Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because this news day is slower than Jonah Hill‘s metabolism. Anyway, Michael Fassbender delivers a mixed message, saying either “Fuck you” or “Goddamn, having a giant penis sure is grand,” and Eli Roth is about to Bear Jew all over Selena Gomez‘s sundae which are the sexiest words Justin Bieber will ever read in his life.
Viggo Mortensen takes what Viggo Mortensen wants,
- Photo Boy
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“It’s TWO in the pink…two! Two!! “
I don’t like Katherine because I believe she is a selfish little Hollywood count but I would so, so, so bust a load on them goddamn tits.
Countess you mean.
or cunt
The look on Brad’s face says he wasn’t expecting his companion to reach into his pocket and grab his penis…no, wasn’t expecting that at all.
HAHAHAHA, That is so true…so true.
Unexpected gas..
For a guy named Assbender, he seems nice.
At the last minute, she hastily crafted a pair of earrings out of spoons because that’s just the kind of person she is.
Uuuuhhhh no.
They are clearly fish lures.
Where’s that “Get the Look!” link when we need it?
(Kidding, Fish! Seriously…do NOT bring that shit back. Please.)
Looks like an episode of Smug and Smugger
Sad and Sadder.
If only the hipsters knew their hero Bill Murray is a Republican.
He was skinny for what…like 20 minutes?
Welcome to the fabulous world of yo-yo dieting.
I hope he got a warranty with his lap band surgery.
Yo-yo dieting—maybe it’s Jonah Hill who’s the White Oprah.
Hey weight, good to see you again!
Why does Denzel look like a Simpsons character?
Yes! but is it Moe or Barney???
No, that’s not Denzel. It’s a puppet. Seriously—that’s what this show is known for. Its puppets.
Is she someone famous, or just a hot chick who walked by while they were taking photos of Paris Hilton?
Also, nice hipster ironic cell phone headset…those were funny 10 years ago.
Not to mention, two bags on her arm, but she STILL HAS TO HOLD THE GIANT HEADSET IN HER HAND.
the whole point of owning a giant headset is to tell everyone how fucking awesome you are with your crazy irony. Hard to accomplish that with it hidden in one of your two bags.
Or she just finished using the her phone and head-set, and instead of stopping in front of the paparazzi and the car that seems to be heading in her direction, she’s going to put the phone and head-set back in her bag when she is in whatever building or car she is going to.
Also, those head-sets aren’t really meant to be funny. Some people might get them to attract attention, but most people like them because they cut down on the amount of radiation that ends up near their head when they use their cellphone, and some people find them easier to hold.
Trek Girl, that explanation (the “she just finished using it” one) might be valid on its face, but haven’t you noticed that seemingly every celebrity shown on this site is holding their cellphone in their hand? Regardless of the presence of handbags and pockets that could carry it—and also regardless of the presence of the cup of coffee and car keys and what not they are usually holding in the same hand as well? They can’t ALL be “just finished” using their phone. Let’s face it—even when they’re just finished…they still don’t put it away.
its no just celebrities
I always have my cellphone on my hand and car keys too
same with my mom and shes almost 60
@Tom Frank: So, the fact that many people are constantly texting, talking on their phones, or have their phones at the ready almost all the time doesn’t mean anything? I have noticed that a lot of celebrities on this site are shown with their phones in their hand, but that’s really not unusual when you consider the fact that they are usually caught going to or from the gym, shopping, on their way to business meetings, going to or from their home, or going grocery shopping; guess what, it’s normal for people to use their phones before after or doing all of those things.
“I covet your peach melba, and by melba I mean your lady melba.”
Thank God for Twitter or else the world wouldn’t know just how full of awesome this little drip of maple syrup really is.
I almost didn’t recognize him without Cruella DeVille suctioned onto his arm.
haha
She is living proof that fame, wealth, beauty and the adoration of millions is all it takes to be happy.
OKAY WHAT IS WITH THE FACE IS LOOKING BAD! That or bad makeup job . . .
It’s the lighting and the flash. Everyone looks like shit in photos like this, even really pretty broads like this one.
Yeah, the photog decided to optimize the bounce flash on the boobs instead of the face.
She’s a heavy smoker. If she hasn’t hit the wall, she is approaching it at warp speed.
I can’t pinpoint why, but this photo scares me!
She’s been smoking those fake cigs for like 2 yrs now
Relax. This is just how they hail a cab in London. If they want to get the attention of a waiter, they shit on a dinner plate and clap three times.
Shit on a dinner plate? That isn’t how they get the attention of the waiter in London, that’s how they improve the taste of the food.
JPC, you got THAT right.
Wow that sure looks good!
Something about this bad boy isn’t quite like the others.
Goddammit, Brett Favre—ANOTHER comeback?
+1
Two words! That’s all I understand here!
Nice to see a celebrity not jumping on the Prius bandwagon.
That’s twice you called me Cuba Gooding Jr. white boy!
His eyes say he’s clearly not interested in the ice cream. He’s want’s in on the Bieber action.
Why does this guy always look like he just finished milking a cow?
Why you gotta call Harvey Weinstein a cow?
Paris looks happy with her Pepto-Bismal latte.
Giving the middle finger is what teenage white girls do on FaceBook to look cool.
I was thinking the same thing. What a chump.
And by the way…..nice tits.
Nice bra you mean, have you seen those puppies au naturel?
You mean when she was naked and giving that guy a world class BJ? Yes sir. Guilty.
World class? Oh man have you been gypped.
The guy holding the umbrella is thinking “Dammit, I’m gonna need a bigger umbrella soon”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bow chicka wow wow.
Nothing takes the edge off of stalking someone like ice cream.
YIKES! Pull that camera back about 50 feet.
Oh come now, you don’t need to look at the mantle while you’re stoking the fire,
So she only got two bucks for a blowie? Old white dude made out OK.
“You know what a jewish Pedo Bear looks like? Like THIS!”
+1 for the PedoBear Jew. I smell an Inglorious Basterds sequel. Although you know fucking Tarantino will make it all about underage feet.
I really hope he never spends even 10 minutes in jail. He wouldn’t walk straight again.
Icy Hot Stuntaz II: Canadian Boogaloo
She might want to save this photo for when she applies for a restraining order in a week.
In an unfortunate twist of fate, their portmanteau name is Viagra
Where’s the guy on the other side holding the other umbrella?
The lap band isn’t 2 crates of Oreos-proof.
They aren’t ice cream proof either. Milkshakes sneak right past that motherfucker.
Neither first class or premier.
The over/under on STDs is 7.
I say under… she has 5.
Ever see a Stone with marshmallows?
She’s in amazing shape for a 40 year-old dude.
Jennifer Aniston needs a shave.
You know the famous saying…
the camera adds 10 years.
In every picture like this, there’s always an old white guy saying it all with his Piggly Wiggly bag.
*sigh*
Appreciation for all the man’s full frontal scenes aside, why can’t he do a movie where he’s not smothered under strange 19th century styled facial hair?
So, you’ve seen “Eastern Promises” and “A History of Violence” too, huh?
Just so you know, Freud keeps his clothes on in A Dangerous Method, CD. Jung—Michael Fassbender—does not, but this is not the film of his that’s giving everyone penis envy. (See what I did there?)
badaboom shshhhhhhhhhhhhh (polite applause)
Much to Pippa’s chagrin, there are now two women competing for London’s Most Mediocre Ass.
god, she got fat
Oh come on, shes beautiful pregnant. All women are.
Except the fat ones
Picasso never gets eyes right. He’s good at cleavage though.