The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 3.5.14

March 5th, 2014 // 460 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature where I make wildly untrue speculations like this one about how Alec Baldwin raids trash cans now (Sound familiar?) or this one about Ashton Kutcher who haha, what? No, babe, he just thought he recognized that girl from the gym or something, but no, that’s not…oh maybe she works at Starbucks, yeah he’s pretty sure he’s seen her there anyway, why would she wear jeans that tight? Like who even wants to see that?

Fellas, let me know how that conversation plays out, I’ll be over here deleting ‘WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, YOU FUCK?!’ emails from my inbox,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Hey Now
    Commented on this photo:

    How is this not Lara Flynn Boyle after yet another spectacular plastic surgery failure?

  2. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like he was punched above the ears so many times that his skull became indented and pushed his eyes together

  3. Rihanna Cleavage Thigh High Tights Miu Miu Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah we all laugh, and I’m sure she’s laughing, too (although you are laughing at her clothes, while she is laughing at how her clothes cost more than your car).

  4. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing she was the only one there.

  5. Rihanna Cleavage Thigh High Tights Miu Miu Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    Weird ass perspective tricks or the horde of little people is coming as prophesied.

  6. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes that not pretty is it, again why are people taking pictures of her?

  7. Coolio Holding Mask Eleven Paris Party
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Coolio Libre bitches

  8. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the look of dawning horror – she must have just realized who she was fucking.

  9. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    still would

  10. Ashanti Cleavage Open Blouse Apple Store Album Promotional Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely look better than she did yesterday.

  11. Goldie Hawn Drunk Messy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, Goldie still looking fine . .

  12. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion … He’s on his final hole. He’s about 455 yards away, he’s gonna hit about a 2 iron I think … it’s in the hole!”

  13. Chelsea Handler Ronan Farrow Pointing At Tits 92nd Street Y Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler And Ronan Farrow
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Ronan… you could do so much better.

    • MarketingMike

      Ronan, your dad must be turning in his grave right now.
      Run, don’t walk away, from that crusty hag.

  14. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    Michelle Rodriguez? I thought it was Shia LaBeouf

  15. Jared Leto Scarf High Fashion Shoes LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    An Oscar, a scarf AND a camel toe!
    He’s a triple threat.

  16. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Not if you had ALL the money, cowboy.”

  17. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    At least Ben Affleck was married before he let Jennifer Garner start whipping his ass.

  18. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he is about to cup someones Balls

  19. Christopher Meloni Heisenberg Hat Goatee Lakers Game
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Now if you ladies will excuse me, I’m going to go fuck my refridgerator…

  20. Teri Hatcher Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Superman cant even save that.

  21. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave him alone lady. Can’t you see he’s depressed? He lost something very important on Sunday. An excuse to hang out with Leo.

  22. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    His wig explains were all the Kiss money went

  23. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang, never thought I’d see Mr. Peanut go out without his top hat and monocle . . .

  24. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    As I’ve been saying all along…

  25. DJ Irie Donald Trump The Opening Drive Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re who? Whatever, just get me that goddamn scotch and soda like I asked you or you’re fired.”

  26. Tiger Woods Lower Back Stretch 13th Green The Honda Classic PGA Final Round
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can really go for an average looking pornstar right now.”

  27. Teri Hatcher Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta stay fit for her three remaining fans.

  28. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Pauley Shore looks okay in a wig and a blurred lines suit.

  29. Joe Jonas Gay Waldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet he still hasn’t found his way out of the closet.

  30. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Did somebody say “Beetlejuice” 3 times?

  31. Joe Simpson Man Sitting On Lap Naluda Magazine March Issue Launch Party
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Anybody in that picture straight?

  32. Chelsea Handler Ronan Farrow Pointing At Tits 92nd Street Y Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler And Ronan Farrow
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait…. your dad is WHO now?”

  33. Alexander Skarsgard Holding Poster LAX
    Ken
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks just like this, only whiter.

  34. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen a black Brillo pad before.

  35. Chelsea Handler Ronan Farrow Pointing At Tits 92nd Street Y Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler And Ronan Farrow
    Commented on this photo:

    Chelsea slimmed down nicely. Still a raging bitch though.

  36. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    jeez looking grotesque

  37. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bending Over Taking Off Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Everybody poops.

  38. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL who used the warp tool?

  39. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, yes, YES! THAT is how I can exploit her!

  40. Teri Hatcher Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, by the way, they’re real…and they’re no longer spectacular.

  41. Chris Evans Full Beard Backwards Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    “Captain America: The First Hipster Douchebag”

  42. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when all your botox expires on the same day.

  43. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Wrong Rusky
    Commented on this photo:

    Tell you what, if I were some other girl, I wouldn’t want Mila
    zeroing in on me, no way. Too many Russian connections.

  44. DJ Irie Donald Trump The Opening Drive Party
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what Trump’s doing here? He’s feeling Irie.

  45. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    You said my name, you owe me money.

  46. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was a picture of my penis wearing a tie.

  47. Duo Fusion 2014 Theatre Development Fund Gala Performance
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    Gee fish, you have very big, uh EYES

  48. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dipping for Disease”, this week’s 60 minutes covers
    the onslaught of Hep C in America.

  49. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Please allow my tongue, to be your toilet. I feel so dirty…but, in good way. Take off that white wig, and stop judging!!

  50. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Canudigit
    Commented on this photo:

    Revisit her love scene in 300…..she has a couple of nice bumps to go with that rash!

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