The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.9.13

October 9th, 2013 // 369 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that I realize has the unprecedented issue of Kelly Osbourne being the lead pic. First, don’t panic. It probably won’t ever happen again. Second, relax and take a deep breath. The prison tats, hair, general face region and fact that she is Kelly Osbourne should now be overriding whatever feelings you’re having from the inexplicable and sudden appearance of her cleavage. Ok, we’re good here? Moving on.

Today’s TCWM gallery is a bit light, because THANKS OBAMA, but makes up for in quality what it lacks in quantity to use another inane cliche void of real thought, analysis, lack of racist hatred, ect. We’ve got Lena Dunham actually looking amazing for onc–AHAHA, no I couldn’t finish that, she looks like she constantly reeks of urine, which goes double for Mischa Barton. Then there’s health nuts Lindsay & Dina Lohan and Richard Simmons, because this cold, dead feeling inside isn’t something I think I should experience alone.

Here, rinse your eyes out with today’s Final Five. I know, I’m still a sonofabitch,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture would be a lot better if she held her hands up about six inches higher.

  2. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, wait, wait…I thought Luke burned Darth Vader on Endor after he escaped from the 2nd Death Star…is this a spoiler from Episode VII?

  3. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s about goddamn time they made a Power Girl movie!

  4. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    Sabado Gigante
    Commented on this photo:

    Um…uhh…um…

    ::begins penning spec script for “Ava Goes to Ireland,” for release in the summer of 2016::

  5. Gerard Butler Hugging Young Woman
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    The look that’s haunted many a father’s nightmares.

  6. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Locklear looks more like Sambora than Sambora does.

  7. Sean Penn Thin Moustache Pissed Off Look The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty Centerpiece Gala Presentation 51st New York Film Festival
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure he’s trying to look back at the last picture of Richie Sambora’s daughter.

  8. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she’s stretching, but Dina is actually looking for one of the logs in the water sharp enough to impale Lindsay on for drinking the last of her Stoli Razz.

  9. Philip Seymour Hoffman Dumpy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    A man should look as if he had bought his clothes with intelligence, put them on with care, and then forgotten all about them.

    - Sir Hardy Amies

  10. Laura Dern Crazy Neck Veins Nebraska Premiere 51st New York Film Festival
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    They don’t get any more leathery than that.

    And her dress looks like it might be leather too.

  11. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    So it looks like Lindsay is the one being lowered into the laser-protected coke vault?

  12. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I honestly thought she was that midget lady from Miley Cyrus concerts.

  13. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    *shudder* This reminds me of my tits right after I finished breast feeding. Don’t worry, they perked back up! I don’t think Richard will be so lucky.

  14. Billy Dee Williams Talking To Paparazzo Holding Shirt Up
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that your pimp cane, Mr. Calrissian?”
    “What? No, my doctor said I have to take it easy on- sure, it’s my pimp cane. Jesus.”

  15. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Richie has obviously stolen Heather’s hormone replacement meds. Give them back you bastard!

  16. Paris Hilton DJing Snoop Lion Smoking Blunt Good Time Single Release Party Crate Nightclub
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    A single release party? Too bad. When Paris Hilton is around, there are generally multiple releases.

  17. Billy Dee Williams Talking To Paparazzo Holding Shirt Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have told them all about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab.

  18. Philip Seymour Hoffman Dumpy Clothes
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    A ham sandwich in your pocket doesn’t *quite* equate to the ‘Jon Hamm’ everyone is talking about.

  19. Paris Hilton DJing Snoop Lion Smoking Blunt Good Time Single Release Party Crate Nightclub
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I caught a buzz just viewing this photo.
    Still not gonna buy any of those wretched Hot Pockets though.

  20. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    eh, I don’t really know how instagram (or marriages) work but maybe if she generates enough attention with these posts Ice T fucks her? Or doesn’t?

  21. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, when their daughter gets her obligatory nose-job, she is going to be quite the looker. What?! We were all thinking it!!

    • Walter White

      Indeed. Her mom had a nose like a Macaw in high school. Hopefully she doesn’t have those concentration camp stick legs like her mom.

  22. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she making the “getting a blowjob while at the podium” face like that scene in Police Acad- HOLY FUCK THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

  23. Eliza Doolittle Butt Tight Backless Dress BFI Luminous Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder what would happen if that little silk ribbon bow was abruptly yanked?

    • Dox

      For you?
      Probably mace, taser, a lengthy prison term, gang rape in the shower, daily beatings, and finding true love behind bars.

      Might be worth it, though.

  24. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    For those craving some underbutt there ya go.

  25. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Me: *carefully sets down 2cnd fig newton*

  26. Selma Blair Black Eye
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t fool me, photo agency. That’s Ron Perlman and he’s looking damn good for his age. So back off, haters!

  27. Josh Hartnett Rolled Up Jeans Loafers
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s only one explanation: Josh Hartnett is an immortal who beheaded Shia LaBeouf and absorbed his douche powers.

  28. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Cardinal Haze Von DIKKeman XII
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope Ice(d) T(ea) has a separate bathroom when this fucking slob destroys it twice a day.

    Oofaa!

  29. Mischa Barton Fat Belly Yellow Teeth I Will Follow You Into The Dark Premiere
    Kodos
    Commented on this photo:

    The teeth and the cadaver eyes give it away…

  30. Rita Ora Midriff Low Rise Pants Rimmel Commercial Set
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Government monitoring stops for one week and we already have a fully spliced Rihanna Cyrus!?! And don’t get me started on the too much clothing argument, how else were they going to cover up the stitch marks?

  31. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Those look like two wet tea bags.

  32. Selma Blair Black Eye
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Hell, boy.

  33. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperately hoping his flamboyant swim cap would divert attention from his moobs, Richard realized too late that he was woefully wrong in his assessment.

  34. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    Echo5
    Commented on this photo:

    Now would be good time for her to discover she has razor sharp claws that extend from the back of her hands.

  35. Sean Penn Thin Moustache Pissed Off Look The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty Centerpiece Gala Presentation 51st New York Film Festival
    martian leader
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘seriously. fuck with me.’

  36. Josh Hartnett Rolled Up Jeans Loafers
    martian leader
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘s’why we calls im left eye’.

    m

  37. Hayden Panettiere Butt Tight Pants Heels GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Her panettiere is not that great.

  38. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    If I told you all that Richie was actually preparing for the lead role in the major motion picture production of “Mrs. Storkel”, the compelling yet sad story of my 8th grade home economics teacher who bravely perseveres as the first ever gender reassignment surgery patient in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I bet you all would end your snarky comments.

  39. Sean Penn Thin Moustache Pissed Off Look The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty Centerpiece Gala Presentation 51st New York Film Festival
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Well done, Sean. I can’t tell if it’s a squirrel, a wig or a stuffed animal. Always keep ‘em guessing, I say.

  40. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    One does not merely become an insufferable blight on humanity. It takes a lot of hard work and exercise. And stretching. Lots and lots of stretching.

  41. Mischa Barton Fat Belly Yellow Teeth I Will Follow You Into The Dark Premiere
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly she thought this was the premiere of “I Will Follow You to the Buffet.” She looks so happy though. I don’t have the heart to tell her.

  42. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Before I begin, I would just like to say, ‘There are doughnuts, right? I was promised there would be doughnuts.’”

  43. Billy Dee Williams Talking To Paparazzo Holding Shirt Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Star Wars nerd taking photos of paparazzi and Billy Dee Williams back.

  44. Sylvie Van Der Vaart Bikini
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s missing a stud.

  45. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor girl seems to be suffering from Shelly Winters syndrome.

    • crb

      and by “Shelly Winters syndrome”, you mean “Jonathan Winters syndrome”?

      -no wait, you’re right, I’m wrong.

      There’s no way the bitch is that funny.

  46. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s cute. The only thing don’t like is the shitty tattoos. I totally would.

  47. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    eeeewwwwwwwwwwwww

  48. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what life is like with zero talent, double-stacked fakers and huge, gross ass implants. All she does is post pictures of herself.

  49. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    a
    Commented on this photo:

    Good morning, Richard Simmons.

  50. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    Uncle Chester Likes T 'N A
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course we missed a lot of crap today. We kept talking about those GD truckers.

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