The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.13.14

August 13th, 2014 // 392 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, a surprisingly robust collection considering the site shat its shorts for a good part of the day, resulting in a distinct lack of joy, which in turn slanted our lefty worldview right into a negative space. It’s a good thing pajama pants don’t require belts. (Back me up here, Rush.) In spite of all that scientific evidence for why God makes you super sad if you’re not cool with his son that he murdered, we prevailed and you’re still getting some good shit. Good shit like Joe Manganiello realizing that no tits are worth having to sit through a Justin Timberlake concert, Amanda Seyfried seriously considering how good that baby would look mounted on the wall in her den, and Paris Hilton earning hundreds of thousands of dollars right at the very moment that picture was taken.

So, still any takers on the whole God is real and loves you thing? Anyone? Helloooo?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Anastasia Ashley Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought we agreed no face.

  2. Patrick Schwarzenegger Crazy Haircut Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe this is what his father would refer to as a “girly man”

  3. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    You know for all his vices and douchebaggery let’s remember who his childhood mentor/abuser was…

  4. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “On the left is me as a whore…then in the middle I’m going for whore…and on the right is whore, but with a little but of whore.”

  5. Jessica Alba Jon Gosselin Look A Like Makeup Artist Good Morning America
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t judge. The man has 8 kids to feed.

  6. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Rivka
    Commented on this photo:

    The clear urine in his urostomy bag indicates he drinks a lot of water and may be taking a diuretic.

  7. Jessica Alba Jon Gosselin Look A Like Makeup Artist Good Morning America
    Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    Her make-up artist Lauren Anderson, who is pictured there in the shot, is a far far more beautiful woman. Look her up!

  8. Eddie Murphy Humping Paige Butcher At Coffee Shop Counter
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Bang Bros presents:______________

  9. Rita Ora Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Her outfit has the same design as the dishes I use for cat food.

  10. Scout Willis Sweaty Bra Midriff Open Blouse
    Commented on this photo:

    She is really committed to this shirtless thing. I admire that. Coincidentally, I also admire tits. Win-win for everybody.

  11. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me fiddle with this knob…yeah…fuck yeah…looks like I know what I’m doing. That’s so ratchet.

  12. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Booger Boy

  13. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never looked at another human being and thought a good way to describe how they look is a Portuguese Man-O-War.

  14. Anastasia Ashley Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    We admire her ass so often, we forget that her face is nothing to scoff at.

    • Agreed. I have cracked many a joke about hiding her face, because her marketing team seems intent to hide it, but she is quite cute, and actually, a skilled surfer. I think her team has done her a bit of a disservice in marketing. Then again, I’m typing about her, so maybe they know what they’re doing after all.

    • Not to mention that rack looks quite nice as well.

  15. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Crossroad Vegan Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes. Yes I still would.

  16. Eddie Murphy Humping Paige Butcher At Coffee Shop Counter
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I stick a banana in your tail pipe?

  17. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    These hookers are just…busted.

  18. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Who let Tin-Tin out?

  19. Jennifer Nicole Lee Buttcheeks Bikini Bottom Undone Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on. Let it fall. One of these days, you’re going to slip up with this vag teasing game you like to play, JLN. and I’ll be there to see it. And fap.

    • …you know, no matter what all the haters here say, i’ve always thought she’s pretty hot too (have you seen her exercise infommercial?) …but, c’mon …at this point, it’s getting just a little pathetic.

  20. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy will eventually be found floating face down in Bryan Singer’s pool.

  21. Scout Willis Sweaty Bra Midriff Open Blouse
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Her and Nick Nolte need to stop getting so much sun.

  22. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she has enough taste not to play her own music.

  23. Jennifer Nicole Lee Buttcheeks Bikini Bottom Undone Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Hammocks. How do they work?

  24. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Look like two big christmas hams.

  25. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he think that we don’t know?

  26. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘performing’. LOLZ

  27. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And yet Robin Williams is the one who killed himself. It ain’t fair.

  28. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a new photo app called “Funhouse Mirror.”

  29. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Well coifed.

  30. Scout Willis Sweaty Bra Midriff Open Blouse
    Commented on this photo:

    And Jon Gosselin?

  31. Anastasia Ashley Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a front!

  32. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Eejut
    Commented on this photo:

    One eye on the turntable, the other on the parking lot.

  33. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    B&WM
    Commented on this photo:

    “They can keep their bright lights of London. What I wouldn’t give to be sipping a Diet Coke and watching The Polar Express back home in the Uncanny Valley.”

  34. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got legs. She knows how to use them.

  35. Jennifer Nicole Lee Buttcheeks Bikini Bottom Undone Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her dick caught in the hammock?

  36.  Joe Manganiello Sofia Vergara Cleavage Drunk Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume 20/20 refers to the perfect quality of the many pictures of Sofia’s breasts that will be secretly taken and later auctioned off by Mr. Timberlake.

  37. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Who would have ever thought that someone would trade up to Andy Dick?

  38. Leigh Lezark Bra Midriff Jeans Kiehls LifeRide Finale Event
    Commented on this photo:

    whoever she is, more please.

  39. Jennifer Lopez Butt Swimsuit Booty Album Cover Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    and what year is this from?

  40. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She hasn’t been that small on the bottom since high school.

  41. Frank Miller Sickly Bald Head Panama Hat Meet The Filmmakers Apple Store NYC
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    Live Action Grover is creepy as fuck.

  42. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    the belt buckle is missing the ‘I V +’

  43. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    did he win a goldfish?

  44. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if he’s covered them in duck butter yet.

  45. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    she’d rather do THIS all day than try and shove that 90 year old limp dick in her again. look at that soulless expression. the whore in her natural environment.

  46. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a phone or a one month dose pack of Valtrex?

  47. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “What if” I kicked you right in your vagina.

  48. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have heard porn stars are dead inside. But she didn’t have to test it by standing next to Andy Dick.

  49. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    DJ Ghonorherpsyph.

  50. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Barth Baby Ted 2 Set
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh jeez, you have one of those? Haven’t you heard of birth control pills? They let you have sex with literally dozens of Hollywood actors and then brag about it in magazine interviews.”

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