The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.12.14

February 12th, 2014 // 320 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you before tomorrow’s all day snow and ice dickpunch. In anticipation of nature throwing another tree into my circuit breaker, I ressurected the Final Five again and stuffed it full of Gloria’s ass. But before you deplete your battery life gazing into that and then knife your family over the last can of Beefaroni, check out Ireland Baldwin pre-Instagram filter, or GAH! as I’m calling it, Pope Francis‘ first miracle – feeding an entire crowd with only three balloon penises, and this series of shots from whatever the hell this movie is starring Ted with a cock, because we can all agree that great parody begins and ends with dick jokes.

Wait, did I just negate our entire creative process? EJECT!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she’d give you an itch that lasts for more than seven years.

  2. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they famous? I can’t tell them apart. And why are there only three people listed in the description?

  3. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope. Not even going to touch this.

    That’s what I think Charlize was saying.

  4. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Hugh Evers
    Commented on this photo:

    The unfortunate look of a man after 5 Viagra and Charleze Theron touching your dick… and still nothing.

  5. Lil Mama Crazy Eyes About Last Night Premiere
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her son asked Lil Mama who his dad is.

  6. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Why . . . so . . . serious?

  7. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Free balloons for everyone 12 and under! Yaaay!

  8. Wladimir Klitschko Alex Leapai Face To Face Fists Raised Upcoming Fight Press Conference
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Out of frame: Hayden blowing both of them.

  9. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a woman who knows exactly how to be asked to return for the sequel.

  10. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    Tqwink
    Commented on this photo:

    Camel Toe Alert!

  11. Wladimir Klitschko Alex Leapai Face To Face Fists Raised Upcoming Fight Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    “You keep shut stupid mouth or Wladimir poke you in eye with girlfriend!”

  12. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold, the powers of the Blur filters!

  13. Madonna Cleavage Hard Canty Fitness Opening Toronto
    Commented on this photo:

    Smart move, covering up the hands.

  14. Tara Reid Jamie Kennedy Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, she’s surprisingly upright.

  15. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Malcolm Smith is actually facing away from the camera. He’s the guy in the grey suit. I don’t know who the guy in the leopard print and the guy in the black suit are. That might be why they’re unnamed.

  16. Midget Terra Jole Grabbing Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, it’s Mini-Britney!

  17. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, it’s Mega-Skankwhore!

  18. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    From the look on his face, they’re rehearsing a scene from “I Am Sam 2″ – younger blonde woman teaches Sam how to “drive stick.”

  19. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, everybody, meet my new boyfriend. We just made a tape of our love. Just for the two of us – don’t ever publish it all over the internet, OK?” *wink*

  20. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Not showing off her best feature to distract = fail.
    Stick to the showing your ass shots sweetie, not that you aren’t cute and all but its your best marketable feature…
    just sayin…

  21. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that who she fucks in her new not-a-porno?

  22. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    Commented on this photo:

    No, not even once, sister.

  23. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks but we don’t need the clue Lisa, we can see your V just fine!”

  24. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Rasputin's Evil Twin
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t Anna Nichole Smith dead?

  25. Isla Fisher Butt Yoga Pants Gillian Jacobs Visions Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Absolutely love me some Isla Fisher and that ass hmmmmm

  26. Olivia Wilde Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    After the bad news received today, I’d gladly put it in her butt…oh well

  27. Lisa Rinna Erect Nipples Cameltoe Peace Sign
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe she puts her swollen, puffy lips on display like that.”

    “Yeah, what was she thinking with those tights?”

    “Oh yeah, those are pretty bad, too.”

  28. Tara Reid Jamie Kennedy Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey! Got to eat!”

  29. Jude Law Sticking Tongue Out Noel Coward Theatre Signing Autographs
    Commented on this photo:

    How’d he get Selena Gomez’s shirt…this can only mean…oh my god, nobody tell Bieber!

  30. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    This is huge progress for her – normally she’d be sucking that bears dick.

  31. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Drunk The Today Show
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    As I’ve gotten older, I have realized that there are hot 60 year olds. None of them are pictured here, however.

  32. Sofia Vergara Butt Yoga Pants
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what it’s supposed to look like, Kim.

  33. Tara Reid Jamie Kennedy Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    MacAttack
    Commented on this photo:

    Does that bear have a penis?

  34. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Milli or Vanilli?

  35. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Another picture of the holy father to invite pedophile comments. How shameful.

  36. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Chuck
    Commented on this photo:

    The Samsung Galaxy, now with a screen so big you can fit Ireland Baldwin’s head in a picture.

  37. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    “Greg, honey. Is it supposed to be this soft?”

  38. Pope Francis Excited For Balloon Animals
    Commented on this photo:

    Jackpot!

  39. Madonna Cleavage Hard Canty Fitness Opening Toronto
    Commented on this photo:

    Zap gloves for the first 100 new members!

  40. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I will have some! Yum!

  41. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    You are literally looking at the only thing she needs.

    Narcissus is envious of this one.

  42. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Even the bear can’t get it up for her.

  43. Elizabeth Hurley Nipples 2014 Portrait Gala Collecting To Inspire National
    Commented on this photo:

    Bill Clinton looks at and points to the camera and says, “I DID have sexual relations with that woman.”

  44. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead Man Whacking.

  45. Sean Penn Charlize Theron Hanjob In Car After Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    All the way home he held a grudge—but the safety belt, it wouldn’t budge.

  46. Farrah Abraham Ted With A Cock The Hungover Games Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, it turns out I AM hung like a bear.

  47. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Rawr, Rawr! Like a dungeon dragon!!

  48. Coco Cleavage Marilyn Monroe Instagram
    howie feltersnatch
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like Marilyn Monroe ate Marilyn Monroe

  49. Ireland Baldwin Derpface Selfie Red Carpet Samsung Galaxy Backstage Lounge Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Just the tip…

  50. Richard Sherman Death Glare Malcolm Smith Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the leopard jacket is obviously Richard Shermans bitch.

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