The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.23.14

July 23rd, 2014 // 366 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ll shoot you straight and tell you I’m about to make nothing but anal sex jokes. First, it’s David Beckham learning the hard way why you never turn down John Travolta‘s invite to a Sea Org cruise, then there’s Richard Gere holding a statuette of a tiny, mythical creature of lore that undoubtedly is going right up his ass, and finally, there’s Young Commissioner Gordon doing this, which isn’t necessarily about the difficult brown, but reminds me of when a dog shits and their legs shake and they look at you like “C’mon man, do you have to giggle like that? Jesus.”

Welcome to the awful, infantile prison from which there is no escape that is my mind,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Geri Halliwell Guy Breaking Neck To Check Out
    Commented on this photo:

    Geri has a sideways camel toe….not that I was looking well yes I was looking!

  2. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Belly Leather Pants Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally letting her inner Jersey Shore bust out.

  3. Amber Rose Cleavage Bedazzled Fanny Pack Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    She shaved and then Bedazzled her merkin? Classy.

  4. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    She always walks like a baby foal tentatively taking its first steps that I want to have sex with.

  5. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t really say anything bad about him. I’m hoping he leaves me his guitar collection in his will.

  6. Amber Rose Cleavage Bedazzled Fanny Pack Tank Top Yoga Pants
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this site was about celebrities?

  7. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Belly Leather Pants Heels
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Kelly Clarkson.

  8. Dean Cain Fat Untucked Shirt A Horse For Summer Premiere
    cletus
    Commented on this photo:

    A Horse For Summer? There’s a joke about Sarah Jessica Parker in there somewhere…

  9. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    Frankly
    Commented on this photo:

    “And the Gay Griffin award goes to…Richard Gere!! Oh, big shocker. Work those jeans, girl.”

  10. Tallulah Willis Blue Hair Cheetah Print Slippers
    Frankly
    Commented on this photo:

    She obviously, TASTE THE RAINBOW!

  11. David Beckham Brown Slime Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards
    Frankly
    Commented on this photo:

    Off camera, Donald Trump takes a 50 caliber bullet to the head.

  12. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Black Dude Checking Out Ass Instagram
    Frankly
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can see her birth canal.”
    “Is that a baby in there?”
    – Dave Chappell

  13. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    Frankly
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess he couldn’t wait for the box, OR, to pull down his pants. Another Taco Bell tragedy.

  14. Tallulah Willis Blue Hair Cheetah Print Slippers
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t have the face to support neither the hair, nor the socks/sandals….

  15. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m drivin’ here…I’m drivin’ here…up yours, you son of a bitch…”
    (Goddamnit! I knew I shoulda taken that part instead of letting Hoffman have it…”)

  16. Tallulah Willis Blue Hair Cheetah Print Slippers
    Commented on this photo:

    “I heard someone said a couple of my sisters are on the homely side, and I aim to find out who said it and then kick their asses!”

  17. Prince Charles Jamaican Commonwealth Boxing Team Emirates Arena Chris Hoy Velodrome
    Commented on this photo:

    “If you don’t mind a bit of advice, young chap, back in my day we found fisticuffs to be much more effective if we squeezed our hands into fists before striking our opponents…”

  18. Irina Shayk Panty Flash Upskirt Minidress Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    I would spend the entire afternoon and half of the night licking the dust particles off her legs.

  19. Jaden Smith Hand Kissed By Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I was taught in AA to “think it through” before considering something objectionable. But I think I’ll pass on this one because I’m not sure I want to know how it ends.

  20. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    IAMTHEMOFUGGER
    Commented on this photo:

    This goes to show how much of a double standard there is between men & women. He is in great shape and she looks like she is a regular shopper at wal-mart. Why do men put up with this?

  21. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “You just watch closely. I’m gonna pee a hole right through this concrete.”

  22. Paris Hilton Holding Baby Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “QUICK…someone grab her before she takes that baby home and eats it!”

    • VitoSpermBurp

      Hmmm…so she eats babies? Oh…okay. So, she eats babies…hmmm. Let me see…baby eater. Alright, alright…I think it’s getting funny. Wait…she…eats…babies. Right. Yep…THIS IS HILARIOUS!

  23. Dean Cain Fat Untucked Shirt A Horse For Summer Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Every store I go into people accuse me if shoplifting.”

  24. Crystal Hefner Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Crystal Hefner. Whoopee. Time to move on.

  25. Joe Jonas Tank Top Hawaiin Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they’re casting for the remake of Dumb and Dumber and Even Dumber Yet, and Totally Moronic…”

  26. Katie Price Pegnant Belly Tight Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know about the rest, but I do like her Milk Duds.

  27. Geri Halliwell Guy Breaking Neck To Check Out
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! I know AA’s popularity was spreading all over the world, but I didn’t know we have our own jackets now.

  28. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do we keep seeing Taylor Swift walking to and fro in front of that second hand store? I fear something is amiss…

  29. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    “Here you sing the rest…I need a breather !”

  30. Dean Cain Fat Untucked Shirt A Horse For Summer Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Dean Cain as Supperman.

  31. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Pillsy
    Commented on this photo:

    We were so poor we had to use jam tins and string for stilts.

  32. Mel B Cleavage Minidress Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch wanted $50 for a blow job, I told her $30……………

  33. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thinking she had a bad reaction to the steroids Capt fruity shoes was giving her.

  34. Amber Rose Cleavage Bedazzled Fanny Pack Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Talk about your 15 minutes being up………

  35. Paris Hilton Holding Baby Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate to admit it, but she does look rather matronly……….

  36. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    portly crue

  37. Geri Halliwell Guy Breaking Neck To Check Out
    AteIsEnough
    Commented on this photo:

    Whooo-hoooo!! Check out that spicy ass!!

  38. David Beckham Brown Slime Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    David Beckham would learn not to get too close to Richard Gere while he was playing with his golden griffin.

  39. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    Commented on this photo:

    Gentleman Gere Gets Gay Golden Griffin.

  40. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    Daver
    Commented on this photo:

    They don’t call it Heavy Metal for nothing.

    He looks like a steampunk Elvis.

  41. Tallulah Willis Blue Hair Cheetah Print Slippers
    JO JO
    Commented on this photo:

    Either those Willis/Moore genes are not compatable or someones had a lot of work done.

  42. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    VitoSpermBurp
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this give you flash backs to receiving a Boston Steamer last night?

  43. Dean Cain Fat Untucked Shirt A Horse For Summer Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    We don’t even want the Jeremy Piven we already have, do we really need a spare?

  44. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    HandsomeMatt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, they’re shaped like buttholes, I though the same thing” “No, no not prescription, so where do I put the Pegasus?” What’s that? In my butt? Yeah, I was going to anyways,lol”

  45. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    HandsomeMatt
    Commented on this photo:

    “OHHH!! Ya see that? I just ran the fucker over! AHAAAHAA!”

  46. Mel B Cleavage Minidress Tonight Show
    HandsomeMatt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d knock the spice outta that ass” says that guy behind her

  47. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright OnStar, GIMME ALL YOU GOT! GIMME ALL YOU GOT!!!

  48. David Beckham Brown Slime Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    When they said “Tywin Lannister shits gold” I never believed, but…

  49. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Black Dude Checking Out Ass Instagram
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Something something something, black guy something eyes something.

  50. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Something something skipped legs day something somthin

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