Welcome back to your regularly scheduled The Crap We Missed which has been five days in the making, so you’re getting the creme de la creme of Boobdick Weirdfacery™. I’ve been scouring the photo agencies the past few days, trying to find pics worthy of a two day delay that you can blame entirely on Fish for making me scrub down this hidden chamber below his basement. So much hair… just all over everything… Anyway, please enjoy captioning the shit out of Mike Tyson and this woman who is basically the human equivalent of that goat from Jurassic Park, Andrew Garfield remembering how glorious those boob-thingies really are, The Asspocalypse, Hilaria Baldwin trying to keep in shape for her spry, young lover, every Hollywood drug addict’s BFF, Steven Tyler groping the only man in sight amidst a group of hot cheerleaders and finally, a mouth even Jon Hamm might struggle with.
Oh yeah, also this. I keep my promises, bitches,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Sweet Jesus….when did we start making cows wear high heels? So cruel.
Huge douche, but I hate him only half as much as I used to since he punched Perez Hilton.
The madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets!
“Performing”?
“Don’t worry sweetie, you’re much cooler than that Suri bitch..”
“I’d eat you with some fava beans. Get it Helen?”
Celebs like to tan because it makes them look healthy and fresh.
excuse me, my female breasts are in need of adjustment. you know, it’s like when your nutsack gets stuck to your leg. or so I have been told.
Moobies!
“If that bitch thinks she’s taking the last Beanie Baby I will punch her right in the mouth.”
Those are the girls from the Boys and Girls Club? You know, I’ve been thinking I should do more hands-on work for a charity . . .
“Russel Brand, if you steal this look, there will be blood, goddamnit . . . there will be blood.”
Jose sure is smooth…
Has his friend distract Hugh from the front while he gets in his sexy time from the back…
I dated a girl like her. All ribcage and floppy tits pushed up to make them look big. Don’t be deceived into that happy smile, Mile.
All ribs and floppy tits? Not according to uncle google!
The exact moment it sank it that she was relevant again for about 8 minutes.
Did her grandma knit her that bathing suit?
Bigger question…. is that her grandma’s ass?
“No, Rachel, that guy in line waiting for a signed copy of your book is not Anthony Bourdain. He still hates you.”
The “Who the fuck is this?” is strong in this one.
This guy is a little queer.
Well this makes complete sense when you consider their proclivity for younger men…
“That’s a naughty word, kid! Who taught you that word? . . . I did, huh? Let me write your parents a check.”
Mike Tyson Cares bout dem titties.
How do I explain that due to the unfreezing process, I’M HAVING DIFFICULTY CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE?!
Fatty Bolger wants him bad
Meth.
Look, Ian… I know you’re gay and all but could you not ruin my image of Gandalf or Magneto with Uggs?
Thanks,
The internet
I’m getting a little “Riseborough” in my pants.
Oopma Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo…
“So me and Emma were all “we are gonna show those paparazzi that we mean to help the world and we made up these cards and… WOAH!!! LOOK AT THOSE TITS!”
One of the few times when a sneaky pap startled Jaden and snapped a pic so quickly that he didn’t have time to muster up his “spoiled, world-weary ennui” face.
True, but it looks like Willow filled in for him.
Nice gut, bro.
Signing her book with what? A meat cleaver?
At first I was relieved that was his daughter. Then I was worried.
The smiles from these girls would be a lot more sincere if they really knew who Steven Tyler was.
At least Ben Stiller is having a good time.
Remember that time you got shitfaced in a crappy park in LA? That was cool.
“You like feet too, right kid? See?! Everyone likes sexy feet.”
Just wow, could you imagine being fingered by that hand?
Camilla’s?
No–and neither can Camilla.
Skarsgård!!!!
“Suck it, Demi!”
Protecting his throat to save his voice for his next awesome, skillfully and beautifully sung song.
Kidding!
He’s a mexican jumping bean…
get it?
This is what happens when celebrities try to paint their own garage.
I think you missed a spot…
I didn’t realize running 310 miles on spring-loaded stilts in ten days between Las Vegas and Los Angeles was a Guinness category.
It is, it is listed right after “Riding a Slinky down 5 miles down Figueroa to Felix Chevrolet”.
Really America? THIS?
I thought it was Lady Fug-a from the thumbnail. She’s achieved that much.
Anyone else think it was Tom Arnold?
I thought it was Tom Sizemore.
Better posing with than posing for. I just ate.
And then we transition into “digging for gold” pose….
and hold it…
and breathe…
Uh, excuse me ma’am. I know you’re famous and all, but we have some complaints about the smell and nobody else was brave enough to come over and tell you your Depends are full.