“Mom says stepdads everywhere will be buying this sweater now!”
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Mischa Barton who is not only alive, but has also apparently traded in the Hostess for heroin, as well as Calista Flockhart finding just the perfect rib to remove for Harrison for Christmas, and Russell Brand and Ali Larter who are apparently calling each other in the morning now.
You bet your Venezuelan ass there’s more Aida Yespica at the end of this thing,
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Are those… cold sores… on my hired fans? Don’t make me jump over this table. HOIST THE CRANE! I’m comin for ya, bitch!
His head is shaped like Stewies!
You guys ever notice how she looks like a combination of Snookie and JWoww? I’m really gonna have to start re-thinking this whole religion thing…
Eh, no longer relevant!
ernst, am was zum Teufel soll ich mit diesen fugly Hündinnen tun
lol – don’t know what it says, but hilarious you wrote it in german
Google translate fail.
“Seriously, what in the devil am I to do with these two ugly dogs?”
Well, we now know who stole Ali Larter’s pants.
“…they toss it, and leave it,
and I pull up quick to retrieve it.”
He’s in his trance like state where he must bang everything he sees… Just kidding, that’s just his normal face…
Stupid gay kid. That chair should be mine!
Sporting duck lips.
Seriously!? Once you kick the heroin, the leather pants should be next to go.
Who’s dressed worse… the multi-millionaire who wears the same clothes EVERY day or the guy whose pantsline is making his nipples itch?
Look at the pimped out little ho. Her parents should be prosecuted.
Wow, I think I’ve just seen Jesus.
…And even He does not have an ass like this.
Can Jesus make an ass so hot that He Himself could not eat it?
I just pre’ed a little.
I bet you Leann Rimes is looking at this saying Challenge Accepted
He resembles a cro-magnum more now than he ever did in Encino man
LOl and you spell like one.
Cro Magnum refers to the extra large cave men.
And you can’t even type lol properly. Who’s the bigger failure?
And it’s cro-magnon, Tater.
Pretty sure he knew that. The reference was to Magnum.
I’m a Cro Trojan man myself. (Driving the point home.)
And I’m Cro-Atian. What are we talking about again?
Alan Arkin looks good.
Journalist: “Is it true, Mr. Cruise, that you’ve decided to start off with a SOFT -sell of your new movie here in the Middle-East, to GENTLY FEEL-out viewer response before PLUNGING INTO Europe for the HARD sell (let’s face it, they can be very ANAL with action blockbusters), and finally COMING to North America and SATURATING the market there?
Tom: “If you’ll excuse me, I ah— I have to use the men’s room for a moment”.
His eyes are saying “DIAL 911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Seth Greene is looking really old.
Mister Cruise! Mister Cruise! I have a question for you. My friend says the samosas are vegetarian but I say they are not. Most definitely.
Robert is stunned as he hears the man behind him yell “He’s got a little dick!”
What are her father’s eyebrows doing over her tits?
It’s shiny pants day.
I want to go to there.
Tom found the best way to get water out of his ear was to lean over, tap his head, and have a Scientologist recruit suck his cock under a table.
The Christmas elves are coming, and they are pissed.
Those pants looked better on Ali Larter.
So jelly.
Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?
Those stripes go all the way into the next time zone.
Meh, Pacino. But who’s the guy on the right?
This is what happens when you look at people from the wrong end of the binoculars.
That’s a winner.
Chick on left: “That’s mah teddy bear! Quick, take the pic, I want it blown up an’ in mah trailer tuh-night!”
Chick on right: “Bvvv! Guh-gll-gll!Bvvrt!”
Jesse: (thinking) “Yep, these are the last of my loyal fans. Someone shoot me now. please…”
Fuck you, chick in big glasses who’s all judgmental.
Fuck her I would. She’s got the mouth freshman look going on.
Lived fast, died young, left a good-looking corpse.
That is one foul sandwich….and you know he loved every minute of it.
One eye’s lookin’ at ya, and the other’s looking for the food cart.
I had to check. For a minute there, I thought I was on the People of Walmart site.
Seig Heil, Mr. Walmart greeter!
RDJ does his best to make a Mr Rogers cardigan sweater cool.
Does anyone else see the bug-eyed alien inside her top? Is that the Thetan thingy that Tom Cruise is scared of (or is the Thetan thingy Tom fears look more like a woman’s vagina)?
I thought there was a fashion rule regarding Oompaloompas and horizontal stripes.
Yeah, he fears the Thetan thingy (that is Scientologist slang for vagina).
So past his sell-by date…
Now that’s the look of somebody who is totally rockin’ the Marrakech International Film Festival.
Now he’s renting old men to hang with so he looks a bit hipper. If he gets any more hideous he’ll need to be renting dead people to hang with.
“Really” Baldwin got kicked off a plane for playing Words With Friends?? I took a dump in a vomit bag and they served me champagne.”
“Was that a glib question? Damn it, no glib questions were to be asked. Glib sucks. I hate the glib. Nobody asks Maverick the glib!”
I don’t think I ever saw Mary Kate smile before today.