The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.13.13

February 13th, 2013 // 305 Comments

It was in that moment that huge breasts spared the lives of countless people. Dorner retreated, excited to tell some buddies in Big Bear how he’s pretty sure he saw some nipple. Could’ve been a shadow, but he’s pretty sure…

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that just made a terrible joke at the expense of a national tragedy because having emotions is for people who wear pants to work. Although, I know you guys can’t wait to surrender a sizeable chunk of your own souls making fun of the rest of these people, so here goes: Josh Duhamel, who can see his wife’s penis from there, Hilary Duff, who grew a third asscheek (I’ll allow it.), Ted Vagina, and David Hasselhoff, who’s super excited because when his flight left for Sydney, McDonald’s was serving breakfast, then when he landed — STILL BREAKFAST!!

Time zone jokes, got ‘em (Full Disclaimer: I did absolutely no research to fact-check if this is even remotely accurate.),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    All you straight guys that get all creeped out if your buddy accidentally touches your thigh by accident and then everyone jumps up and goes, “Hey…ho…whoa!” Even you guys gotta admit that this is one good lookin’ man.

  2. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    And there is was, shining like a lighthouse upon a stormy sea. Her heart began to race; her skin began to glisten. Truly, Skarsgard’s penis was a treasure beyond price.

  3. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    who ordered the Mick Jagger wishing troll?

  4. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    sexyman48
    Commented on this photo:

    Strange thing is when they took the photo the old guy wasn’t there.

  5. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    So his last name is Diego in Spanish?

  6. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Valet ticket? For a bi-plane? I guess it’s here in my satchell somewhere.

  7. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    Kermit the Frog
    Commented on this photo:

    “Babe, you are soooo kinky.”

  8. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    smash!

  9. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    And this exact photo at this exact moment was the thinnest she was her entire adult life.

  10. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    his hate said hetero before this pic was taken

  11. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    his hat said hetero before this pic was taken

  12. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Oprah presents: Tyler Perry’s Beyonce, A Spike Lee Joint.

  13. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    and no one thought to look for dorner with the jonas brothers. brilliant!

  14. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    hugh jackman has the biggest boner right now

  15. Adaora Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    adaora? i dont even aknowa!

  16. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    thanks, but one vanessa hudgens is enough

  17. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    The Face of Unfunny

  18. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    butter reptile face

  19. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Alex: “Psst, hey David, wanna play butt rape?”
    David: “Uh, no.”
    Alex: “That’s the spirit.”

  20. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Sparky
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs a trim. Bit bushy.

  21. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a-living in a box! She’s living in cardboard box!

  22. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess I’m a gerontophile ’cause DAAYUUUUUUM!

  23. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This punchline really has nothing worth smiling about

  24. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Eli
    Commented on this photo:

    Attica!!! Attica!!! Attica!!!!

  25. Lisa Seiffert Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Fantastic !

  26. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Black guy’s thought bubble, “You get one more inch closer to Kate and I’ll fuck you up.”

  27. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well that’s it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I’m going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good night.”

  28. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Plaid shirt hides the split cowhide in the back.
    MOO

  29. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so fucking hot. Lizzie McGuire done good.

  30. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    PhotoBoy is right…there are 3 of them.
    That ain’t right.

  31. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks as though she’s been thoroughly enjoying her retirement.

  32. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s made a swell deal with Satan.

  33. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    No pants and a wig the size of Geogia….I hope that pissed her sister off.

  34. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    All that money, no style whatsoever.

  35. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be nice to not have t give a shit anymore.

  36. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s Brook Shields modeling the new “Scientology Smock.”

  37. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks warm and…um…interesting.
    You could wear it as a dress too. I think I like it.

  38. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    I totally thought this was McGuyver.

    And I was like “Oh cool, its McGuyver!”

    But then.. it wasn’t.

  39. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    It isn’t a good thing when your rack looks like a butt instead.

  40. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfection.

  41. Chrissy Teigen Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck yeah!

  42. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know her but I suspect she needs to be banged hard and repeatedly.
    It’s just this strange suspicion that I have.

  43. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    …”So then he grabs her in this huge fucking bear hug, so I go SMASH SMASH SMASH….”

  44. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    Your weird uncle and his wife who tuned out years ago.

  45. Alyssa Miller Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Vants blud.

  46. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll be fine with never seeing her again.

  47. Hanna Davis Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice nipples. Nice everything.

  48. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”

  49. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    That outfit screams “rugged outdoorsman”

  50. Adaora Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I do adore ya.

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