The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 5.28.14

May 28th, 2014 // 343 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that I not only shoved a Final Five into, but also bookended with Kelly Brook, because she’s putting her boobs on Instagram again. It’s been a while since she’s done that and I’m not sure if she was stirred by Monday’s remembrance of our fallen soldiers, but since this country is now in the business of shitstaining the memory of the dead with completely unrelated fantasies, I might as well jump on board. I thank all who have served, particularly in whatever war was fought to preserve Stephen Hawking‘s freedom to watch porn while he’s supposed to be giving a lecture.

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Tom Cruise Talking Into Microphone Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Phenomenal actor, but why can’t he just come out of the closet? It’s 2014. Only religious assholes will give you shit and nobody gives a fuck about them anyway.

    • Because Scientology. It’s an anti-gay religion. I think the Scientology belief that you can “erase” your gayness is why some celebrities join.

      Can’t say more, don’t want the site owner to get sued.

      • Why would he get sued over something you said? That’s not how lawsuits work. Unless you are an employee of this site, are you an employee of this site?

  2. Tom Cruise Talking Into Microphone Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Chris Potter from Kung Fu : The Legend Continues here, and it’s confusing my sleep-deprived brain.

  3. Pamela Anderson Rough Face Messy Hair Cleavage World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Medusa with boobs!

  4. Guy Ritchie Scruffy Beard Pregnant Wife Jacqui Ainsley Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Evidence that it wasn’t Guy’s idea to steal third world babies.

  5. Toni Braxton White Eye Makeup Malfunction Legs Minidress Memoir Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “I hate my God-punishment child!!”

  6. PMariah Carey Cleavage Double Chin World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Still would.

  7. Stephen Hawking Smiling At Computer Screen A Brief History Of How England Can Win The World Cup Findings
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, Brett Rossi, why won’t you be my wife instead? I have money coming out of my barely functional ass and an intellect that can make you come so hard you’ll create a worm whole in your pus- why am I typing all of this into my keyboard during a lecture? Fuck the lot of you for judging me, you uptight cunts. Big Hawk is out.”
    *wheels away*
    “I wish my hands were capable of giving you the finger.”

  8. Eliza Doolittle Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ending thanks.

  9. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    is ‘posting pics on Instagram’ a job in and of itself now? Because if so, I’m getting all over that shit.

  10. Justin Bieber Shitty Moustache Peace Sign
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, have you seen Selena?

  11. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This!

  12. Jeremy Renner Leather Jacket Veni Vici fashion Show Front Row
    Commented on this photo:

    “What? What’s the harm in using a strap on?”

  13. Jeremy Renner Leather Jacket Veni Vici fashion Show Front Row
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why don’t we go back to your room and I’ll play with your ladyballs. Ladies have balls, right?”

  14. Pamela Anderson Rough Face Messy Hair Cleavage World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    No, the $25 hooker wig is back! Gah!!

  15. Jonah Hill Taking Nephew For Frozen Yogurt
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that January Jones’ kid?

  16. Eliza Doolittle Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Doolittle? I could do a LOT!

  17. Pamela Anderson Rough Face Messy Hair Cleavage World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I, I, I’m inconspicuously scratching an itch. Why do you ask?

  18. Idris Elba Directing Young Blonde Actress Unstoppable Short Film Pepsi MAX Beats Of The Beautiful Game Visual Album
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and then, the zombies started dancing like this!”
    “Please stop. I told you five minutes ago that you didn’t need to act out every moment from Michael Jackson’s Thriller. “

  19. Kathleen Turner Posing For Selfie With Little Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    What has she even been in within the last decade that a kid this young would know who she is? Or does she just have awesome parents that let her watch Romancing the Stone instead of Disney shit?

  20. Stephen Hawking Smiling At Computer Screen A Brief History Of How England Can Win The World Cup Findings
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’s having a lip slip.

  21. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what Emily Ratajkowski was looking at yesterday.

  22. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    i didn’t mean it when i called you a whore…i love you , Kelly!

  23. PMariah Carey Cleavage Double Chin World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Her neck cleavage is looking a lot like her chest cleavage.

  24. Jared Leto Skirt Slippers
    Commented on this photo:

    Please someone push this VD truck down those steps. For the good of humanity.

  25. Joe Jonas Walking Behind Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler And Cara Santana
    Commented on this photo:

    Who, meh, who.

  26. Justin Bieber Shitty Moustache Peace Sign
    Commented on this photo:

    If the dictionary ever needs a photo entry for ‘DURR Face’, this is it.

  27. New Kids On The Block London Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve seen dicks this big!”
    “Yummy!”

  28. Pamela Anderson Rough Face Messy Hair Cleavage World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Please stop messing with my past.

  29. Katy Perry Cleavage Bending Over Prismatic Tour London
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how long the boobs can keep supporting her career?

  30. Donald Sterling Awkward Hand Motions Mastros Steakhouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Bottom line to the whole thing: the Clippers still suck.

  31. Jonah Hill Taking Nephew For Frozen Yogurt
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Soon, my child. Soon you will have a mighty figure, like mine. Eat up. Eat …. up.’

  32. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Legs Lingerie Playboy Library Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “And here we are in the Library where Hef used to bang Barbi Benton back before my mom was born.”

  33. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly the Belly!

  34. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She keeps getting better.

  35. Guy Ritchie Scruffy Beard Pregnant Wife Jacqui Ainsley Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Not like a virgin.

  36. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is she taking the photo with, and why does it look like a fish finder?

  37. Pamela Anderson Rough Face Messy Hair Cleavage World Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Iron Maiden’s mascot, formerly known as Eddie, would now like to be known as Edwina.

  38. Tom Cruise Talking Into Microphone Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, I do like to tickle the balls. And if the dressing is just right, I will toss that salad until the edge of tomorrow.

  39. Stephen Hawking Smiling At Computer Screen A Brief History Of How England Can Win The World Cup Findings
    Commented on this photo:

    If his ass itches how does he scratch it?

  40. Justin Bieber Shitty Moustache Peace Sign
    Commented on this photo:

    God I hope he’s spending every last penny of his money so that, by 37, he’s the new Corey Feldman.

  41. Jeremy Renner Leather Jacket Veni Vici fashion Show Front Row
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, and I was in this movie where I’m Hansel and I’m a witch hunter with my sister Gretel.

  42. Idris Elba Directing Young Blonde Actress Unstoppable Short Film Pepsi MAX Beats Of The Beautiful Game Visual Album
    Commented on this photo:

    When do they start fucking? Porn doesn’t need a story, dammit.

  43. Jonah Hill Taking Nephew For Frozen Yogurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m tired of eating ice cream, Uncle Jonah. Can I please have some broccoli?”

    “Shut up! You’ve barely eaten ANY! I’LL tell you when you’re done eating ice cream!”

  44. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    The more pressing questions are; Is Anastasia Assey’s butt photographer a job? Where do I apply?

  45. Joe Jonas Walking Behind Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler And Cara Santana
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up with the fucking hat, Joe?

  46. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what she does for a living.

  47. Tom Cruise Talking Into Microphone Edge Of Tomorrow Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll show you how far I can deep throat this mic 3..2..1..GULP!”

  48. Bill Clinton Greeting Group Of Young Girls Claridges Hotel
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, you don’t look anything like Hillary. I *like* that in a woman.

  49. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Once her ass goes south, her photo career is gone.

  50. New Kids On The Block London Performance
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like an Adam Lambert show.

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