Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the always naturally elegant Brooke Shields, as well as Justin Bieber who’s now sporting a diamond-crusted rape whistle, Julianne Hough after accidentally scratching Ryan Seacrest‘s special edition Blu-Ray of Yentl and finally this Penn Badgley pic that already has your office smelling like patchouli.
Oh nevermind, that’s just ass. Penn Badgley looks like he smells exactly like smelly ass,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Its probably a girl because her face got kind of chubby
It took me a moment to realize you were commenting on the sex of the baby….
macaulay culkin?
I’m addicted to her like she’s addicted to heroin
thats a huge bitch
go to sleep
and never wake up again
Yeah, it’s over.
Stick a fork in it
Girlfriends not looking so perky anymore. Just tired & faded…
sad
Agreed. She used to be so cute.
Hey Adnod, you fugat to dye the beer too!
Hell no, I’m not playing monopoly with you!? Pervert!
Aunt Chichi, is that you?!!!
Pap strat: Put vanilla ice cream in front of the Black Market, and Kim Kardashian should arrive shortly.
There is no “Y” chromosome here.
It’s like she’s gradually just getting hotter. Even with this leprechaun get up. But i would rather eat light bulbs than listen to her music.
Are light bulbs considered vegan?
Oh, definitely! And I’m pretty sure they’re kosher, too.
only if they’re CFL’s
Cock flavored lollypops?
Hot but boooooring. Girl needs to get some character or something.
Right about now, Bobby wishes he were an octopus…
Just the thought of what he had to do to Ryan Seacrest to get that recording contract still makes him throw up a little.
Actually, he just ate something delicious that reminded him of Seacrest.
salty nuts?
She’s carrying it high which I think means it’s a manatee.
Commonly referred to as the ‘sea cow’
They’ll never gets me gold!!
Green sparkle shorts + gay marriage support = rethinking hatred of country music
Nope, I still hate that shit.
If the song isn’t about trains, trucks, drinking, prison or your momma then it ain’t country anyway. Today’s country is just glossy pop crap.
Songs about trains? That’s folk music, city boy!
David Alan Coe – You never even call me by name.
WELL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED STEVE GOODMAN WROTE THAT SONG
AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
I WROTE HIM BACK A LETTER AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG BECAUSE HE HADN’T SAID ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT MAMA,
OR TRAINS,
OR TRUCKS,
OR PRISON,
OR GETTING’ DRUNK
WELL HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE ANOTHER VERSE TO THE SONG
AND HE SENT IT TO ME,
AND AFTER READING IT,
I REALIZED THAT MY FRIEND HAD WRITTEN THE PERFECT
COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
AND I FELT OBLIGED TO INCLUDE IT ON THIS ALBUM
THE LAST VERSE GOES LIKE THIS HERE:
WELL, I WAS DRUNK THE DAY MY MOM GOT OUT OF PRISON
AND I WENT TO PICK HER UP IN THE RAIN
BUT BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE STATION IN MY PICKUP TRUCK
SHE GOT RUN NED OVER BY A DAMNED OLD TRAIN
I’ll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standing in the rain
You don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’
You never even called me by my name!
Yeah, okay, I don’t know shit about country music. :)
Would “Last Train to Clarksville” be considered folk or bubblegum?
btw TF sorry for the caps. I did the ole copy and paste
Steven Tyler: 1987
Is his next role playing a secretly gay Civil War general?
“Call me fat all you want, I cant hear you!!!”
I think she looks good here. I don’t mind a little fat. As long as it’s not Christina Hendricks-like.
Some cruel prankster told her that drinking urine would reverse the aging process.
beat me to it! darn
It’s a scientific fact that clams are very adept at filtering urine.
She’s giving birth to Kim’s ass.
guess that means she’s having twins
She looks like my alcoholic aunt.
I’ll be back–to line dance.
His fashion sense just keeps getting worse and worse
diamond studded whistle?? Nigga please!
Hey, it’s his rape whistle.
No, THAT’S FABulous!
And that ring….looks like something an old man would wear. One with white plastic shoes.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that belly is 20% water, 80% douche
Given who the parents are, that baby is 100% douche.
Yo Yo you gots to see this cowboy hat they got for me, it’s HUGE!
A thought going through that head would one of the quickest trips ever…
Back in the day I ate so much housekeeper pussy my beard looked like a glazed doughnut. When I say back ‘in the day’ I am of course referring to this morning.
Anna PaquinOnnaPounds
That would have been funnier if she wasn’t pregnant.
There’s Prince Charles…about to begin the yearly “Throwing Pennies at the Commoners For Amusement” ceremony…as is the tradition.
If I stare at his shirt long enough I see a sapceship!
If he was stripped, shaved, waxed and taught some tricks I suppose he could be made useful.
Working a half day today?
BTW: MINIMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“And then I’d blow my rape whistle. Like this…”
“Im BACK in the saddle again…Im BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK……”
Cool… I always wanted a vajazzled rape whistle.
So would…
I thought they already cast the remake of “The Munsters?”
I imagine the following exchange in her future:
Doctor: “Well, you’re definitely in labor…you’re already dilated 20cm!”
Snooki: “No, it’s always like that.”
Why is he surreal?
One beard shave and he’s ready for the Travolta biopic….
With all due respect… every time I see her she’s more grotesque than the last time.
He really hates kissing girls, doesn’t he ?
This is the worst I’ve seen Helen Mirren look.
Maybe it’s Maybelline. Nope, cocaine.
I hope the photographer survived.
Moose is that you? Been looking for you since ’86 man how you been!!
Sadly he’s now a statue.
I’ve seen things on top of bonfires put together better than that
No one ever forgets the first marathon they ran while holding a head in a bag.
The only upskirts you’re gonna get on Dita are the ones she allows.