The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 11.14.12

November 14th, 2012 // 545 Comments

“Honey, would you cover up? Your lady penises are practically falling out of that thing.” – Ryan Seacrest

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where it appears Gollum actually didn’t get too fucked up by the fires of Mount Doom after all, Jessica Simpson‘s weight loss selfishly robs me of a joke for this Topher Grace pic, and even Tobey Maguire needs to get super high to stand being around Tobey Maguire.

“Hey Madonna, want to help ruin everybody’s evening?” – Me, just now, because my soul is black,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

 

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Prince Charles Maori Welcome Ceremony
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Suit and sunglasses man is there because they really aren’t sure this doesn’t end with Charles swimming in a boiling cauldron with carrots and potatoes.

  2. Kristian Schuler Grabbing Penelope Cruz Breast Kiss Superstition Goodbye Campari Calendar Event
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This motherfucker is trying to steal my “Hug/accidently sideswipe the boob” move.

    Before you try this, know that the move “might” get you 3 months in prison.

  3. Madonna Licking Microphone Madison Square Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry guys – old ladies don’t drool enough, so she won’t electrocute herself :-(

  4. Bill Maher
    CaptainObvious
    Commented on this photo:

    M.I.A. no longer Missing in Action.

  5. Camille Grammer Cleavage TV Guide Hot List Party
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice rings. I think they’re from the Frasier Residual Checks Collection.

  6. Lizzy Caplan Nipples Cleavage See Through Dress GQ Men Of The Year Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s on my watch list.

  7. Madonna Licking Microphone Madison Square Garden
    Jeremy
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’ve never seen a microphone go completely limp, you’re about to.

  8. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she believe that at some point a new tooth is gonna grow in and fill that gap?

  9. Elijah Wood Kerry Bishe Photobooth
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he paraplegic?

  10. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep expecting to see the millennium falcon come flying out of there sideways.

  11. Christina Ricci Midriff Miniskirt The Ninth Annual CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress might’ve worked 2 titties… oops, I meant years ago.

  12. Chloe Simms Cleavage Book Launch Party
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she even able to talk with those chompers?

  13. Julianne Hough Side Boob GQ Men Of The Year Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s showing that she can be a proud beard for Seacrest. Look everyone! I have tits!

  14. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like an ad for Super Glue

  15. Kristian Schuler Grabbing Penelope Cruz Breast Kiss Superstition Goodbye Campari Calendar Event
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    there are better tits to “accidentally” touch.

  16. Mischa Barton Andre Borchers Collection Launch
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    so sad to see bi-polar disorder take another one.

  17. Prince Charles Maori Welcome Ceremony
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone throw up that Bush gif of him dancing with those natives playing the drums, that was hilarious

  18. Sylvester Stallone Sunglasses Bullet To The Head Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that *really* John Hamm’s penis?

  19. Tobey Maguire Tired The Ninth Annual CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pizzaface’s leading man days appear to be over.

  20. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    Enidaj
    Commented on this photo:

    When she was younger the gap was endearing, not so much now.

  21. Madonna Licking Microphone Madison Square Garden
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What a wonderful role model… I think the Africans living in the mud hut are asking for their kid back now.

  22. Ashton Kutcher Sitting Behind Laker Girls
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    If you were a celebrity, wouldnt you rather just have tons of anonymous sex with girls like this, than bother to date some other famous person and have to put up with all the baggage?

  23. Cheyenne Tozzi Bikini Runway
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m… confused.

  24. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me she’s British, please tell me she’s British

  25. Madonna Licking Microphone Madison Square Garden
    Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    Zzzzzzzttt!!!

    • pavement_smear

      It may seem an odd way to apply defibrillation, but this is the same tried and true method she uses to resuscitate her career.

  26. Geri Halliwell Cleavage Fur Coat
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Run!!!
    Fucking run! Geri’s been bit!!!!

  27. Chloe Simms Cleavage Book Launch Party
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    plastic tits and fake white beaver teeth…what the fuck and who the fuck is this creature??

  28. Mischa Barton Andre Borchers Collection Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    “My tits and fading good looks still don’t outweigh my aggressive saddlebags and flabby flat untoned ass? What does that mean?”

  29. Camille Grammer Cleavage TV Guide Hot List Party
    Commented on this photo:

    And THAT, people, is why she had IBS.

  30. Prince Charles Maori Welcome Ceremony
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    White man, white man! On 6. Rape the land. On the center! Ready! – Prince Charles suddenly realized, a friendly game of football just turned into something else.

  31. Madonna Licking Microphone Madison Square Garden
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY to people pay attention to these attention whores

  32. Chloe Simms Cleavage Book Launch Party
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take 3, please

  33. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Butt Yoga Pants
    Diablo Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me, I need to check the spread on tomorrow nights game.

  34. Mischa Barton Andre Borchers Collection Launch
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good, Mischa.

  35. Julianne Hough Side Boob GQ Men Of The Year Party
    Kodos
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot, but she deserves better.

  36. Camille Grammer Cleavage TV Guide Hot List Party
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    You can always spot an awesome surgeon when the cheek implants slide over the orbital bone as the neck turns.

    Awesome work, Dr. Jennings. (hrumph hrumph)

  37. Kristian Schuler Grabbing Penelope Cruz Breast Kiss Superstition Goodbye Campari Calendar Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “A robot with boundary issues?”
    “Yes!”
    “I hate your charades.”

  38. Ashton Kutcher Sitting Behind Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sooo… What’s it *really* like banging Mila Kunis? You realize you could redeem a lot of your douchiness by telling everyone and providing pictures and video, right?

    • Really? *this* is what strikes a negative chord? That every hetero male on here would like to see her getting it on EVEN with this shitbag wonder of talentlessness? You know you do. But if it’s just because it’s unfunny….. ok. I can accept that!

      Either that guy is thinking this or that he want’s Ashton to go all Brokeback Mountain on him.

  39. Prince Charles Maori Welcome Ceremony
    Matt
    Commented on this photo:

    For the last time, I said you’re not fucking my dog!

  40. Lizzy Caplan Nipples Cleavage See Through Dress GQ Men Of The Year Party
    Commented on this photo:

    fantastic

  41. Georgia Salpa Cleavage Bra See Through Dress Chloe Simms Book Launch Party
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’ll stick with her Google Image search results…

  42. Bryan Cranston TIME Person Of The Year Panel
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Here is your next Republican Presidntial Candidate…

  43. Ashton Kutcher Sitting Behind Laker Girls
    Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I keep tasting vinegar. They’re still behind us, aren’t they?”
    “Yup.”

  44. Imogen Thomas Cleavage Pregnant Chloe Simms Book Launch
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “TELL ME I’M STILL PRETTY! SEE?? LOOK AT THIS SMILE, I’M PRETTY MOTHERFUCKER!”

  45. Topher Grace Beard Popeyes Chicken Bag
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if he had the red beans and rice..that’s my favorite….

  46. Cheyenne Tozzi Bikini Runway
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice face, average body

  47. Bryan Cranston TIME Person Of The Year Panel
    Commented on this photo:

    He needs just a little schtickle of happiness.

  48. Elijah Wood Kerry Bishe Photobooth
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Elijah play both sides of the field? Is he expanding his sexual repertoire?

  49. Vanessa Paradis Gap In Teeth Mouth Open Fading Gigolo Set
    Commented on this photo:

    SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!!! That’s fucking horrifying.

    • hijkmno

      As soon as the photo appeared, I couldn’t help myself, I said out loud, “Jesus F*cking Christ!”

      I work in a school. A Catholic school.

  50. Jaden Smith Headphones
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the kid of Will Smith who is a boy but looks like a girl, or that the one who is a girl but looks like a boy……aw fuck it…we’ll be stuck listening to “its” music for the next 20 years!

Leave A Comment