The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 12.18.13

December 18th, 2013 // 282 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which you get to enjoy while Fish and I stuff hot meat into our mouths. *rereads* Yep, I’m fine with how that sounds. In case you’re wondering, yes, this is our “holiday party,” occurring at 3:30 PM on a Wednesday at a Bánh mì shop in Central Pennsylvania, so that should go ahead and answer the constant question of “Seriously, how cool is your job?” We’re white guys in our 30s who don’t give a shit about sports. This is all we have left. So, while I gently dab Sriracha from Fish’s cheek please enjoy today’s human sacrifices, starting with James Franco in what I hope is that Duck Dynasty idiot‘s recurring nightmare from now on until he dies, Fergie with her before photo, and Rob Ford dancing, which if you imagine happening slowly and to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ is the most magical thing that will happen to you today.

Once upon a time I was falling in love…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’M COKED UP LIKE A WREEEKIN’ BAAAALL!”

  2. Coco Huge Butt Tight Jeans Red Boots Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    They look like pictures on a t4m craigslist ad.

  3. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “We’re not gay…We’re straight! We just have sex with each other ironically!”

  4. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Helena Handbasket
    Commented on this photo:

    Oceans of yum

  5. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure Don Hertzfeldt made an instructional video on what to do in such a scenario.

  6. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    Uggs comment.

  7. Will Ferrell Meagan Good Bow Wow Keshia Chante 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit, I’m the only white person here”
    “Oh shit, I should have left my wallet in the car”

  8. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Hair Curlers Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Odd…that’s pretty much how my day started. Except mine had more coffee.

  9. Shane Jacobson Paul Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s not a washed out actor…THIS is a washed out actor!”

  10. Cheech Marin Hot Young Wife Darlene Morley
    Commented on this photo:

    The Wikipedia tells me that Darlene Morley hasn’t been his wife for nearly 30 years. That is probably his current wife Natasha (Rubin) Marin, who I’m not sure has even been alive for 30 years.

  11. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Have sling will travel.

  12. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    zaloog hits a new low.

  13. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Go ahead and laugh…KFC and crack withdrawal at the same time is no joke.

  14. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants Covering Face
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So they cropped out the guy(s) following her pretending to talk on their cell phones. Oh c’mon everyone does that don’t they?

  15. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Wots ‘e shoutin’ about? There’s something in the wattah behind us? A blood great fork?’

  16. Dita Von Teese Bethenny Frankel Holding Bra
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t put that on.

  17. Coco Huge Butt Tight Jeans Red Boots Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “What have you done to her eyes, you maniacs!”
    “She has her father’s eyes.”

  18. Cheech Marin Hot Young Wife Darlene Morley
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    A Steelers fan? In Beverly Hills?

  19. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Hair Curlers Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Tits by God, face by Mattel™

  20. Mark Wahlberg Drunk Sleepy Behind The Wheel Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve got a heated steering wheel in ma motherfukkin’ cah!

  21. Blac Chyna Shelf Ass Ripped Pants Mickey Mouse Shirt
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a Walmart in Beverly Hills.

  22. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    Commented on this photo:

    in Los Feliz, ironically.

  23. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to say hi to her in the street, just to see what would happen.

  24. George Iloka With Girlfriend
    Men
    Commented on this photo:

    No jokes. I bet her behind looks spectacular naked.

  25. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No, religion isn’t ridiculous or anything.

  26. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress Eyes Shut
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d wreck this woman upside down and backwards.

  27. Rosie Huntington Whiteley Chest Bones Cleavage AEM Association Children Of The World For Rwanda Charity Dinner
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow that dress is hideous.

  28. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah yes fresh from the ‘Spend 10k and look like a douchebag’ sale.

  29. Coco Huge Butt Tight Jeans Red Boots Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Dulcolax…that’s scary shit man.

  30. George Iloka With Girlfriend
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, could you tell us where her vagina is located.”

  31. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Rob Ford taking a bow after skinning and consuming an Ewok…which turned out to be just a homeless person with a fur coat…Crack, it does a body good.

  32. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    No, really, your hat looks like a black tit.

  33. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Woke up, I had the same clothes on I ha-a-ad, on last night. Must have passed out.

  34. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Hair Curlers Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    I have less and less respect for her as a person but my penis demanded that I reassure her he has no such reservations against Miranda.

  35. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants Covering Face
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass alone deserves its own porn flick.

  36. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    After drooling over Vanessa’s ass this is like putting wiper fluid in your transmission.

  37. Dita Von Teese Bethenny Frankel Holding Bra
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    - Wow, this is great, I have one like it. But something’s wrong with this strap-on. Where’s the beef?
    - Bethenny, it’s not a strap-on.

  38. Mark Wahlberg Drunk Sleepy Behind The Wheel Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Even he’s tired out by his own arrogance. Must be hell living inside his mind.

  39. Arnold Schwarzenegger Joe Manganiello Barnes & Noble Book Signing
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    - Reading is very important. It exercises the mind like working out exercises the body. Take me, if it wasn’t for it I couldn’t bang maids 30 years younger than me. After my wife they filled my life again with sex, sex and… they are just animals I tell you..
    *two security guards start dragging him out*
    - I will not go back to Mariaaaaah!!!…

  40. Arnold Schwarzenegger Joe Manganiello Barnes & Noble Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey everyone, go see my movie! It’s about an action star who’s well past his prime who has to keep making action films to pay his ungrateful ex wife all because he got caught sleeping with his maid and having a kid out of wedlock!”

  41. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe some awful person is letting their child run around unattende- oh crap, I think that’s mine.”

  42. Rosalind Lipsett Holiday Bikini Shoot
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Guys, focus! That ass! Actually the first thing that jumped at me was her face looks 40. A good 40, but still 40.

  43. George Iloka With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aren’t you going to go swimming girl?”
    “No. coming here was just an excuse to wear my hoop earrings with this outfit. I don’t know how to swim. Are you?”
    “Nah girl. I’m wearing too much bling you know what i’m sayin’? ‘sides, I don’t know how to swim either”
    “Why did we come here?”

  44. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    “I saw Indiana Jones shoot you. I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  45. Shane Jacobson Paul Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    Next week on Modern Family…Cam and Mitchell put Lily on a balloon ride unsupervised.
    “Will she be okay?…She’ll be okay. Let’s get mimosas!”

  46. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    This is from the Will i am “I just threw this shit together” collection..

  47. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s starting to look like Mrs. Howell.

  48. Will Ferrell Meagan Good Bow Wow Keshia Chante 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “My agent is so fired”

  49. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ewwww look at those girls in those bikinis !”

  50. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have kavorka ?”

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