The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 3.5.14

March 5th, 2014 // 460 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature where I make wildly untrue speculations like this one about how Alec Baldwin raids trash cans now (Sound familiar?) or this one about Ashton Kutcher who haha, what? No, babe, he just thought he recognized that girl from the gym or something, but no, that’s not…oh maybe she works at Starbucks, yeah he’s pretty sure he’s seen her there anyway, why would she wear jeans that tight? Like who even wants to see that?

Fellas, let me know how that conversation plays out, I’ll be over here deleting ‘WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, YOU FUCK?!’ emails from my inbox,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    “Drive faster, McFly.”

  2. Joe Simpson Man Sitting On Lap Naluda Magazine March Issue Launch Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Where swinger parties, go to die.

  3. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    Laredo
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice legs, perfect body, so-so tits, and then that face…baaaarffff.

  4. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody just gave her a sugar cube.

  5. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    The YKK on her zipper is failing.

  6. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I would shake like a twig

  7. Duo Fusion 2014 Theatre Development Fund Gala Performance
    Hubba Hubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Will he fit?

  8. Joe Simpson Man Sitting On Lap Naluda Magazine March Issue Launch Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how many guys he’s fucked, he’s probably been going crazy

  9. Tiger Woods Lower Back Stretch 13th Green The Honda Classic PGA Final Round
    lawn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eat your heart out, Hamm!”

  10. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    If I hung out with Leo and this is all I could pull, I’d kill myself.

  11. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    Laredo
    Commented on this photo:

    Tiger blood?

  12. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad idea to drop some Slo-Mo, right before the premier.

  13. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then, whatever Lakers girl I pointed to at halftime, usually their friend would sneak over and give me her number. Then we’d do coke all night and I’d rawdog her at 6 in the morning. Im so glad Im over that period in my life now, though…..these fries are great, right?”

  14. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Werewolves could only transform at night.

  15. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    So Lannisters don’t shit gold after all.

  16. Duo Fusion 2014 Theatre Development Fund Gala Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me, but I’m pretty sure you’re doing doggy-style the wrong way. *looks out on front lawn* Yep, I’m very sure now.

  17. Coolio Holding Mask Eleven Paris Party
    Blarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Who on the party committe said “we must have Coolio at our party! Fly in Coolio!”??

  18. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    “What can I try at this point Jonah?! I tried the Shocker, and I even dressed like a fucking giant Cinnabon!” (begins weeping)

    “………..Leo…”

  19. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    She does look hot most of the time but then she poses like this and you realize she has Quentin Tarantino’s face.

  20. Chelsea Handler Ronan Farrow Pointing At Tits 92nd Street Y Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler And Ronan Farrow
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Ellen’s getting *all* the pussy after hosting the Oscars!

  21. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who am I? Why do I exist? What is the meaning of life? Oh, what the hell I’m I thinking? I’m banging Pamela Anderson – Thats all I need to know.”

  22. Alexander Skarsgard Holding Poster LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Never goes anywhere without his case of pregnancy tests.

  23. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This comment section is full of win. Is he playing the humpback in this movie?

  24. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    These two look like their desperate to score a fix.

  25. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t fool me, I’d still bend you over the sofa.

  26. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs
    Blarf
    Commented on this photo:

    His boobs make me sad :’(

  27. Chris Evans Full Beard Backwards Hat
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s pretty bad when you’re stealing bark.

  28. Joe Jonas Gay Waldo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shia just doesnt get it man, with those pants…?”

    “What a loser. By the way, I haven’t felt my penis for the past 6 hours.”

  29. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny thing is it’s wearing the sunglasses at night underneath it all that make her look like a douchebag.

  30. Coolio Holding Mask Eleven Paris Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is he holding Rey Mysterio’s mask?

  31. Teri Hatcher Tank Top Yoga Pants
    RJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that bulge her penis or her balls?

  32. Joe Jonas Gay Waldo
    kevin kenish from connecticut
    Commented on this photo:

    HA HA HA HA!!

  33. Eric Roberts Wife Eliza Roberts
    Commented on this photo:

    I like this guy.

  34. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bending Over Taking Off Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    If I was A Rod or whoever the hell else pulls pussy like its nothing, I would pursue her endlessly.

  35. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the first frame of a chameleon snatching an insect from a branch, in slo-mo.

  36. Rafael Nadal Outdoor Shower With Another Man Cancun
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s only gay if we lock eyes.”

  37. Ashanti Cleavage Open Blouse Apple Store Album Promotional Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Coffee farts…it should be expected.

  38. Jared Leto Scarf High Fashion Shoes LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    I literally LOLed at this pic.

  39. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    papaschmurfenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ashton if you don’t let me f*&k her first, I’ll cut your d*&k off and send it back to Demi.”

  40. Christopher Meloni Heisenberg Hat Goatee Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    He want from catching pedos on TV to looking like one.

  41. Rafael Nadal Outdoor Shower With Another Man Cancun
    papaschmurfenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope, still not quite Jon Hamm

  42. Ashanti Cleavage Open Blouse Apple Store Album Promotional Event
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    So when is Apple going to start suing everyone after patenting iCoffee, iMugs, and iAshanti?

  43. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    If the top of my head, was 2″ smaller diameter
    than the bottom of my head, I’d wear a hat.

  44. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll give him this. He hasn’t stopped smiling since the birth of his kid.

  45. Rihanna Cleavage Thigh High Tights Miu Miu Show Fashion Week Paris
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn even with all those clothes on I can still see one of her stupid tats.

  46. Ashanti Cleavage Open Blouse Apple Store Album Promotional Event
    papaschmurfenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    And now, the new iSpread, inspired by Basic Instinct. Wait for it…wait for it…

  47. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    So I guess he has completely given up on the whole weight loss thing?

  48. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    papaschmurfenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone call Chris Hansen. She’s gotta be that kid’s 8th grade teacher.

  49. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “I always wanted to shove my junk, into a Rubbermaid.”

  50. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Drundel
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, who didn’t the person driving was a guy at first glance?

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