The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 5.21.14

May 21st, 2014 // 367 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we’re already seeing the sharp fall-off of an approaching holiday weekend, and/or the entire paparazzi is busy booking European helicopter rentals for the most beautiful, honest and real wedding of all time. And if you thought that was going to link to the midnight ceremony Fish and I may or may not have had at a True Detective-themed B&B, sorry to disappoint. We’re very private people. Instead, please enjoy this daily offering of spandexed buttocks and the only pic of Maria Menounos‘ face that doesn’t include her butt I will ever put in here. I promise.

There’s a Final Five and a bonus gallery today. It’s our wedding gift to you guys. Enjoy,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Dakota Fanning Creepy Face Butt Tight Pants Night Moves Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s grown up quite nicely. “Double checks age on google, commence fapping”.

  2. Earvin Johnson III Scarf Gay Drink
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, do you like Earvin’s huge breasts too?

  3. Earvin Johnson III Scarf Gay Drink
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, sir, could you not drink the water out of our floral arrangements please?

  4. Jamie Lynn Sigler Cleavage Bra Legs See Through Shirt Bacardi Loud And Untameable Live Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Always thought we’d see her naked by now.

  5. Danica McKellar MIdriff Butt Spandex Dress Dancing With The Stars Season 18 Official Wrap Party
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Heaven help her if I’m ever allowed within 500 feet of her again.

  6. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Kanye West Trenchcoat
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t get it twisted shorty… I will kick the shit out of any of your sisters in the elevator.

  7. Dakota Fanning Creepy Face Butt Tight Pants Night Moves Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. She grew up hot. I definitely would.

  8. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Kanye West Trenchcoat
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    *BARF*

  9. Fawaz Gruosi Hugging Antonio Banderas 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival De Grisogono Party
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice hug, but simply saying “Thanks for leaving Melanie at home” would’ve sufficed.

  10. Bruce Jenner Wrinkly Neck LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “‘Get a haircut,’ they said. ‘It’ll make you feel like a man,’ they said.”

  11. Jennifer Lopez Messy Hair
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Now we finally know what Coolio would’ve looked like as a Hispanic woman.

  12. Sarah Silverman Nipples Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Her tits look fucking great

  13. Macaulay Culkin Scruffy Beard Plaid Shirt Around Waist
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Hipster Jesus.

    Like, save us, dude.

  14. Jennifer Lopez Messy Hair
    OldDirtyPants
    Commented on this photo:

    Cant look directly at her, my penis will fall off.

    But is that Boy George behind her? He looks good!

  15. Maria Menounos Blowjob Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm. Needs to work on that facial expression. I’ve got the tool just for it.

  16. Cara Delevingne Side Boob 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival De Grisogono Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Many models are hot…this one, not so much. What’s up with that?

    • It’s not who you know, it’s who you… lick?

    • Sometimes just a few of the parts are hot enough. Look at Chrissy Teigen or Nina Agdal, both with ugly faces and hot bodies.

    • Nepotism, raging, unadulterated nepotism. This ugly chick would not even be the 100th hottest chick at your local mall or high school. She is the poster child for nepotism.

      • Yeah, I think you’re right, El Jefe.

        From Der Wikipedia:

        “Delevingne was born in London, the daughter of Pandora (née Stevens) and property developer Charles Hamar Delevingne.[6] She attended Bedales School in Hampshire. She has two older sisters, Chloe and model Poppy Delevingne. Condé Nast executive Nicholas Coleridge is Delevingne’s godfather.[9][10][11]
        Delevingne’s maternal grandfather is the former publishing executive and English Heritage chairman Sir Jocelyn Stevens,[6][10] nephew of magazine publisher Sir Edward George Warris Hulton and grandson of newspaper proprietor Sir Edward Hulton, 1st Baronet.[12][13] Her maternal grandmother Janie Sheffield was lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret.[6][14] Her paternal great-grandfather was the Canadian-born British politician Hamar Greenwood, 1st Viscount Greenwood.[5][6]”

        Ok, it makes sense now.

      • Oh it gets better, it used to be on Wikipedia but somehow got erased. Her godfather is the president of Conde Nast International, nuff said. Her godmother is Joan Collins. She has connections and nepotism coming out the ass and every other orifice of her body.

  17. Dakota Fanning Creepy Face Butt Tight Pants Night Moves Premiere
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey now!

  18. Danica McKellar MIdriff Butt Spandex Dress Dancing With The Stars Season 18 Official Wrap Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s evidently smart as a whip but still knows where her money maker is.

  19. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Sand Covered Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d occupy her Golan Heights.

  20. Danica McKellar MIdriff Butt Spandex Dress Dancing With The Stars Season 18 Official Wrap Party
    jerry
    Commented on this photo:

    cankles

  21. Earvin Johnson III Scarf Gay Drink
    Commented on this photo:

    He probably can palm a burrito better than anyone.

  22. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her body.

  23. Jennifer Lopez Messy Hair
    Michael_D
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is this a bad time?”

  24. Coco Lifting Sister Up With Legs Instagram
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I fully support incest in this instance.

  25. Kelsey Grammer Panama Hat Kayte Walsh Bikini Pregnant Belly Balcony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    He should have chosen to toss her salad instead of scrambling her eggs.

  26. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Those ass stretch marks are perfect for getting a good solid grip in certain kama sutra positions.

  27. Anastacia Looking At Womans Butt El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure I saw this in an “instructional video” before.

  28. Coco Lifting Sister Up With Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She puts a lot of work into maintaining her great figure. It definitely shows.

  29. Danica McKellar MIdriff Butt Spandex Dress Dancing With The Stars Season 18 Official Wrap Party
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s twenty years of fantasy right there.

  30. Coco Lifting Sister Up With Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me her sister’s name is “Vanilla”.

  31. Abigail Ratchford Bikini Raquel Rischard Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks great.

  32. Selena Gomez Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche-free. So fresh, so clean.

  33. Abigail Ratchford Bikini Raquel Rischard Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello, nurse! (or nurse substitute).

  34. Abigail Ratchford Bikini Raquel Rischard Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fuck. For real?

  35. Macaulay Culkin Scruffy Beard Plaid Shirt Around Waist
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone’s lobbying hard for the lead in the Kurt Cobain biopic

  36. Abigail Ratchford Bikini Raquel Rischard Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not the surf, it’s me shooting my load from off-camera. I should have aimed higher, but it’s been a while and I’m out of practice.

  37. Hugh Laurie Jumping Split Copper Bottom Band Tour
    jerry
    Commented on this photo:

    At first I thought that was Christopher Walken

  38. Danica McKellar MIdriff Butt Spandex Dress Dancing With The Stars Season 18 Official Wrap Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn Winnie!

  39. Selena Gomez Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “I hope you brought wine coolers.”

  40. Hugh Laurie Jumping Split Copper Bottom Band Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Well sir, I have a silly walk and I’d like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it.

  41. Jennifer Lopez Messy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Seems like someone’s messing with the self-portrait J-Lo has in her antic.

  42. Maria Menounos Blowjob Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Assume the position, Maria.

  43. Adrien Brody Lara Lieto Balcony Make Out Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I skimmed this quickly. Thought is said Adrien Brody and Jared Leto. Works either way.

  44. Petra Nemcova Cleavage Two Days One Night Premiere 67th Cannes Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty certain ManWhoHasSeenAVagina will not approve of this woman…
    Fuck that guy.

  45. Adrien Brody Lara Lieto Balcony Make Out Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Adrien Brody – probably the most successful undercover P.I.M.P. in the whole world.

  46. Mario Lopez Getting Nose Powdered Extra
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wish Jonah Hill would stop kissing the tip of my nose through Channing Tatum’s underwear.”

  47. Selena Gomez Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Still looks like a kid and swims in the shallow end.

  48. Coco Lifting Sister Up With Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t worry CoCo, will get that poop out. Just keep pushing.

  49. Bruce Jenner Wrinkly Neck LAX
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Wacky O.

  50. Maria Menounos Blowjob Face Extra
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a Bell’s Palsy support group.

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