In the land of Sad Keanu, Giant Sad Philip Seymour Hoffman is king.
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Joey Lawrence who knows the importance of a strong male figure in a kid’s life as well as Coco, who knows exactly what we’re all on this Internet thing for, and oh look, the producers of The Client List finally found a way to keep Jennifer Love Hewitt away from the craft services table constant rush of handsome, single men who’s pockets are overflowing with pre-selected engagement rings.
“Seriously, this bitch is crazy.” – The baby locked in the cage with her,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
The kid from The Goonies turned into a grizzled prospector so slowly that we never even noticed until it was too late.
“How much money have I made from this signing?”
“You’re getting $10 per book, and you’ve signed 200 books.”
“…………..”
“What? You mean someone else already came up with a twelve inch pianist joke? Fine – I’ll just drown my sorrows in this bottle of mustard.”
my interest was waning from the start but it has once again piqued.
I just piqued a little in my pants too.
Awh, come on honey, let’s let him have the kid for a while. I mean, what could possibly go wrong–he’s Joey Lawrence.
Mmm…two times the two times the ass!
Somewhere in New York, a cop is having to make the toughest phone call of his career to some poor photographer’s wife.
Yawn.
What a stupid no talent ugly bitch. That was the nice things I have to say about this skank.
Hi – I’m David Duchovney in 40 pounds.
I wonder if even his family hates his guts.
Damn man, that’s harsh and my posts are filled with violence, sex, sexual violence, generalized misogyny, and a splash of latent racism.
I guess what I’m saying is: +1
Ahhahahahaha!! :oD
Is it Easter already?
It’s Lily Munster in negative.
When scientists say there is a chance we have been visited by alien lifeforms, they never said we would like it.
Nipple.
Most people make decisions with an angel on one shoulder and the devil on another. Philip Seymour Hoffman only has Sad Keanu Reeves to work with, I can’t imagine wanting to live a life like that.
He signs his autographs under the alias Moe Lester.
I loled for a full minute. Good one.
First thing I saw – Ursula from Little Mermaid.
… on meth.
Well, we ARE at the circus…
I would spend my last money to buy a video of twin Kim’s doing an ass to ass double-ended dildo porn scene. MY LAST MONEY I TELL YA !
I’m With you!!
Fuck that… I’d pirate it. There’s no way I’m giving that piss-whore one red cent of my money.
sploosh.
He’s trying to rival the city of the same name in size.
I would also be a Sad Keanu if I had to sit on Philip Seymour Hoffman’s fingers.
She doesn’t need those horizontal stripes….we already understand that it’s a mile wide.
Damn, this is the last time I schedule a “boys night out” when I’m drunk.
Hair done, nails done, everything did…
She looks like a Barbie and a Bratz Doll melted together.
more like a monster high doll
Vagina.
Poosy.
Brilliant! Well played.
Who the hell is following this woman on Twitter? I’m not particularly interested in her and I run into stories about her everywhere. Are they also following “Sunlight” and “Oxygen”?
Damn, I would do things to that ass that would end up killing me.
Sitting under it?
That’s on the list, yes.
Does instagram have photoshop?
Not present: flaccid penises.
Keanu made more money of those damn Matrix movies than I ever will. Well, at least I’ve got this voodoo doll.
George Michael is that you?
My thinking exactly…his base isn’t going to like that.
All the narcissism in her brain squeezed all the other thoughts out.
Somewhere in Europe there’s a Russian pimp wondering where his necklace went.
As the photo shows Philip and Tom Cruise remained close after Mission Impossible.
He’s on his way to the courthouse to file child support paperwork against his baby daddy. And by baby daddy, I mean Mark Wahlberg.
Finally her ass split like an amoeba creating an exact copy.
“You had me at crystal!”
Collectively, I’m sure they’ll be able to conjure up a moment of hilarity. Not really.
First thought – sexual harassment panda
What does her necklace say?.
“Biohazard”
OCD strikes again: I had to know. It says KatieGirl (as in “The Way We Were”/that “Sex and the City” episode that divided women into Simple Girls and Katie Girls). And … there go a few more brain cells that will never be used to cure cancer or broker world peace.
“This Lauren Conrad chick sounds neat. I’d love to meet her some time.”
“What do you mean there’s no dollar menu at Spago’s?”
You know what’s eerie? I can actually hear him saying that.
Red light!
She needs to drop the whole “Roman Zolansky” thing which is just really f-cked up. This girl is one album away from a 5150 evaluation.
Feta?
Clits are so easy to find…
Just how ugly is that baby ?