The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.13.13

February 13th, 2013 // 305 Comments

It was in that moment that huge breasts spared the lives of countless people. Dorner retreated, excited to tell some buddies in Big Bear how he’s pretty sure he saw some nipple. Could’ve been a shadow, but he’s pretty sure…

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that just made a terrible joke at the expense of a national tragedy because having emotions is for people who wear pants to work. Although, I know you guys can’t wait to surrender a sizeable chunk of your own souls making fun of the rest of these people, so here goes: Josh Duhamel, who can see his wife’s penis from there, Hilary Duff, who grew a third asscheek (I’ll allow it.), Ted Vagina, and David Hasselhoff, who’s super excited because when his flight left for Sydney, McDonald’s was serving breakfast, then when he landed — STILL BREAKFAST!!

Time zone jokes, got ‘em (Full Disclaimer: I did absolutely no research to fact-check if this is even remotely accurate.),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Mona Douche

  2. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Derp mouth + eyebrows

  3. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Quentin reacts to an invisible autograph seeker.

  4. Jessica Perez Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks good.

  5. Chrissy Teigen Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Her handbag looks like her dick.

  6. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve lost track. Is this skinny Oprah, or fat Oprah?

  7. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have crossed oceans of douche to find you.”

  8. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re remaking Men in Black again?

  9. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Creed sucks.

  10. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay flash mob.

  11. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    No one has ever seen Katherine Heigl and Nicole Kidman in the same room.

    True story.

  12. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    No one has ever seen Katherine Heigl and Nicole Kidman in the same room.

    True story.

  13. Hanna Davis Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    Shame she iswearingthose lace panties. Would love for once a celebrity to go bareback down there in a photo for all of us horse riders to see.

  14. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    RIP. No more Fapke Janssen

  15. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    I was so drunk last night that I forgot to put my pants back on this morning. Anyone seen them? They were brown corderow!

  16. Adaora Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn! Sex please!

  17. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Piña Colada
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in the garden a Mexican is looking for his shirt.

  18. Genevieve Morton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty face, nice bod, but who is she and what has she done? I do not remember her in any of the cable shows I’ve watched before. Is she on Broadcast TV? Or, a few lewd movies? Can I home so?

  19. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, les Reservoire Dogues – everyvun of zem is Monsieur Beige.

  20. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    What? You mean this ISN’T McGuyver? But, that guy behind him is some sort of British SPY isn’t he? Darn, now I am confused!

  21. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Because you really want to highlight if your chin is shaped as old man scrotum.

  22. Adaora Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like another pretty African woman human trafficing victim. How much for a night stand? I mean, all nighter? Do what I say, or I will report you to ICE!

  23. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Ted Vagina? Now I’ve seen everything. And Will Ferrell is – to quote Chris Rock – “gon’ sue somebody”.

  24. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    Jackie Jagger Chan in the background looks totally shopped in.

  25. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    And, who said only tooth-pick skinny women can be pretty?

  26. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she one of the Witches in the movie?

  27. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    hhh
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re going to shave your balls, please take the rest off while you’re at it.

  28. Jessica Perez Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Just Sayin'
    Commented on this photo:

    White looks good on her. Most women can only pull off a look like that in black. But, Jessica sure does look good in white! I wonder what she looks like in red? Hmm . . .

  29. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, the huge manatee…

  30. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t get me wrong- she’s very pretty- but whenever I see pictures of her out and about at various events and I compare those to her bikini pix in magazines, I get the impression that people are always photoshopping major pounds off of her. Hey, I’m not judging her- Good for Kate and her giant boobs!

  31. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like everyone got arrow-keyed on this one.

  32. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    His foot fetish must seem downright wearisome in the Land of the Rising Sun.

  33. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    Jerry
    Commented on this photo:

    She is squeezing those fuckers like fresh oranges.

  34. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    getting old sucks so hard:(

  35. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    And the crowd goes mild…

  36. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Commented on this photo:

    Who would have thought that ‘Quizzical Brow’ was a permanent affliction.

  37. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “You want me to play a self centered actress who has no appreciation of the opportunities she has been given and has burned her bridges with everyone she has worked with? That’s the role I was born to play!”

  38. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    just_elizabeth
    Commented on this photo:

    What is he bulking down for something? Is that even a thing?

  39. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what movie this is for, but it will probably end up being not as funny as this single still picture.

  40. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Commented on this photo:

    “That ascot makes you look kinda gay. Tell me where you buy them.”

  41. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Feel my scales! Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey!”

  42. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    Commented on this photo:

    “How much for the little gay one?”
    “Can you be more specific?

  43. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    Banjobraids
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone ate bubble gum out of the garbage, again.

  44. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s there to sell weed.

  45. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Having no pants got my attention. Now be someone I actually care about.

  46. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in Hollywood: “Okay, I’m greenlighting Match Game: The Movie. And I think I know who should play Brett Somers…”

  47. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    ash
    Commented on this photo:

    wow carmen. looking good.

  48. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow; That Duff is Buff, let me eat the Muff

  49. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Love child of Gary Sinise and Alanis Morrisette.

  50. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Oprah’s modeling the new ‘Spanx by NASA’.

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