The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.14.13

August 14th, 2013 // 314 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we finally get a day without Anthony Weiner doing anything creepy. Ah shit, scratch that. Well, we do still have this Abu Nazir blowjob face which I’m told just earned me tenure, the Shauna Sand profile pic that needs to legally be imprinted just above the signature line on every plastic surgery waiver, and Matthew Modine who’s apparently been The Amazing Jonathan this whole time and Jesus Christ, am I old. Did I really just reference a stand-up act I remember watching on Comedy Central when I was 13?

*thinks back to playing SEGA Channel* Hey, remember that funny shit Earthworm Jim would do if you just did nothing with the controller? #RELEVANT

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    “You worthless *hic* punk! I was once *hic* Spider-freakin’-Man! Don’t make me *hic* web you…”

  2. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    That pose is for women who want to show off the back of their dress, or guys who are pissing between a building and a dumpster.

  3. Justin Timberlake Trying To Hide In Backseat
    Commented on this photo:

    “Please, no flash photography! You’ll damage my sensitive skin!”

  4. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    When can we start using the title “pre-op?”

  5. Richard Gere Fat Belly Weight Gain Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    How’s the new baby, George? Sorry Richard, we thought you were George Lucas.

  6. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Corey must be running out of money. He’s only got ONE hooker with him.

  7. Daniel Radcliffe Pale Sking Dark Circles Under Eyes Che Guevara Smiley Face Shirt
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t get alarmed, but there’s a ginger child on my left. Just don’t make any sudden movements and I’ll get you to the limo.”

  8. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a little young to be fixing telegraph lines.

  9. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that Rosie O’Donnell has finally lost some weight, I think I’d do her.

  10. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    rospo
    Commented on this photo:

    made an efford, congratulations.

  11. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    Commented on this photo:

    They look like they are eating virtual ice cream cones.

  12. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the bandana to cover a receding hairline?

  13. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s your hair transplant donor, sir. It’s the closest colour match we could find.

  14. Helena Vestergaard Hiding Behind Anthony Kiedis
    spikedtounge
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Geraldo and Moe had a baby!

  15. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I can still shoot stuff out of my fingers. Only now it’s mostly pus.

  16. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    spikedtounge
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to the jungle! We got fun and games!

  17. Kate Hudson Butt Tight Jeans I Wish I Was Here Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The people going to see that movie are going to wish you weren’t.

  18. Josh Duhamel Orgasm Face Jimmy Kimmel Live
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone better get that cameraman the number to the suicide hotline.

  19. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    She is neither foreign nor press.

  20. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    spikedtounge
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, she was in Playboy 1,000 years ago and married to Lorenzo Lamas 100 years ago so why the fuck is anyone taking her picture?!

  21. Richard Gere Fat Belly Weight Gain Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it too early to ask him for a toy train for Christmas?

  22. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I would have that look on my face every day too if I were Madonna’s kid.

  23. Gerard Depardieu Moustache F2014 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “So glad to be working in Paris! Now what’s today’s Euro to Ruble exchange rate?”

  24. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the best that Kathleen Turner has looked in years!

  25. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    God, please send these two to an Insane Clown Posse concert. The result will be way more entertaining than any movie they will ever do.

  26. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Miss Pickford
    Commented on this photo:

    Then: 1976 Olympic Gold Medalist for the USA for Men’s Decathlon, Now: Exposed as a long-unknown defector from the Women’s East German team.

  27. Lesley Ann Warren Bra See Through Blouse Jobs Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what she had to give to Satan.

  28. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yes, please, do tell me more about your latest goddamned musical!

  29. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    ”with great… responsibility.. comes.. great, great … oh fuck it”

  30. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she one of the bodies?

  31. Aaron Paul Sayers Nightclub
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Bud Bundy can still get into nightclubs?

  32. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s an interesting new form of hover-hand.

  33. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s going to be very disappointed when he finds out that “Jobs” line is just for a movie.

  34. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    mermaid
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hee-haa cheeeeeeese!”

    No Ms. Kidman, over here.

  35. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what happens when you’re too low to even get a porn job.

  36. Gerard Depardieu Moustache F2014 Set
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Da Bears!

  37. Daniel Radcliffe Pale Sking Dark Circles Under Eyes Che Guevara Smiley Face Shirt
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the “Baggus Heroinus!” spell worked.

  38. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing what you can do with just a bunch of piano wire and botox.

  39. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m here for the opening”.

    BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA!

    I’m sorry, I’ll show myself out.

  40. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “Reply with ‘I will only 69 if the coke is fine’. It’ll show that I’m smart and serious. Very serious. Extremely serious. On second though, tell him that I’ll do whatever he wants for three lines and small poke of heroin. WHATEVER needs to be in all caps.”

  41. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    GG
    Commented on this photo:

    Robert looks like a younger Billy Sheehan, (aka incredible bass player). I’m too lazy to Google him… Any ideas if I’m right?

  42. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    She smiled, secretly knowing that her next cigarette was laced with cyanide, and this joyride through an old pre-teen fantasy-turned-nightmare would soon be over. She gripped it harder. A few more steps and she would fire up oblivion.

  43. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wish the paparazzi would leave so I can pick my nose.”

  44. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see the ribbons, but I refuse to believe that a cow could win all those for….ohhh….ahhhh….mmmm….that IS blue ribbon quality, good fellow….ohhh…”

  45. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Back in the 70′s when the Incredible Hulk was on TV, they changed the name of Bruce banner to “David” Banner because they felt “Bruce” was “Too gay of a name”, despite the fact that BRUCE Jenner was recognised as one of the greatest athletes on the planet earth (True story).

    Cut to 35 years later – who knew that the producers of The Incredible Hulk were actually time travelers who knew that Bruce Jenner would eventually, slowly, but surely give in to his tranny-like desires.

    And that’s one to grow on, because knowing is half the battle. Go, Joe!!

  46. Aaron Paul Sayers Nightclub
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming home from the corporate laundromat.

  47. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    He just walks around like that to distract everyone from staring at his massive eyebrows.

  48. Lesley Ann Warren Bra See Through Blouse Jobs Premiere
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus. First Melanie Griffith and now this one. Enough with the 80 year old chicks in see-through shirts already.

  49. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ummm. No, your highness. Drinking milk directly from the cow will not help you grow hair on your head, and no, I very much do not want to play “milk the cow” with you in your room.”

  50. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Calhau
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that the way to irrelevance?”

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