The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.6.11

April 6th, 2011 // 396 Comments

Huh. So he really is a child-eating agent of Satan. Guess I owe Katy Perry’s mom that dollar.

Welcome to the Hump Day edition of The Crap We Missed culled from the finest paparazzi in all the land: David Beckham has a new best friend. Ashley Judd is not aging well, so she’s gonna want to avoid looking at Christie Brinkley. Chloe Moretz can fly and, alright, who reanimated Brittany Murphy’s corpse and sent it to a movie premiere? Was it those singing penguins again? Because murdering her aside, you gotta admit this was funny.

Pleasantly guffawing,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Vin Diesel
    tkb
    Commented on this photo:

    I fucked Paris Hilton this many times before she figured out I’m black.

  2. Jayde Nicole
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    So now we know for sure, “droopy boob syndrome” is a real thing.

  3. Christie Brinkley
    Commented on this photo:

    Gettafuckoutahere Wikipedia. 1954? No way.

  4. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    Commented on this photo:

    The new season of Mythbusters is looking a little gay

  5. Christopher Walken
    Rough, more comforting than your comfort food
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought they were looking for this guy near Rutgers.

  6. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    Commented on this photo:

    If that’s how they wait for the subway I don’t even want to know how they have breakfast.

  7. Christopher Walken
    Commented on this photo:

    So what’s new? Walken was 30 years old for exactly two movies, then he suddenly turned 60 for the rest of his career and life. About 40 years from now, he will die a 60 year old man.

  8. Ashley Judd
    Commented on this photo:

    What the who the how in aaaaaaaah when did this happen????

  9. Jennifer Garner
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s ready for that remake of The Next Karate Kid

  10. Ashley Judd
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Great. Now she’s just another Judd.

  11. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s her O face. It’s the face she makes when her husband reaches an orgasm. How, when, and in whom we shall probably never know but, hey – that face.

  12. Joe Jonas
    Rough, more comforting than your comfort food
    Commented on this photo:

    Gracefulness of an ostrich this kid. Keep trying JJ.

  13. Jennifer Garner
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a not-quite-finished Alias puzzle.

  14. Chloe Moritz
    JR
    Commented on this photo:

    Chloe Moretz is an actress who has been in over 30 movies and TV episodes. She co-starred in “Let Me In” as a vampire and stole the show as an assassin in “Kick-Ass”. She recently finished filming Martin Scorsese’s latest and has numerous projects lined up.

  15. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s it. “Out”. That’s the explanation we get.
    For the lack of shoes. And the oversized yarmulke. And the crappiest sidewalk north of the Rio Grande.

  16. Katie Holmes
    The Laughing G-D
    Commented on this photo:

    The signal she makes to the others, when she runs into someone who is not a pod person.

  17. Ashley Judd
    Sen
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to love seeing her tits get rocked in flicks.

    Now she’s on the wrong side of the milf tracks..

  18. Christie Brinkley
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    On the hunt for billionaire husband #14.

  19. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s wrong with her face?

  20. Jayde Nicole
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is she?

  21. Chloe Moritz
    The Laughing G-D
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like what happens to women when they are on top and don’t get off before I climax.

  22. Vin Diesel
    The Laughing G-D
    Commented on this photo:

    Are there any statements from him regarding the Paris racist event?

  23. Chloe Moritz
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Sokay guys, this is how she moves from point A to point B. This is an awesome kid, walking is for noobzors.

  24. Russell Brand
    Bangbang
    Commented on this photo:

    Carrot head dyed his hair black?

  25. Greta Gerwig
    Jon and Kate Plus Hate
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I missing something here, this is just an old photo of Brittany Murphy right. She’s dead I think.

  26. Greta Gerwig
    Commented on this photo:

    Not crazy about her whiter shade of pale but ‘em puppies are sweet.

  27. Katie Holmes
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    *hiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss*

  28. Vin Diesel
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris Hilton’s vagina is this wide. Did I say vagina? I meant carry-on.

  29. Katie Holmes
    Feetsthss
    Commented on this photo:

    All the grace of the real Jackie O.

  30. Christie Brinkley
    Artie Fatbuckle
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Joel is the stupidest sonofabitch on the planet.

  31. Greta Gerwig
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re supposed to put a little blush on the dead BEFORE the wake.

  32. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    I really thought it was Alan Cumming at first. There’s probably a Jonas Brothers-Are-Gay joke in there somewhere, but I don’t have the energy.

  33. Doing his best Michael Jackson impression…

  34. Jayde Nicole
    Crick
    Commented on this photo:

    She’ll never fit in whoville with those shoes.

  35. Christopher Walken
    Vagina Dentata
    Commented on this photo:

    Katie Couric just cannot catch a break in this town lately.

  36. Greta Gerwig
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like Brittney Murphys face and Heidi Montags jawline had a baby

  37. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing his plastic covering….Joe is ready for his Bukaki scene

  38. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    Killer sleeve tattooooooh wait never mind….

  39. Ashley Judd
    Vagina Dentata
    Commented on this photo:

    A childhood spent getting fisted by Wynonna is really starting to show on Ash.

  40. David Beckham
    David
    Commented on this photo:

    umm, this is my OTHER man-b*tch

  41. Katie Holmes
    Uncle Rodney
    Commented on this photo:

    “Skin them!”

  42. Katie Holmes
    Frank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Release the Kraken!”

  43. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    ….and over here we have Zachary Quinto, preparing for his role as Amy Winehouse in “Crotch rot”….and to our right….

  44. Katie Holmes
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing she is describing Tom’s reaction that time he accidently saw her nude.

  45. Juliette Lewis
    lori
    Commented on this photo:

    She still thinks she’s 13.

  46. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    Butter-face!

  47. Chloe Moritz
    Commented on this photo:

    explosive diarrhea is no joke!

  48. Christopher Walken
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking for More Cowbells no doubt

  49. Vin Diesel
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I take two dildos in the ass…TWO!”

  50. Katie Holmes
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    Must not have taken her morning dose of Penis Gummy Bears

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