The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.13.11

April 13th, 2011 // 487 Comments

SURI: Stand back, faggot! Mother and I shall vanquish these foes.
TOM: It’s “daddy,” young lady.
SURI: SILENCE!

The Crap We Missed: Brought to you by The Xenu Child Warrior Center.

A Learning Place.

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Taylor Momsen
    The Laughing G-D
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear I just passed a homeless woman who looked like this, or maybe… no.

  2. Dolly Parton
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Fifty years in showbiz and her head is now as big as her tits!

  3. Taylor Momsen
    btreese
    Commented on this photo:

    Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice !!!!

  4. Audrina Patridge
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    “And they said it was impossible to look tacky in “The little Black Dress”. Ha, I guess I showed them.”

  5. Goldie Hawn
    jamiejames
    Commented on this photo:

    oh, crap! is she pregnant, too?

  6. Dolly Parton
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gotta be close to 70. Dayum.

  7. Kim Kardashian
    Sara
    Commented on this photo:

    Gravity – 1, Kim K. – 0

  8. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    jamiejames
    Commented on this photo:

    who the hell is this? her name sounds like some sort of fruit.

  9. Heather Graham
    AC
    Commented on this photo:

    Heather Graham is like as if Christina Hendricks can travel back and forth in both time and weight – which would make this her 10 years FROM now but 30 pounds AGO.

  10. Taylor Momsen
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    She has that “raccoon caught in the headlights”look!
    Oh, wait! That’s just her idea of makeup making her look that way !

  11. Kim Kardashian
    Peter Pantsless
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a she’s smuggling a barrel of whiskey in her pants.

  12. Kim Kardashian
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    Because seeing this useless lardass wear Sketchers is going to make me wanna go out and buy them.

    • Krissy

      Exactly. If wearing these shoes means I’ll get a body like hers, I’ll stick with wearing my regular tennis shoes and actually doing work outs. Seeing her promote/wear them definitely doesn’t make me want to buy them.

  13. Rose McGowan
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wanna see my MILF Boobie?”

  14. Bret Michaels
    Commented on this photo:

    I dunno…accessory wise he’s a little more decked out than Johnny Depp, but he’s no Chris Angel.

  15. Audrina Patridge
    Sara
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonk Tits, Meet Wonk Eyes.

  16. Rose McGowan
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Quite the batch of goofy faces today. Looks like much of the entertainment industry had caught-on-camera flatulence issues.

  17. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    hmna
    Commented on this photo:

    Suri is seriously pissed off.

  18. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s doing that new dance “The Fat Ass Robot”

    Is this really Sketchers promoting their product? If this is how you’re supposed to walk in them…well, fuckit. Sitting on the couch is looking pretty good.

    • UnholyKrep

      See, I was gonna go with “Robohog”, but I think your “Fat Ass Robot” is just a bit more appropriate.

  19. Taylor Momsen
    jamiejames
    Commented on this photo:

    “guh! i’m wearing lindsay lohan’s hair IRONICALLY. it’s called sarcasm, DAD. also i smoke cigarettes.”
    whenever i see pictures of her i always imagine her explaining herself to a sweet, chuckling father figure who thinks she should be allowed to make her own mistakes. that’s probably the story here.

  20. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    doin’ the muffin-top shuffle…

  21. Rose McGowan
    jamiejames
    Commented on this photo:

    what is she doing, what happened to her face, and she has a kid?

  22. Taylor Momsen
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks better in the night time.

  23. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s pronounced..Shreek-E, which is exactly the response she elicits.

  24. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Superficial, I LOVE YOU. Reminding regular women the world over that sometimes even megahotties look like this.

  25. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    shoes unlaced…check
    tight jeans…check
    matching shirt and scarf: check
    Ironic glasses: check
    stocking cap in spring: check
    downs syndrome sidekick: check

    Ok…I’m ready to be seen in public, let’s go…

  26. Pete Wentz
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    They did not name that poor child Mogwai. Did they?

    • The Critical Crassness

      It turned out that fucking the dog, was not,as Benjie had believed, how Ashlee got pregnant However, they had already chosen the name!

  27. Rebecca Romijn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you know that fat kid from Stand By Me has a penis only this big? ”

    This week has been a world record for photos of chicks doing blow up doll mouths.

  28. Pete Wentz
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see you sneaky up on my “sippy-cup” ! Better keep your distance or I’ll kick you to the curb just like Mommy did my Dad!”

  29. Kim Kardashian
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    In this position the weight of her ass completely balances the weight of her tits and stops her from falling tits-over-ass.

  30. Gwyneth Paltrow
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    My fear of horses has resurfaced.

  31. Jenna Jameson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Jenna…what’s the smallest number of dicks you’ve had in your mouth at one time in the last week?”

  32. Alessandra Ambrosio
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess she had to pick up my megalarge rubbers for later.

    Frank Reynolds

  33. Goldie Hawn
    Commented on this photo:

    oh…that’s a shame.

  34. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    I still think that’s J-Woww (kinda like Michael Jackson and Latoya)

  35. Pete Wentz
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    We didn’t “miss” a picture of a toddler. Just leave it alone. There is nothing funny or witty to say when some asshole takes picture of a kid’s trip to the playlot with his dad.

  36. Dolly Parton
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she auditioning for the role of Eva Braun in “Hitler’s Last Bang” or is that role going to Lindsey Lohan?

  37. Dolly Parton
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I. Would. Wreck. Dolly. Parton. And not just for all the wanks when I was a kid. She still looks better than that old broad on Sex in the City.

  38. Pete Wentz
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out Pete…there’s a baby sneaking up on you. Who will undoubtedly kick your pussy ass.

    Isn’t a mogwai a gremlin?

  39. Gwyneth Paltrow
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s as though she just ate a popsicle and is checking to see if her tongue is blue

  40. twzzlrgirl

    That’s kinda the face I make after eating a penis gummy.

  41. Gwyneth Paltrow
    Commented on this photo:

    Legolas always was the excitable one.

    • To Saturday I say! To Saturday!

    • With his keen eyesight, sensitive hearing, and excellent bowmanship, Gwyneth…ahem…. Legolas….was a valuable resource to the other eight members of the Fellowship. His age is never stated by Tolkien but is estimated by some to be between 500 and 3,000 years old….

      excerpt from LOTR wiki….

  42. Pete Wentz
    fiz
    Commented on this photo:

    Sneaking a quick toke! F#ck!ng kid drives me nuts!

  43. Dolly Parton
    Commented on this photo:

    and the prize for “worst blow up doll mouth” of the week goes to…(drum roll)…YES! Dolly Parton!

    “Thanks everybody, most of all I want to thank Hitler…”

  44. Gwyneth Paltrow
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Skelator

  45. Kim Kardashian
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    remarkably enough, much like an iceberg, we are likely only seeing 20% of her ass here.

  46. Zachary Quinto
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    best. Scrabble. name. ever.

  47. Alessandra Ambrosio
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    insert penis here.

  48. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d brace yourself too if with every step you took the earth quaked.

  49. Pete Wentz
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm… He seems a little too comfortable with a sippy cup shoved up his ass…

  50. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m so excited my tits look like this!

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