The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.9.13

October 9th, 2013 // 369 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that I realize has the unprecedented issue of Kelly Osbourne being the lead pic. First, don’t panic. It probably won’t ever happen again. Second, relax and take a deep breath. The prison tats, hair, general face region and fact that she is Kelly Osbourne should now be overriding whatever feelings you’re having from the inexplicable and sudden appearance of her cleavage. Ok, we’re good here? Moving on.

Today’s TCWM gallery is a bit light, because THANKS OBAMA, but makes up for in quality what it lacks in quantity to use another inane cliche void of real thought, analysis, lack of racist hatred, ect. We’ve got Lena Dunham actually looking amazing for onc–AHAHA, no I couldn’t finish that, she looks like she constantly reeks of urine, which goes double for Mischa Barton. Then there’s health nuts Lindsay & Dina Lohan and Richard Simmons, because this cold, dead feeling inside isn’t something I think I should experience alone.

Here, rinse your eyes out with today’s Final Five. I know, I’m still a sonofabitch,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sean Penn Thin Moustache Pissed Off Look The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty Centerpiece Gala Presentation 51st New York Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is he supposed to be? I’m guessing Mr Pink.

  2. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m hungry.”

  3. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, we’ll always have “Body Heat”

  4. Eliza Doolittle Butt Tight Backless Dress BFI Luminous Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Meh. Eliza-Does-Nothing for me.

  5. Gerard Butler Hugging Young Woman
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like “Wilmer Valderrama’s Guide To Picking Up Middle School Hotties” sold at least ONE copy.

  6. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look you cracker ass bitches, just because I’m black don’t mean I sell drugs. Now what do you need?”

  7. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that putrid smell coming out of your mama’s coochie?”
    “Just turn your head the other way and hope the wind changes”.

  8. Billy Dee Williams Talking To Paparazzo Holding Shirt Up
    Commented on this photo:

    “BILLYYYYY!!! SIGN MY HAPPY TRAIL!!!!! “

  9. Sylvie Van Der Vaart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Silly girl. You can’t teach Paparazzi to fetch.

  10. Mischa Barton Fat Belly Yellow Teeth I Will Follow You Into The Dark Premiere
    MisterSHO
    Commented on this photo:

    California … Caaaalifornia … Pizza Kitchen.

  11. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Art Crow
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I get some censorship here!

  12. Selma Blair Black Eye
    Commented on this photo:

    She was a brunette BEFORE going into the gas station bathroom Watson. Note the key and ridiculous keychain, held delicately wrapped in tissue. Also the the jeans waistline adjustment, and the look of disgust.

  13. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate her more than celebrities who have committed crimes, but I do love boobs.

    (Sigh.)

  14. Mischa Barton Fat Belly Yellow Teeth I Will Follow You Into The Dark Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen anyone who can so quickly alternate between “deathly skinny meth addict” and “pudgy fast food addict” before, sometimes in the same week.

  15. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, now I hate boobs.

  16. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This reminds me, I need to get hamhocks at the grocery store on my way home from work

  17. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Commented on this photo:

    To be fair, everybody keeps saying, “Stick to tits, Fish!”

    • Hey Fella, Are You George Zimmerman?

      I bet you those assholes are crying for those political posts now. Ha Ha rethugs!

  18. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I see absolutely no relief in sight.

  19. Laura Dern Crazy Neck Veins Nebraska Premiere 51st New York Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she wearing the seat from a 1974 Pinto?

  20. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    My grandfather would totally bang the chick on the right.

  21. Billy Dee Williams Talking To Paparazzo Holding Shirt Up
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me this video is going to end with Farrah Abraham pretending he released it without her knowledge.

  22. Josh Hartnett Rolled Up Jeans Loafers
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t even *own* a TV.

  23. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone just found out they got the lead in the Kathy Griffin biopic.

  24. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she would benefit from a seminar on “how to not kill boners in the workplace”

  25. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    You mean the person who ate Kathleen Turner.

  26. Laura Dern Crazy Neck Veins Nebraska Premiere 51st New York Film Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice leather.

    Her dress is pretty nice too.

  27. Coco Huge Butt Cleavage See Through Clothes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    the thing I can’t wrap my brain around is that she THINKS she’s sexy. Nobody has been that wrong since they filled the Hindenberg with hydrogen.

  28. Philip Seymour Hoffman Dumpy Clothes
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Slobwear by Phillip

  29. Laura Dern Crazy Neck Veins Nebraska Premiere 51st New York Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Melanie Griffith.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      She looks like a Victoria Secret model compared to Melanie Griffith.

      And that’s not me out saying that… it’s an actual quote from Antonio Banderas.

  30. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    Commented on this photo:

    My grandmother was buried in that exact same dress.

  31. Paris Hilton DJing Snoop Lion Smoking Blunt Good Time Single Release Party Crate Nightclub
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Look! When I pull the string, the cow says “Moooooo”!

  32. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Miss Dunham, when I grow up, I want to be a hideous overrated slob just like you!

  33. Philip Seymour Hoffman Dumpy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    My guess he’s not listening to a dance track.

  34. Dina Lohan Butt Yoga Pants Leg Stretch Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Loser buys.

  35. Rita Ora Midriff Low Rise Pants Rimmel Commercial Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there is a very cruel stylist.

  36. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Jabba the Turner

  37. Eliza Doolittle Butt Tight Backless Dress BFI Luminous Gala
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The porn films were so much easier to make after Pete hit on the idea of calling the shoots “Galas”.

  38. Sylvie Van Der Vaart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m willing to overlook the fact that her last name sounds like a euphemism for a queef.

  39. Lena Dunham Gross Mouth Women In The Workplace Reducing Stress With Meditation
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly Osbourne is suddenly looking a bit more attractive in comparison.

  40. Rita Ora Midriff Low Rise Pants Rimmel Commercial Set
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m going to assume that Rimmel is a disease killing condom.

  41. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Hey Now
    Commented on this photo:

    “Somebody pour water on him! He’s beached himself!”

  42. Mischa Barton Fat Belly Yellow Teeth I Will Follow You Into The Dark Premiere
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body was nutritionally deprived because of drugs that once she does eat, the body basically says, “Store everything we can! Don’t know when we’ll get another meal again!”

  43. Kathleen Turner Fat Neck Neck Rolls Womens Media Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Put her in an arena with Lena Dunham, a knife, and a quart of Ben & Jerrys.

  44. Selma Blair Black Eye
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperate to find virgin blood before she fully reverts to her true age, Selma rushes to the nearest comic convention.

  45. Sylvie Van Der Vaart Bikini
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, who will start the bidding on this lovely trophy wife? Do I hear 10 million?

  46. Paris Hilton DJing Snoop Lion Smoking Blunt Good Time Single Release Party Crate Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    wow a paris hilton single release party?
    thats some serious cred there, snoop lion.

  47. Richard Simmons Man Boobs Swimming Cap Speedo Swim for Relief Benefiting Hurricane Sandy Recovery Event
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I suddenly find myself rooting for the hurricane.

  48. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage The Black Diamond Affair
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice try with the purple hair, boobs and wide-eyed yet vacant expression. Katy Perry you will never be.

  49. Heather Locklear Haggard Face Ava Sambora Cleavage Sweet Sixteen Party Richie Sambora Feathered Bangs
    Commented on this photo:

    Old rockers with their poofy dyed hairdos are the best.

  50. Hayden Panettiere Butt Tight Pants Heels GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    One good reason to watch Nashville. Clare Bowen being the other.

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