The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 12.18.13

December 18th, 2013 // 282 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which you get to enjoy while Fish and I stuff hot meat into our mouths. *rereads* Yep, I’m fine with how that sounds. In case you’re wondering, yes, this is our “holiday party,” occurring at 3:30 PM on a Wednesday at a Bánh mì shop in Central Pennsylvania, so that should go ahead and answer the constant question of “Seriously, how cool is your job?” We’re white guys in our 30s who don’t give a shit about sports. This is all we have left. So, while I gently dab Sriracha from Fish’s cheek please enjoy today’s human sacrifices, starting with James Franco in what I hope is that Duck Dynasty idiot‘s recurring nightmare from now on until he dies, Fergie with her before photo, and Rob Ford dancing, which if you imagine happening slowly and to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ is the most magical thing that will happen to you today.

Once upon a time I was falling in love…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Hair Curlers Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a woman who just realized she ruined her marriage to fuck Justin Beiber.

  2. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I don’t know about a kiss, but at least he got a flower first.

  3. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here making the duck mating call.

  4. Fergie Giant Transvestite Baby Store
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    I give up, which one is Fergie?

  5. Will Ferrell Meagan Good Bow Wow Keshia Chante 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m extremely white and don’t know what I’m doping here”

  6. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    Commented on this photo:

    Well I guess we know which way Joanna Krupa’s husband swings…

  7. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess…chumbawamba?

  8. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Hair Curlers Instagram
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    We call this shade Knob-Slobbing-Whore-Lips red.

  9. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Run child! Be free!

  10. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that John Meyer’s coat?

  11. Will Ferrell Meagan Good Bow Wow Keshia Chante 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you the one that made Kim Kardashian famous?”

  12. Rob Ford Dancing During City Council Session
    Commented on this photo:

    When I prayed that the sarlacc pit would appear and gobble him up, I didn’t think it could actually happen.

  13. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants Covering Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Dat ass.

  14. Rosie Huntington Whiteley Chest Bones Cleavage AEM Association Children Of The World For Rwanda Charity Dinner
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    She didn’t have any clean underwear, so she put her 80′s triangle bush in jail.

  15. Dita Von Teese Bethenny Frankel Holding Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    So, it’s… a muzzle? Looks like a tight fit on Bethenny though.

  16. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    There are no gay men in this photo.

  17. Mark Wahlberg Drunk Sleepy Behind The Wheel Jimmy Kimmel Live
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one time I’m rooting for the terrorists to win.

  18. Mark Wahlberg Drunk Sleepy Behind The Wheel Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I wasn’t tipsy, I’d go screw the terrorists… I mean towel heads.. I mean… Say hi to your motha for me…”

  19. Dita Von Teese Bethenny Frankel Holding Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Bethenny: “So if I put this on men will want to fuck me?”

    Dita: “Not you. Other people.”

  20. Dita Von Teese Bethenny Frankel Holding Bra
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting how Dita is able to maintain the same expression in every public photo of her.

  21. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    Alan Alda's Nutsack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Harder! Harder!” When I reach orgasm. I blow the flower. you stop!”

  22. George Iloka With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that about money not buying happiness?

  23. Coco Huge Butt Tight Jeans Red Boots Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo taken with CoCo’s Blackberry Curve from 2001.

  24. Fergie Giant Transvestite Baby Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a normal lesbian couple to me.

  25. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait a second, I came all the way over here and no one brought a cool hat for me? I’m the Prince dammit!

  26. Cheech Marin Hot Young Wife Darlene Morley
    Commented on this photo:

    “It looks like 2 puppies fighting under a blanket”

  27. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Charles realises he didn’t see “Fancy Dress” on the invitation.

  28. Mark Wahlberg Drunk Sleepy Behind The Wheel Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, is that your motha?”

  29. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just stop. Stop stop stop. I fucking LOVE your hat!”

  30. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when you thought Uggs couldn’t get douchier…

  31. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    Hopalong
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Artie Lange get ordained?

  32. Arnold Schwarzenegger Joe Manganiello Barnes & Noble Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d buy that book. Joe’s cut.

  33. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Young man! You get back here this instant and trip over this uneven sidewalk! I’m going to count to three . . .”

  34. Rosie Huntington Whiteley Chest Bones Cleavage AEM Association Children Of The World For Rwanda Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like an MC Eisher dress. Just keeps your eyes going around in circles to distract you from the cleavage.

    • Doesn’t a woman have to have tits in order to have cleavage?

      Nothing about this woman is attractive. Weird face, no tits, no ass.

  35. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Hopalong
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Judah Friedlander is trying to get in on anything now that 30 Rock ended.

  36. George Iloka With Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure she’s with him because of his sparkling personality.

    • Cock Dr

      And he’s with her because of her honesty and sense of humor…and her ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

      • C’mon Doc!
        You know girls that hot don’t suck dick! They’re pretentious as hell and act like you should be thanking them for letting you fuck them.

      • jack

        That’s only for normal people. Famous people and athletes have different rules

      • Mohawk Disco

        I beg to differ Deacon. Women have a fucked up attitude about this. When you have money and treat them like most athletes do – as in shit – they’ll suck dick. They reserve the pretence and condescention for meeting nice but average guys.

      • This. Girls will suck dick when they feel they have less power than the dick they are sucking. So, for average guys, hot girls won’t suck dick. But for the famous, they’ll suck dick all day long – they’ll swallow than power.

      • Deacon Jones

        So, my take away from this is I have to start treating my wife like shit? Got it! lol

  37. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the very few fuckable pregnant ladies out there.

  38. Prince Charles Syrian Orthodox Church Visit
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “The KKK Sith Master to my right was just explaining to me that he was in the market for a new apprentice. ‘Younger and stronger’ he specified. What’s that? Oh, yes! White. He most certainly must be white.”

  39. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress Eyes Shut
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh fuck yes. She’s physically perfect and has a reputation for dating assholes. We’re made for each other.

  40. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    “…Just a liitle further. It’s okay, mommy thinks Broadway is perfectly safe to cross at lunchtime.”

  41. Shane Jacobson Paul Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s not a plane. This is..”
    “Just shut up, dude.”

  42. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one way to disguise the chicken legs.

  43. Rosie Huntington Whiteley Chest Bones Cleavage AEM Association Children Of The World For Rwanda Charity Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this skinny broad.

  44. Fergie Giant Transvestite Baby Store
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a big one.

  45. Arnold Schwarzenegger Joe Manganiello Barnes & Noble Book Signing
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I rehd Joe’s buuk ahnd eet inspi-awd me to achieve dee bodee I uhl-waze wahnted. Nao I luuk like a retired gym teachah who still theenks leathah jackets are cuul. Eet reelee verks!”

  46. Pharrell Williams Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude makes good music. Fuck those boots, though.

  47. January Jones Son Xander Running Away From Her
    Chuckles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Will you just run out in traffic already? You’re killing my chances of screwing more married men.”

  48. Fergie Giant Transvestite Baby Store
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope those two remember to wear condoms.

  49. Coco Huge Butt Tight Jeans Red Boots Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Delicious. I love those boots on her. I’d love to take them off her even more.

  50. James Franco On Wires Single White Rose
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    The face on the guy in the background. That is all.

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