The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.12.14

February 12th, 2014 // 320 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you before tomorrow’s all day snow and ice dickpunch. In anticipation of nature throwing another tree into my circuit breaker, I ressurected the Final Five again and stuffed it full of Gloria’s ass. But before you deplete your battery life gazing into that and then knife your family over the last can of Beefaroni, check out Ireland Baldwin pre-Instagram filter, or GAH! as I’m calling it, Pope Francis‘ first miracle – feeding an entire crowd with only three balloon penises, and this series of shots from whatever the hell this movie is starring Ted with a cock, because we can all agree that great parody begins and ends with dick jokes.

Wait, did I just negate our entire creative process? EJECT!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    He may have just won the Super Bowl, but if he’s going to Disneyland, he’s just going to beat the shit out of Mickey or something

  2. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Priests now make penis balloons? Thats odd…

    • Maybe there’s something in the Bible about how all balloons need to be twisted to look like yellow butterfly-jizzing penii in order to honour .. something .. cross …. Jesus butter ….

  3. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he trawling kids’ birthday parties now?

  4. Christopher McDonald Perv Stache About Last Night Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi I’m Christopher McDonald, remember when I was in EVERY FUCKING MOVIE?

    No? That’s OK. *I* do.

  5. Madonna Cleavage Hard Canty Fitness Opening Toronto
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    She is an evil genius. Opening a gym to get access to virgin blood is why she is still alive after 500 years.

  6. Lauren Goodger Butt Tigth Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Black mans Kryptonite.

  7. Lil Mama Crazy Eyes About Last Night Premiere
    howie feltersnatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Tyra Banks is looking good.

  8. George Clooney Scarf Signing Tablet London
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and by the time I was done fucking him, Willy Wonka was so grateful he was like ‘no, really, take the coat, you’ve earned it…’”

  9. Sofia Vergara Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    And the tits are…?

  10. Madonna Cleavage Hard Canty Fitness Opening Toronto
    Commented on this photo:

    What no more grill…..

  11. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She should only be photographed from the waist up.

  12. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    That face is what is keeping her self esteem at “tell me my body is pretty” levels…so don’t complain.

  13. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything about this is awesome

  14. Christopher McDonald Perv Stache About Last Night Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Shooter!

  15. Lil Mama Crazy Eyes About Last Night Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she might have a lil penis under her dress.

  16. Tara Reid Jamie Kennedy Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    when Jamie Kennedy tries to dodge a photo op with you, a stuffed bear dick is probably the best you can hope to do.

  17. Lil Mama Crazy Eyes About Last Night Premiere
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    Bullshit. That’s Eddie Murphy. I know the Beverly Hills Cop in a wig when I see it.

  18. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Does the bear look ashamed to have his picture taken with her?

  19. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says limitless faith in God’s plan like a bulletproof bubble.

  20. George Clooney Scarf Signing Tablet London
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sign my marriage certificate”
    “Sign my old Trapper Keeper”

  21. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    I just love that there is a picture of the pope right after a picture of Farrah Abraham and a teddy bear with a dick.

  22. Madonna Cleavage Hard Canty Fitness Opening Toronto
    Ginger Failed
    Commented on this photo:

    Lil Kim has got to stop with the skin bleaching.

  23. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor guy. He’s got that “I can’t believe I married a Kardashian!” look, just like Kanye.

  24. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like every blonde has to be photographed as Marilyn Monroe at some point in their life.

  25. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    In honor of Genesius of Rome, patron saint of clowns, the Pope spent the day performing blessings of balloon animals.

  26. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy inside the teddy costume is glad he showed up for work.

  27. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Doing what she’s best at.

  28. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she asking for 2 bears?

  29. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    HumpinFrog
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell whose eyes are more dead inside? I’ll go with the chick looking at the camera and her nose simultaneously.

  30. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    Back Off Haters!
    Plushie Porn is the next logical step!
    Every girl should own a 6′ Poo Bear
    with life size “Hulk Hogan” peen.

  31. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    She did not know this photo was being taken.

  32. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Most sensible male mammals become flaccid around Farrah.

  33. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Bear looks more concerned than excited, exactly how hard is she gripping that thing?

  34. George Clooney Scarf Signing Tablet London
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why, yes. I’d love to sign your Etch-a-Sketch!”

  35. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    PediPope
    Commented on this photo:

    Bless you, Bless you…
    No, no older than 6, Bless you…
    Yes, that one should do nicely…

  36. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    Commented on this photo:

    The first set of double duck lips!

  37. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to be pretty narcissistic to take a picture of yourself on the red carpet.

  38. Tara Reid Jamie Kennedy Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Ted has really grown

  39. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Expecting story on how the bear raped her soon.

  40. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Ginger Failed
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s nothing more badass then a leopard priint hoodie from the Nicki Minaj collection at K-mart.

  41. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Drunk The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “So ladies, do you still have any liver function left?”

  42. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Might as well have fake hair, too.

  43. Christopher McDonald Perv Stache About Last Night Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    If this picture wasn’t taken in1986, then I have two questions.

  44. Wladimir Klitschko Alex Leapai Face To Face Fists Raised Upcoming Fight Press Conference
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I must break you…and also kiss you.

  45. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea that Marilyn had liver problems.

  46. Olivia Wilde Butt Tight Jeans
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Mom Jeans, letting the world know “I’ve given up” since 1957!

  47. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    not enuff tongue hanging out. fail.

  48. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you imagine the way I felt? I couldn’t unfasten her safety belt!

  49. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Backdoor Midgets vs. Mascots film in 3D

  50. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Lisa, how many decades since menopause?

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