The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.13.13

February 13th, 2013 // 305 Comments

It was in that moment that huge breasts spared the lives of countless people. Dorner retreated, excited to tell some buddies in Big Bear how he’s pretty sure he saw some nipple. Could’ve been a shadow, but he’s pretty sure…

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that just made a terrible joke at the expense of a national tragedy because having emotions is for people who wear pants to work. Although, I know you guys can’t wait to surrender a sizeable chunk of your own souls making fun of the rest of these people, so here goes: Josh Duhamel, who can see his wife’s penis from there, Hilary Duff, who grew a third asscheek (I’ll allow it.), Ted Vagina, and David Hasselhoff, who’s super excited because when his flight left for Sydney, McDonald’s was serving breakfast, then when he landed — STILL BREAKFAST!!

Time zone jokes, got ‘em (Full Disclaimer: I did absolutely no research to fact-check if this is even remotely accurate.),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    MH
    Commented on this photo:

    “A few more minutes of waiting and someone is bound to get a newspaper, then before it closes, we grab the stack and re-sell them”

  2. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe her hair is the exact circumference of Oprah’s ass.

  3. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now, you are MY woman!”

  4. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet still a smaller ass than Kim the Cow

  5. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why am I being turned away?”
    “Because, you can’t fit through the front door.”

  6. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    No foot fungus!

  7. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Something just isn’t balanced here…

  8. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes-I look at him and immediately think, “Grrrrrrrr.”

  9. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    Hoff is racking in the following there!

  10. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Where else would hr be dressed like this?

  11. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    keijo
    Commented on this photo:

    Miami Survival? That’s a tough one. GL

  12. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a scene from the matrix.

  13. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Different shitty day, same nervous smile.

  14. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    her head is just too big for her boobies

  15. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, the reciprocal arrangement is that Beyonce is to attend the premier of “Oprah: Life Is But An Ice Cream’.

  16. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    In the thumbnail, I thought this was Chris Brown on a date with Manti Te’o's girlfriend.

  17. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    Everybody but Hoff and the woman in red looks like they were photoshopped into the background.

  18. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Wheres my hat?
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally the secret burglar of Slashs tour wardrobe reveals herself !

  19. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Someones seen Django already then. Like it did you Jezza ?

  20. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Isnt this the bit where he makes Picard into dyson fodder ?

  21. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    What a geometically pleasing head. Mandelbrot ?

  22. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never been to Miami. But music videos, tv shows and now this website suggest that all women there live on / next to the beach and are super hot. Therefore, why no group shots ?

  23. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The NYPD and the DEA are looking for her because they heard that wherever she goes, she’s carrying eight pounds of crack!

  24. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    “Please, leave, so I can kiss your ass goodbye!”

  25. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought it was Tom Arnold when I first saw the photo.

  26. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of the smile that Bertney did through the entire season of the X Factor. They must share a pharmaceutical solution.

  27. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking for Michael Bay and another career boost.

  28. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim learned early establishing dominance over your kid can never start soon enough. As such constricting leather pants and anything else wrapped tightly around your belly is a must.

  29. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me Bill is just inbetween takes in a movie about a creepy pedophile.

  30. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be in Miami to shoot his new survival show: Man vs. Cruise Ship.

  31. Genevieve Morton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    What a beautiful porn star. What, she’s not… yet?!

  32. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Another aspiring model from the Island of Dr. Moreau.

  33. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    PC, transsexual or Ladyboy?

  34. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    What Just happened
    Commented on this photo:

    ah…I think your silicone is leaking. Might wanna get a Dr to take a look at that.

  35. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    family guy

  36. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s the luckiest plump chick in the business.

    15 years ago, a girl like her would have no job in the business.

  37. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Commented on this photo:

    Chased by security for creeping everyone out with his constant ogling of men’s crotches, poor Josh is forced to retreat to the observation deck with his bag of quarters.

  38. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    THE SHEEN
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s future fat in training. the next anna nicole. stay away from the pills, chunkasaurus.

  39. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    The leather pants make perfect sense – as soon as her calf is born, it will be ejected straight into a proper hide.

  40. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    A fat broad in a skin tight purple dress, and not one ‘Grimace’ joke here?

  41. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, yeah, just hurry up and take the damned picture, my panel van is double parked.

  42. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Commented on this photo:

    just out of frame, her shopping cart full of urine soaked pants and stray cats.

  43. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    seems silly to carry such a giant bag, when she has all that extra room to carry stuff in her big fat vagina.

  44. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right, baby, eat alllll them beans. You eat ‘em right up. Ya, that’s it, get that sauce on your chin. Just like that, daddy likey.”

  45. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seriously? Only $25 for both of us? OHHH….for us to blow YOU.

    We just thought, nevermind. No it’s alright. Ya, okay, deal.”

  46. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Commented on this photo:

    “Save it, Dave. Save it.”

  47. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I love me a bigass fluffy ‘fro.

  48. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, if you guys are going to keep getting to bask in the titular glory of Upton, I demand you start showing some Hiddleston on here.

    The current selection of males on here smells like sweaty gym socks and looks like Pauly Shore’s mangina.

  49. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Draft dodger. Married her cousin to keep out of the Israeli army–but supports other Israelis killing Palestinians. Lovely girl.

  50. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Commented on this photo:

    He and I would get along just swell if he was stricken mute. And never learned sign language.

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