The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 3.5.14

March 5th, 2014 // 460 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature where I make wildly untrue speculations like this one about how Alec Baldwin raids trash cans now (Sound familiar?) or this one about Ashton Kutcher who haha, what? No, babe, he just thought he recognized that girl from the gym or something, but no, that’s not…oh maybe she works at Starbucks, yeah he’s pretty sure he’s seen her there anyway, why would she wear jeans that tight? Like who even wants to see that?

Fellas, let me know how that conversation plays out, I’ll be over here deleting ‘WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, YOU FUCK?!’ emails from my inbox,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Eddie Furlong was in jail.

  2. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I know they all do product placement in pap pics, but I think Fashion by Rumer has gone a little too far.

  3. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Dirty Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    And of course she’s texting while driving. Brilliant.

  4. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Profile few looks pretty goddamn Alecky.

  5. Christopher Meloni Heisenberg Hat Goatee Lakers Game
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Elliot Heisenberg.

  6. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    “Leave me alone, can’t you see Leo is missing me?!”

  7. Duo Fusion 2014 Theatre Development Fund Gala Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes I question your commitment to Duo Fusion.

  8. Candice Swanepoel Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  9. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    “This whole set is full of rude, thoughtless pigs.”

  10. Ireland Baldwin Texting While Driving Boyfriend Slater Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    When she dresses down, she dresses down. Thick ass glasses and her hair’s in a bun.

  11. Rihanna Cleavage Thigh High Tights Miu Miu Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not half bad with the NCIS cosplay thing.

  12. Joe Simpson Man Sitting On Lap Naluda Magazine March Issue Launch Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sweety, can you please leave? You’re vag-blocking me here….”

  13. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Best she’s looked in years.

  14. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    It only makes sense that she’s taking fashion cues from Pussy Riot.

  15. Tiger Woods Lower Back Stretch 13th Green The Honda Classic PGA Final Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he propping up that club with his dick?

  16. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    At first I was disappointed with her choice but now I just want to count down to the day he cheats on her with some hotel maid…

  17. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is it still behind me?”

  18. Joe Simpson Man Sitting On Lap Naluda Magazine March Issue Launch Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t he a Pastor or some other church official?

  19. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She makes this face any time she bumps into Dinklage.

  20. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Speculation as to the brand of vodka in that bottle?

  21. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Mila: “Eyes forward, motherfucker.”

    AK: “Yes ma’am.”

  22. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “You fuckin’ faggots! You haven’t separated the recyclables from the regular garbage.”

  23. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    Giving him a taste of his own medicine, Leo hires an annoying little bitch to fawn over Jonah all day.

  24. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wondered what a Klingon would look like in a suit jacket.

  25. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now, where’s my career?”

  26. Michelle Rodriguez Black Face Mask Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Cara’s into some kinky shit.

  27. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Commented on this photo:

    I would think Leo’s leftovers would be better looking.

  28. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s worse, banging the skank Paris Hilton or baging the skank Pamela Anderson?

  29. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    I hear the Chariots of Fire theme, as I visualize The Hoff running towards a Wendy’s in slow motion.

  30. Joe Jonas Gay Waldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay Waldo… Classic…

  31. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn it, Mila. You can do better than this.

  32. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she having a stroke?

  33. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    o'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    “The rash? Oh, just a motorboating accident.”

  34. Tito Ortiz Wonky Eye 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He thought 300 was about how many men his wife took in a single sitting.

  35. Tiger Woods Lower Back Stretch 13th Green The Honda Classic PGA Final Round
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Bringing back the ‘Lean Back’ move in an attempt to remind people about the last time he was good

  36. Duo Fusion 2014 Theatre Development Fund Gala Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish has got some huge tits.

  37. Rihanna Cleavage Thigh High Tights Miu Miu Show Fashion Week Paris
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL. Ganja has rotted that bitch’s brain.

  38. Gene Simmons Weird Hand Signals 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like that scene in The Matrix where Neo is moving around under Smith’s skin before exploding him from the inside.

  39. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    Rick’s having a flashback of pussy past. “Oh, Paris. Damnit, Shannen!”

  40. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry Jonah, but my tits used to be this big until the first time you climbed onto me and did the wild thing. Now look at them. They’re smashed flat. LOOK AT THEM!”

  41. Ashton Kutcher Checking Out Chicks Ass In Front Of Mila Kunis Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    I see that look in her eyes. She knows EXACTLY what he’s trying to catch a glance of.

  42. Chelsea Handler Ronan Farrow Pointing At Tits 92nd Street Y Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler And Ronan Farrow
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Ronan, who excuses racist tweets by saying they date black people so it’s all good?

  43. Teri Hatcher Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes.

  44. Chris Evans Full Beard Backwards Hat
    JM
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Bro, where’s the coin slot on this meter?

  45. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “So when’s Leo bringing your Oscar over, Jonah? You said you just loaned it to him so he could pretend to be a serious actor like you. It seems like he’s had it long enough. Right, Jonah? Right?’

  46. Lea Michele Mouth Open Tongue Out Louder Album Signing Sony Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Lea! Lea Michele! What would you like to say to people who didn’t think you could milk Monteith’s death for all it was worth?”

  47. Jared Leto Scarf High Fashion Shoes LAX
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    SMH. What’s wrong with you, boy?

  48. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking for future job prospects.

  49. Lena Headey Stroke Mouth 300 Rise Of An Empire Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Lena. Remember the the time Gerard asked you to join him in the port-o-john?”

  50. Alexander Skarsgard Holding Poster LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    On his way to impregnate all of Europe.

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