The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 3.26.14

March 26th, 2014 // 385 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m gonna cut right to the chase and tell you that weird-ass TV show El Hormiguero somehow got David Hasselhoff to shove his face in a guy’s bare ass. Does this man poop Big Macs? Is there a liquor store in his colon? I know I should probably be at least reference Skeeter McNasty‘s wet work fetish up there, or how a would-be heroic cab driver could have saved me from ever having to watch Two For The Money, but when you get The Hoff all up in some man butt without even a strategically placed (Yes, dangling from testicles, duh.) beer can on a string, you get all my attention.

Hey brain? Let’s never consciously uncouple from this beautiful image, for the childrens’ sake,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Serena Williams Surprised Face Sony Ericsson Open
    Commented on this photo:

    She missed Conan, smashed her racket into a column, and dropped a huge stone snake sculpture on top of Ben Johnson’s head.

    It’s the Riddle of Tennis.

  2. Serena Williams Surprised Face Sony Ericsson Open
    charlesatlas
    Commented on this photo:

    Impressive to hold titles in both tennis and bench pressing.

  3. Stacy Keibler Nipples Legs Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I like that shirt.

  4. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty See Through Dress Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Reggie just opened the door on the ice cream truck.

  5. Miley Cyrus Butt Spitting Water On Fans Instagram
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    What if it’s actually a small cluster of sub-atomic particles, somehow rendered visible to the human eye, jizzing into her face?

  6. Serena Williams Surprised Face Sony Ericsson Open
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Even with the dopey look and tree trunk legs, she looks better than Kim K did in that see through dress.

  7. Janice Dickinson Discolored Face Weird Cheekbone
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Jenner’s transformation has gotten out of hand.

  8. Peter Dinklage Fingerless Gloves The Late Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Heil Dinklage!

  9. David Hasselhoff Staring At Guys Bare Ass El Hormiguero
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “I used to make Pamela Anderson do this every Thursday on the Baywatch set.”

  10. Kate Gosselin Bitchface Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have 8 kids! Yup! 8 of them! And you’re telling me I don’t know how to serve pie? You mothefucker don’t even have big enough balls to make so many babies!”
    “So would you say your ex, Jon Gosselin, has very big balls?”
    “…”

  11. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bra Perfume Ad Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What perfume? I only see tits.

  12. Billy Crystal Shoving Sandwich Into Mouth Clippers Game
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    When on a diet, just lick your food, don’t swallow it.

  13. Robin Thicke Gold Microphone EXPRESS Times Square Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that he doesn’t have to pretend to be faithful, he can openly take advantage of all that “Blurred Lines” pussy.

    • Has he ever done another song? Blurred Lines is the only thing I’ve ever heard him sing. And while it has a nice beat, without the naked women it’s relatively ho-hum. I’ll give it a 65, Dick.

  14. Peter Dinklage Fingerless Gloves The Late Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why arbitrary outrage over blatant bigotry is so ridiculous. Peter can throw the Nazi salute any time he wants, but Mel Gibson goes on one anti-Jewish rant and he…okay, two, two anti-Jewish…three? Whatever, the point is, average height white guys can’t…wait…how many? Really? You know what, nevermind. Sieg heil, Peter. Sieg heil.

  15. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    She has red eyes, clearly she’s a Terminator and he’d totally do her.

  16. Nick Offerman Bending Over For Photograhers The Late Show
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Lexus sales just went up 200%, predominantely by Kentucky woodsmen.

  17. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Datz a nice outfit. It’ll look even betta crumpled up on my bedroom floor in da morning.”

  18. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, though. I love her shape. Totally would. That’s a tall drink of water.

  19. Jada Pinkett Smith Red Bangs Gotham Set
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    My sincere apologies to Jaden and Willow Smith for making fun of them and their douchy ways. Their disorder is obviously genetic. Sorry.

  20. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    There comes a time, pimp, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the governor’s mansion becomes a prison, and all that is left is an Austrian’s love for a big, juicy ass.

  21. Prince Charles Photobombed By Little Kid
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, you remeember the plan, right? I get Mum into the hallway, and then you all cough, sneeze or just wipe something all over her.”

  22. Kira Dikhtyar Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  23. January Jones Butt Tight Jeans
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s funny because she parked in front of a Glacier water dispenser

  24. Kate Gosselin Bitchface Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you ever smelled my fingers, motherfucker? I’ve smelled my fingers. I’ve smelled them lots of times. You know how they fucking smell? They smell good. Good as pussy pie.”

  25. January Jones Butt Tight Jeans
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she finally successful in getting rid of “it”?

  26. Robin Thicke Gold Microphone EXPRESS Times Square Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Still unaware that he’s just living la vida loca.

  27. Serena Williams Surprised Face Sony Ericsson Open
    Commented on this photo:

    “Please boss, don’t put that thing over my face, don’t put me in the dark. I’s afraid of the dark.”

  28. David Hasselhoff Staring At Guys Bare Ass El Hormiguero
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not really qualified to do this, I only played a lifeguard on TV, but what the hell, scoot your butt on over here and let’s check that prostate.

  29. Miley Cyrus Butt Spitting Water On Fans Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting pissed on by Daleks is something I haven’t seen before, even for her.

  30. Katherine Heigl Squatting In Front Of Cab State Of Affairs Set
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    thesuperficial.com beats TMZ to an exclusive shot of Katherine Heigl the very moment before she is crushed between a taxi and a truck.

  31. Nick Offerman Bending Over For Photograhers The Late Show
    Commented on this photo:

    He has instantly made twerking cool again. Love this guy.

  32. David Hasselhoff Staring At Guys Bare Ass El Hormiguero
    Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did I tell you guys that I’m also known as David Hasslicker?!”

  33. Kate Gosselin Bitchface Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    I did NOT squirt 8 kids out of my snatch for THIS

  34. Jada Pinkett Smith Red Bangs Gotham Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Monkey Magic.

  35. Nick Offerman Bending Over For Photograhers The Late Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I want one of those Ron Swanson cuddly toys for my birthday. Hintage. :D

  36. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘scuse me a minute…I need to sabotage this

  37. Prince Charles Photobombed By Little Kid
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid’s face makes up for the lack of sausage fingers in the image.

  38. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty See Through Dress Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Note the look of disappointment on her face as she realizes the car is shinier than she is.

  39. Billy Crystal Shoving Sandwich Into Mouth Clippers Game
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    No one will take a picture of me and later photoshop it into something completely out of context while I’m eating this delicious sandwich at a Clippers game.

  40. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Crazy Coke Eyes Red Unlaced Boots Fatal Attraction Press Night
    Rick James
    Commented on this photo:

    Cocaine is a helluva drug!

  41. Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs Maddox Zahara LAX
    Oh Boy
    Commented on this photo:

    Long Duck Dong Jr.

  42. Katherine Heigl Squatting In Front Of Cab State Of Affairs Set
    Commented on this photo:

    you’ve got nothing on the ninja skills of that liquor store lady ..js

  43. Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs Maddox Zahara LAX
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Really, Zebra Print? I’m surprised she hasn’t put the Asian one in a Kung Fu outfit. Zahara knows what I’m talking about.

  44. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leering At Young Woman Sabotage Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    dude just autographed his hand lmfao. finally someone doing it right!

  45. Joe Jonas Checking Out Dude In Front Of Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s blanda, Joe or his girlfriend?

  46. Danica McKellar Butt Yoga Pants Ugg Boots DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I have an equation for you, Danica. Calculate the distance between me and you, divide that by 10, multiply that by how good you are at fellatio. Now subtract dem drawers. What do you get?

  47. Prince Charles Photobombed By Little Kid
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Until now I thought “Lil Charles” was the Prince’s dick.

  48. Miley Cyrus Butt Spitting Water On Fans Instagram
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Charming to the last.

  49. Katherine Heigl Squatting In Front Of Cab State Of Affairs Set
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still searching for her career.

  50. Janice Dickinson Discolored Face Weird Cheekbone
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have assumed a makeover would have included removing her face completely and starting over.

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