The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.23.14

July 23rd, 2014 // 366 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ll shoot you straight and tell you I’m about to make nothing but anal sex jokes. First, it’s David Beckham learning the hard way why you never turn down John Travolta‘s invite to a Sea Org cruise, then there’s Richard Gere holding a statuette of a tiny, mythical creature of lore that undoubtedly is going right up his ass, and finally, there’s Young Commissioner Gordon doing this, which isn’t necessarily about the difficult brown, but reminds me of when a dog shits and their legs shake and they look at you like “C’mon man, do you have to giggle like that? Jesus.”

Welcome to the awful, infantile prison from which there is no escape that is my mind,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    DOC! DOC! THE FLUX CAPACITOR! 80 MILES PER HOUR! I GOTTA GET BACK TO 1984!!! AW FUCK ME I WASN’T IN BACK TO THE FUTURE!

  2. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    “He’s an absenteeeeeeee valet!”

  3. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When did they become an Aerosmith cover band?

  4. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    Eric
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I get out of this lane they drag me back in.

  5. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Stripper shoes.

  6. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, check it out! I found out where they hid the Ark of the Covenant!”

  7. Paris Hilton Holding Baby Extra
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What a beautiful baby.

    Now stop squirming you little fucker, I’m trying to take a selfie.

  8. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why are there wings on this?”

    “So you don’t put it up your butt, Richard.”

  9. Melanie Griffith Butt Thong See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Bob Saget doesn’t get a mention?

  10. Dean Cain Fat Untucked Shirt A Horse For Summer Premiere
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    (Definitely not) Faster than a speeding Domino’s delivery car…

  11. Prince Charles Jamaican Commonwealth Boxing Team Emirates Arena Chris Hoy Velodrome
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Cool Runnings – you still riding that bobsled?

  12. Joe Jonas Tank Top Hawaiin Shirt
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When you finally come out, I promise to use the same shocked face I used when Ellen Page came out.

  13. Prince Charles Jamaican Commonwealth Boxing Team Emirates Arena Chris Hoy Velodrome
    Commented on this photo:

    “I say…..attempting mugging? HA. Ha. Ha.”

  14. Jaden Smith Hand Kissed By Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Willow?! Willow Ufgood?!”

  15. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    beckystyles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Photoboy, you call him Doctor Jones!”

  16. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Steve Urkel called… he wants his clothes back.

  17. Amber Rose Cleavage Bedazzled Fanny Pack Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    what a mess

  18. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Party People on the right say HOOOOOOOOO!!! OH OOHH oh aw ouch groin pull.

  19. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve gotta admit. I’m loving Kelly with more meat on her bones. She’s still beautiful.

  20. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    I might see these guys in August

  21. Crystal Hefner Bikini Instagram
    Dormant Canadian
    Commented on this photo:

    A group of camels is called a “caravan.” I’m not sure what made me think of that.

  22. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Belly Leather Pants Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like “Thunder” from Big Trouble in Little China

  23. Amber Rose Cleavage Bedazzled Fanny Pack Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye’s trash needs to be taken the the curb already.

  24. Paris Hilton Holding Baby Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    So she finally hit her baby crazy stage. This isn’t going to turn out well for anybody.

  25. Cara Delevingne Bikini Selena Gomez Parasailing
    Commented on this photo:

    *Sigh* it’s tough looking at that this girl that’s totally uninterested in me and would never find me attractive in 1,000 years. Oh, and that lesbian model is pretty hot too.

  26. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I always knew she had a muffin top, but now we know where they’re hiding the nuts. //ZING!

  27. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    the fruits at TMZ were going on about her ‘legs’ like she was a supermodel. I wouldn’t pick my teeth with those things.

  28. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Sunlight Instagram
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Special thanks to the photographer, JJ Abrams.

  29. Katie Price Pegnant Belly Tight Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s still getting this crazy woman pregnant?

  30. Richard Gere Giffoni Film Festival Trophy
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally won that Flying Jackass award he’s been working his whole life towards.

  31. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Jeans ATM
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d definitely like to make a deposit there.

  32. Geri Halliwell Guy Breaking Neck To Check Out
    Commented on this photo:

    Busted. That guy’s got the right idea.

  33. Geri Halliwell Guy Breaking Neck To Check Out
    Commented on this photo:

    In much better shape than Lindsay Lohan and almost 20 years older than she is.

  34. Tallulah Willis Blue Hair Cheetah Print Slippers
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh no, sweetie. Broad daylight just isn’t your thing.

  35. Vince Neil Fat Belly Motley Crue Final Tour Performance
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    And *this* is how the berries got stuck over the twig.

  36. David Beckham Brown Slime Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Pssst…I think King Midas likes you.

  37. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Sunlight Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This was her audition photo from Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

  38. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Evil really does come in the most beautiful packages.

  39. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Belly Leather Pants Heels
    Dirk Diggler
    Commented on this photo:

    Just another baby factory

    • What the fuck’s the matter with you? Why in the hell do you think The Great Kabarlum gave women pussies and wombs for in the first place? (The stupidity of some people is stultifying.)

  40. Jaden Smith Hand Kissed By Dude
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Soon my homeless army will be complete.

  41. Prince Charles Jamaican Commonwealth Boxing Team Emirates Arena Chris Hoy Velodrome
    maoix
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s just say that the Marquess of Queensbury is a relative.”

  42. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Some pretty twigs there.

  43. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh man, another crime we could have maybe solved with the help of some sort of masked vigilante detective!”

    “…so lunch then?”

    “Yeah, fuck it.”

  44. Ben McKenzie Squatting Donal Logue Gotham Set
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Tim Burton’s version of “dick in a box”.

  45. Melanie Griffith Butt Thong See Through Dress
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right boys, a million bucks and I’m yours for the night…no it doesn’t come with a time machine set to 1986, why?”

  46. Paris Hilton Holding Baby Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Fortunately for the world, with a clucky Paris Hilton, it is notoriously difficult to get pregnant with blokes constantly finishing on your face.

  47. Kelly Brook Cleavage Yoga Pants David McIntosh Boner Short Shorts
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “You don’t think I’m fat, do you?”

    “Hulk no think much”

    “I just love the way you cut out the clutter, and focus on the big picture.”

    “Hulk smash bus this morning, kill many people.”

  48. John Stamos
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my God, John, is that Melanie Griffith offering himself to Bob Saget for a million bucks?”

  49. Al Pacino Yelling Behind Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    THIS HIGHWAY IS OUTTA ORDER!
    THIS LANE IS OUTTA ORDER!!
    THIS PAYTOLL IS OUTTA ORDER!!!!!

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