The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 12.11.13

December 11th, 2013 // 286 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, which occurs on the day we found out Pope Francis was named Time‘s Person of the Year for essentially telling everyone to please, just please start being nice to each other. Seriously, that’s it. The most influential person of the year’s big message is “Stop being cunts. All of you.” And if you were raised Catholic like me (The answer is no, shockingly, no it never happened.), then we’re to believe God himself just called his greatest creation a bunch of greedy, self-interested assholes. Trust me, the irony of me even acknowledging any of this on a tit site and within a feature that is built solely on malice and lust is not lost on me, but maybe that type of self-awareness is at least a starting point.

Am I still including this picture of a dog genitals in here? Yep. Someone’s going to get to post tits online in Hell and I don’t intend to have any gaps in my resume.

Amen,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lily Aldridge Butt Tight Leather Pants Empire State Building Observation Deck
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes you’ve got to say, hey:
    I’m gonna fuck you softly
    I’m gonna screw you gently
    I’m gonna hump you sweetly
    I’m gonna ball you discreetly

  2. Jewel Cleavage American Country Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Been sexy for almost 20 years and going strong.

  3. Lily Aldridge Butt Tight Leather Pants Empire State Building Observation Deck
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I like thin chicks, but Jesus Christ somebody give her a sandwich.

  4. Martina Navratilova Jason Collins High Five Human Rights Day  United Nations Headquarters
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Fingering competition. And she still won.

  5. Taylor Lautner Girlfriend Marie Avgeropoulos Jay Z Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    It’d when your girlfriend has the word average in her name.

  6. January Jones Dragging Son Xander
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Monkey see monkey do…the kid must have seen his mother in action before

  7. January Jones Dragging Son Xander
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, this little fucker has a strong grip.

  8. Martina Navratilova Jason Collins High Five Human Rights Day  United Nations Headquarters
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Next they compared penis size.

  9. Rita Ora Butt Tight Silk Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That hairdo is ugly.

  10. Tobey Maguire Screaming Pawn Sacrifice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Wardrobe by Gap Kids.

  11. January Jones Dragging Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    “What’s that Lassie, They’re dragging Xander to the well??”

  12. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the perfect realistic sex doll.

  13. Sean Penn Jogging Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    Men past the age of 25 have no excuse to wear their baseball cap backwards. Turn that motherfucker around.

    • Paully Boston Baby!

      Fuck that bullshit Don! Ansd you got 5 thumbs up???? Must be some real lame ass non cool motherfuckers in here. B-boy 4 life playa!

  14. Sean Penn Jogging Suit
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Spiccoli’s doing his surly, serious actor shit again. Maybe he should hook up with Jonah Hill and they could have a contest to see who can drop Martin Scorsese’s name the most times in a single sentence.

  15. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Hmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a beautiful woman, no doubt, but does she really not have anything else to do in her life other than posting pics to Instagram?

    • She is a beautiful woman, no doubt, but does she really not have anything else to do in her life other than posting 10 YEAR OLD pics to Instagram?

      There, fixed it for ya.

  16. Helen Flanagan Holding Tiny Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    “See? No balls.”

  17. George W Bush Rubbing Bill Clinton Shoulders Chelsea Clinton Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Weeee, piggyback ride!

  18. Joaquin Phoenix Young Girlfriend Allie Teilz
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Minutes before the officer warned them about the “No panhandling” policy.

  19. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Silly Faces American Country Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    no, no, no Eddie – the proper defensive stance when around LeAnn is one hand on your gun, one hand covering the nutsack.

  20. Brigitte Nielsen Cleavage Leather Pants
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    The man on he right is just a random man who wasn’t fast enough to run away.

  21. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she not heard of porn?

  22. Sean Penn Jogging Suit
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    A nice feature of the jacket is the way it pads Penn’s knuckles when he punches paps. But is seems silly to have bought it in white.

  23. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    DON’T STOP POSTING DAT LOGAN AZZ!

  24. Helen Flanagan Holding Tiny Dog
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I miss the days when Paris Hilton would get out of a car the same way.

  25. Channing Tatum Jonah Hill 22 Jump Street Set
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    - Scorsese loves me more!
    - No, ME!
    *start flapping their arms like teenage girls fighting*

  26. Alicia Keys Huge Butt Tight Pants
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I never realized that Alicia Keys was a Kardashian

  27. Brigitte Nielsen Cleavage Leather Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks a lot like pink, if Pink were a female.

  28. George W Bush Rubbing Bill Clinton Shoulders Chelsea Clinton Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    Chicken fight!

  29. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    If she tried to take Alec Baldwin’s picture I don’t think he’d be so cranky about it.

  30. Liev Schreiber Tiny Swim Trunks The Last Days on Mars Set
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahh, home erectus…what is missing to the right is an ape and then a funny looking fish and to the left a fully erect John Hamm (for the ladies).

  31. Jada Pinkett Smith Braids Shaved Head Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    That outfit should squash those lesbian rumors.

  32. Rita Ora Butt Tight Silk Dress
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, two chocolate bars, an ice cream, a twinkie and I get in your car. But no funny business!

  33. Enrique Iglesias Making Out With Falen Bonsett 101.3 KDWB’ Jingle Ball
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Graduates of the Kelsey Grammer School of Kissing have gone on to lucrative careers in porn and singing.

  34. George W Bush Rubbing Bill Clinton Shoulders Chelsea Clinton Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, if my hands are here, guess what’s poking you in the back!”

  35. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    In Italian, her last name is pronounced ‘Fatzo’.

  36. George W Bush Rubbing Bill Clinton Shoulders Chelsea Clinton Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Its not every day that a former president’s daughter gets to witness her father being mounted by an even older former president.

  37. Tobey Maguire Screaming Pawn Sacrifice Set
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “They didn’t cast me in the Spiderman reboot?!?! Two can play that game!” said Tobey Maguire on the set of Rain Man 2.

  38. Channing Tatum Jonah Hill 22 Jump Street Set
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ! Your tits are eating my arm!

  39. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    I can no longer comment on her because my keyboard refuses to be touched by sticky fingers.

  40. President George W Bush Giggling At Bono Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey! Easy now Dubya, easy! its only the ceremonial vuvuzelas!”

  41. Sean Penn Jogging Suit
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Team Eat Me…yup, sounds about right

  42. Joaquin Phoenix Young Girlfriend Allie Teilz
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing Allie never knew her father.

  43. George W Bush Rubbing Bill Clinton Shoulders Chelsea Clinton Nelson Mandela Memorial Service
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    Dubya can hardly contain his excitement. Bill promised to take him to Chuck E. Cheese if he stopped shouting “Boring!” during the memorial service.

  44. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Tragically, the universe would come to an end one day when a paparazza in a bikini tried to take a photo of her own ass, creating a zero point of singularity that tore apart the fabric of space.

    • Dox

      Actually what it did was invert the tachyon stream in subreal space, causing a gravitonic pulse to scramble near reality, which in turn re-emerged in real space/time somewhere around 600 million years ago, causing a retrograde mutation in a small primate species, striking them with a slight neurosis.

      And that’s why Kim Kardashian has a huge ass. And is famous.

      (fuck that was a long way to go for a kardashian joke.)

    • crb

      As long as you don’t cross the streams, you’re fine.

      Besides, it’s all ball-bearings these days anyway.

  45. Tobey Maguire Screaming Pawn Sacrifice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Never let you dog off leash.

  46. Enrique Iglesias Making Out With Falen Bonsett 101.3 KDWB’ Jingle Ball
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    - A breath of my soul gently touches your most intimate part lifting your essence to a higher plain of sentual pleasure.
    - This is not one of your music videos, Enrique. Now stop creeping me out or I’ll kick you in the balls!

  47. Jada Pinkett Smith Braids Shaved Head Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Now there is a guy with a look that says it all plus a penis gesture just to ram things home.

  48. Taylor Lautner Girlfriend Marie Avgeropoulos Jay Z Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    “When they said I’d get famous by going out with the Twilight dude I thought they meant the one who plays Bella”

  49. Rocsi Diaz Naked Body Paint PETA Campaign
    George Washington
    Commented on this photo:

    Vegetation growing on human body is called mold – it is a caused by poor hygiene as a result of not showering often. Eew

  50. Joanna Krupa Cleavage Holding Tiny Dog Angels For Animal Rescue Benefit
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s hosting an “animal rescue” event by showing off her purebreed Pomeranian? I don’t think she understands exactly what this event is about.

    • cc

      Her heart is in the right place but I don’t think we’re looking at a deep thinker here.

      Speaking of the right place, let’s see her vagina.

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