The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.6.11

April 6th, 2011 // 396 Comments

Huh. So he really is a child-eating agent of Satan. Guess I owe Katy Perry’s mom that dollar.

Welcome to the Hump Day edition of The Crap We Missed culled from the finest paparazzi in all the land: David Beckham has a new best friend. Ashley Judd is not aging well, so she’s gonna want to avoid looking at Christie Brinkley. Chloe Moretz can fly and, alright, who reanimated Brittany Murphy’s corpse and sent it to a movie premiere? Was it those singing penguins again? Because murdering her aside, you gotta admit this was funny.

Pleasantly guffawing,

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Christopher Walken
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead man Walken.

  2. Christie Brinkley
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Clark Griswold crashing through the security barrier in his station wagon?

  3. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    After catching her husband cheating with a Bieber cutout, Victoria immediately went in for plastic surgery to have one of her dimensions removed.

  4. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got midichlorians up her nose. Wait, wrong fake religion…

  5. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    Barefoot is no way to be seen coming and going from the weed spot, son.

  6. Christie Brinkley
    Commented on this photo:

    Fake boobs get progressively more disgusting as the chick ages but her boobs don’t. It confuses my boner…trust me, nobody wants that.

  7. Christie Brinkley
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Gosh, I hope the next photo is of half-her-age Lindsay (TM) looking like twice-her-age Lindsay (RIP).

  8. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    Commented on this photo:

    I always assumed that this was how gay guys kissed, but I figured I was just being homophobic. Turns out they really ARE gross.

  9. Zachary Quinto
    American Bandersnatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Cleverly hiding his pointy ears!

  10. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    What you can’t see is the huge mound of coke on the center console that made her face look like that.

  11. Vin Diesel
    Commented on this photo:

    Off camera: Paris Hilton crossing the street

  12. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Sylar lost all his powers and looking less like a heroe these days.

  13. Greta Gerwig
    Commented on this photo:

    No better comment than the one in the post. Dead on sir.

  14. Katie Holmes
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Allergies are a fake medical condition,,,,I’m not gonna sneeze, I’m not gonna sneeze!”

  15. Chloe Moritz
    Commented on this photo:

    Cotton Eyed Joe just walked over her grave.

  16. Christopher Walken
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s ironic that as female actresses age, they become haggard and less valuable, but male actors become more distinguished and more marketable.

    This isn’t a case of that, Walken just looks awful.

  17. Jennifer Garner
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Rewind! Rewind!!!

  18. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit, I stepped on a…sorry mom.”

  19. Jayde Nicole
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm. It looks like Janice Dickinson has turned a new leaf since Celebrity Rehab.

  20. Katie Holmes
    HateYerFace
    Commented on this photo:

    pure awesomeness!

  21. Greta Gerwig
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, you sick fuck, you

  22. Jennifer Garner
    awhitedude
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she looks really good here

  23. Ashley Judd
    Commented on this photo:

    I haven’t seen that much coke dusting someone’s face since Tony Montana was introducing his little friend.

    • Ron Burgundy

      Yeah. She’s totally motorboating that shit. I guess when you get a little older you just say “eff the straw…”.

  24. Russell Brand
    HateYerFace
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Jackson!

  25. Juliette Lewis
    Commented on this photo:

    “but what if I PAID you….would you strip search me then?”

  26. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Awe…even her rage face is cute!

  27. Chloe Moritz
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, 14-year-olds didn’t wear glass dildos to work when I was that age.

  28. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he have a trainer in his pants?

  29. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    “Guy with ability to walk barefoot on hot sidewalk” just shot to the top of Sylars “to murder next” list.

  30. Greta Gerwig
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ. I hope they didn’t bury the fat fuck who killed her in the same pet cemetery.

  31. BigL

    I guess he’ll take whatever he can get!

  32. Vin Diesel
    Gavagai
    Commented on this photo:

    Problem solved: he’s Mexican.

  33. Christopher Walken
    Taxicab
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta have more cowbell!

  34. Greta Gerwig
    Commented on this photo:

    Always knew (hoped) the Zombie Apocalypse would start in Hollywood…

  35. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    One of her eyes is bigger than the other…and her forehead is bigger than her head, I don’t even know how that’s possible.

  36. Chloe Moritz
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew this would happen. First Justin Bieber learned to levitate…now other young people I never heard of. Being old sucks, this is skateboards all over again!

  37. Christie Brinkley
    dudeman
    Commented on this photo:

    nice

  38. Christie Brinkley
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure she slams snake venom.

  39. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Just typical subway shenannigans

  40. Christopher Walken
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Walken has looked like this for 30 years.
    Charlie Sheen only thinks he has tiger blood, he’s going to look worse than this in 3 years.

  41. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t even wanna see STRAIGHT people doing this. Only people allowed to do this are me and my dog. Yes my dog is “people”.

  42. Katie Holmes
    M3Essential
    Commented on this photo:

    she just found Tommy’s mustache porn stash. . .

  43. Katie Holmes
    Zombie Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    She just smelled Tom’s girl-fart

  44. Jesse Tyler Ferfuson
    Commented on this photo:

    FYI, for you “my dog is people” chicks…we all assume you’re having sex with your dog.

  45. Christie Brinkley
    tkb
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere she has a painting that is hanging on her wall and aging.

  46. Katie Holmes
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ewww, Kathy Griffin needs a tan”

  47. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s okay, he’s used to sleep nest to a cut-out of a woman anyway.

  48. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    Er, that was “next” y’all.

  49. Ashley Judd
    tkb
    Commented on this photo:

    The new poor little rich girl.

  50. Jayde Nicole
    Ron Burgundy
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Dan Aykroyd in that one scene from Spies Like Us.
    You know which one I’m talkin’ bout.

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