    even the most veteran of hookers eventually are overcome with shame which has become the case here.

  19. Helena Vestergaard Hiding Behind Anthony Kiedis
    Commented on this photo:

    In another time, in another dimension, Hitler was just another guy on the way to the beer hall.

  20. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    “Penny Marshall! Can you sign my shirt?!?”

  21. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    she is a complete fame whore

  22. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    is something happening near her nipple?

  23. Gerard Depardieu Moustache F2014 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, who let him back into France

  24. Gerard Depardieu Moustache F2014 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your croissants! Give them to me!”

  25. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re telling me that our educational system so bad that THIS is the UK spelling bee champion?”

  26. Adrian Grenier Looking At iPhone Apple Soho Store Foo Tripping App Promotion
    Commented on this photo:

    “My douche locator app keeps pointing at me.”

  27. Gerard Depardieu Moustache F2014 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, “F 2013″ is pretty much how I feel, too.

  28. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Prince Charles on vacation this week?

  29. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Wrynoceros
    Commented on this photo:

    What? Do I know how to impregnate a common cow? Why would I…? Ohhhh, I see what you did there, yes, jolly good…

  30. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone smack her in the back of the head, her face is stuck like that again.

  31. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Why not just bend over and spread your ass cheeks

  32. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually this is pretty much what I expected a Botox over dose to look like.

  33. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Huffing ether is ‘in’ in Hollywood.

  34. Kate Hudson Butt Tight Jeans I Wish I Was Here Set
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a nice healthy rubber plant.

  35. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Juan Diablo
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon guys, she might be crying in this photo. or laughing, or that’s just the way the doctor left it

  36. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only uninformed idiot seeing all kinds of hawtt in this kid?

  37. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    The two steel support beams protruding from her clavicle to her chin are used to hold her head up after she had all her neck muscles surgically removed to appear more “swan-like and graceful”.

  38. Justin Timberlake Trying To Hide In Backseat
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hat by Fisher-Price

  39. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    “You fthink yer better than me? I’mma star. A bigbright shinin’ fucki *barfs* strar!”

  40. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    There is a set of lips behind his teeth.

  41. Justin Timberlake Trying To Hide In Backseat
    Commented on this photo:

    Marriage is turning him into a schlub like the rest of us… plus 300 million dollars and a wife with the world’s best ass, but one of us.

  42. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the leftover husk of an attractive woman that shed her skin.

  43. Josh Duhamel Orgasm Face Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    “See the beard? Yep, I’m still a man… yes she can bench more than me.”

  44. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    The pose is as contrived and desperate for attention as its striker.

  45. Richard Gere Fat Belly Weight Gain Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I had him for sociology in college.

  46. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Lourdes, remember Kabbalah? Haha, remember? Your mom was totally “devoted” to Kabbalah when it was trendy? Remember the red string bracelets? Haha, she went to temple with noted thinkers like Britney Spears and Ashton Kutcher hahahaha. Remember? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  47. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    Commented on this photo:

    “To answer your question, I like to think I’m the bigger hipster doucheface– look at this 1990 nose ring for christ’s sake– but I have to admit that this guy is bringing it today with his ironically worn jorts and purple sunglasses. Thankfully, I’ve always got this ball and chain tattoo ready to put me over the douche top.”

  48. Lesley Ann Warren Bra See Through Blouse Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Lesley Ann Warren hoping for a job at the premiere of ‘Jobs’ in Los Angeles.

  49. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look future me, tell me straight up, do I knock up one of those chicks from Real Housewives?”

    “Yep. And a Hooters waitress, a female MMA fighter and a whole Eskimo village. You also get herpes.”

    “I was talking about the future, not the present.”

  50. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    The Henry Ford of attention whores.

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