The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.14.13

August 14th, 2013 // 314 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we finally get a day without Anthony Weiner doing anything creepy. Ah shit, scratch that. Well, we do still have this Abu Nazir blowjob face which I’m told just earned me tenure, the Shauna Sand profile pic that needs to legally be imprinted just above the signature line on every plastic surgery waiver, and Matthew Modine who’s apparently been The Amazing Jonathan this whole time and Jesus Christ, am I old. Did I really just reference a stand-up act I remember watching on Comedy Central when I was 13?

*thinks back to playing SEGA Channel* Hey, remember that funny shit Earthworm Jim would do if you just did nothing with the controller? #RELEVANT

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Aaron Paul Sayers Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo. I can’t cross until I see the little white man, BITCH!

  2. Helena Vestergaard Hiding Behind Anthony Kiedis
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he is a special needs kid that just hit puberty.

  3. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet headband, Olivia!

  4. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh the Son’a are back!!!!

  5. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What we see here is what happens after facelift number 9… the “loose skin” the surgeon starts pulling is coming from her chest.

  6. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tobey! Do you know where I can get some Valium?”

  7. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Jamie is either the girl on the left or the fruit on the right.

  8. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, Shauna, I’ll give you bigger boobs. But I’ll need to draw fat from somewhere else on your body.”
    “What? Why not use a dono-OW! Where’s the anesthetic? I thought you were a professional!”
    “Professional what?”

  9. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    From Olympian to Old Lesbian: The Bruce Jenner Story

  10. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d rather spend the evening with Corey Haim.

  11. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice camel toe…wait, what?

  12. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna lick the sweaty underside of that flabby buttcheek

  13. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    hollyhood
    Commented on this photo:

    someone must have shouted that they found her career – it probably died from neglect.

  14. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    A gluteal scrotum, you don’t see those very often.

  15. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, that’s not my stepmother either, got anything more horsey?”

  16. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re so quiet all of a sudden you’re the one they call “Mouth” aren’t you?

    [mumbling] Mmm mm!

    [Mama Fratelli proceeds to pull a very long pearl necklace out of Mouth's mouth] Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Is that all?

    [mumbles] Mmm hmm.

    [Mama Frateli smacks Mouth on the back of his head and he spits out the rest of his share of the jewels]

  17. Daniel Radcliffe Pale Sking Dark Circles Under Eyes Che Guevara Smiley Face Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Not medicated……

  18. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what the men look like in Paris. I swear they’re more feminine than the women over there.

  19. Robert Sheehan Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Q&A
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Misfits, Photoboy, the show was called Misfits. England’s version of Heroes, only darker, funnier and better.

  20. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “So now….every time I see one of those blue monstrosities my dick hurts…..-hey, it’s Lindsay Lohan!”

    “I’ll signal here over here.”

    “Thanks.”

  21. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s melting.

  22. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s a famous 90s movie star?? This guy!”

  23. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “That chick is totally checking me out!”
    “You wanna split a large fries?”

  24. Adrian Grenier Looking At iPhone Apple Soho Store Foo Tripping App Promotion
    Commented on this photo:

    I loved that story you posted a couple years ago from that famewhore that slept with him, then proceeded to complain about how smelly and hairy his crotch was as she was blowing him.

  25. Richard Gere Fat Belly Weight Gain Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t know if being called George Lucas is a compliment, but it’s nice not being asked about the gerbil all the time!”

  26. Shauna Sand Saggy Boobs And Ass Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Shauna. Sad.

  27. Justin Timberlake Trying To Hide In Backseat
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aw Crap! We’ve been spotted.”
    “Who is it Justin, the paparazzi?”
    “Nah, man, Joey Fatone.”

  28. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course that’s his girlfriend. Look at the way they affectionately, uh, avoid each others gaze and kinda-sorta hold hands. That’s love, people.

  29. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently this idiot banged Madonna about 17 years ago.

  30. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Bruce Jenner and my aunt in the same room at the same time.

  31. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “She does fellate admirably, I will give you that.”

  32. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Cleavage Hollywood Press Association Annual Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    Another unfortunate sufferer of locked-in syndrome.

  33. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    When in New York, be sure to visit the Leaning Tower of Chems.

  34. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    No Occifer, I have not been drinky.

  35. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And in today’s Superficial Open Mouth photo…

  36. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Melissa Etheridge has really let herself go.

  37. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    I still think she looks better than Lohan and is what, two decades older?

  38. Tobey Maguire Derpface Sruffy Facial Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    He is not going to pass his sobriety test.

  39. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me young lady, but could you back that thing up?

  40. Matthew Modine Headband Sunglasses Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He seriously never ages. It’s weird.

  41. Gerard Butler At Lunch With Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear to God, if that asshole yells ‘Sparta!” one more time…”

  42. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    With that expression, one would think the title of the film was Blow Jobs.

  43. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha…that lady stole a coffee that was intended for someone named Bruce.

  44. Bruce Jenner Man Boobs Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    I think you mean “Mrs. Bruce Jenner”

  45. Courtney Love Drunk Aint Them Bodies Saints Screening
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    Corey Feldman doing his best Michael Jackson impersonation except his date doesn’t look like a pre-pubescent male.

  46. Daniel Radcliffe Pale Sking Dark Circles Under Eyes Che Guevara Smiley Face Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Mischief managed.

  47. Navid Negahban Abu Nazir Jobs Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone got confused… It’s the premiere of ‘JOBS’ not blowjobs.

  48. Lourdes Leon Butt Yoga Pants Zip Line
    heisenberg
    Commented on this photo:

    She got really screwed on this car-wash deal by Walter White.

  49. Corey Feldman Sunglasses Fedora With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    This is like The Curious Case Benjamin Button… In a couple of years he’ll go black and sport a sweet afro.

  50. Prince William Looking At Cow Anglesey County Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “I still don’t get how this is milking… Oh wait… Ha! I see what you did there”

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