The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.26.11

October 26th, 2011 // 523 Comments

“I’m trying, black microphone! Stupid Botox…”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring another Charles and Di moment – “Oh, how dreadful, right into the Dyson sweeper. Confound it’s ergonomics!” – Kim Kardashian still wearing pants her ass has no business being in (Feel free to apply this statement to anything short of a circus tent and/or deflated hot-air balloon.) and Jennifer Lopez showing Sarah Jessica Parker how it’s done. “Black microphones! Black microphones! Black microphones as far as the eye can see! AHHHHHH!!”

Inside jokes are positively ribald,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Pippy Longcockings

    I used to watch Sex & the City just so I could jerk off to SJP. Now I feel secretly ashamed…

    • You should have always felt ashamed….

    • Weirdo

      She seems to get more hideously ugly every year. It makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out!

    • Mickey "The Duke " O' Shaunessy

      She occasionally had pokies , so I guy can understand . They all have aged , but some still look bangable , like Kristen Davis .

    • UY

      She was so incredibly hot in LA Story. That was a very long time ago.

      • terry

        I was just thinking that. Now she is an old ass Hollywood MILF!
        Trust me, Matthew has younger poontang on the side.

    • jus sayin

      Yeah, you should fly that shame flag high. She is incredibly unattractive. Not only that but…you watched sex and the city? And you are a guy? Man, I would rather go to the dentist. And chicks are supposed to love that shit. Tell me…do you any all your girlfriends get together and discuss “SJP’s” wardrobe. Might be another flag in your future.

      • Mocaleenie

        The problem is that she’s aging & she’s still trying to maintain a figure of a woman in her 20′s. At a certain age you have to decide whether you’ll settle for a few fat rolls & a youthful face or a hot bod with a haggard face.

  2. Sarah Jessica Parker
    TRUTH
    Commented on this photo:

    the wicked witch of manhatten comes out early for halloween …

  3. Sarah Jessica Parker
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    If I’m a horse now what was I in a past life.

  4. Sarah Jessica Parker
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    ???

  5. Teri Hatcher Cleavage
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    At least I look better than the previous horse.

  6. Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    If you best golf commentary voice: And here is Jennifer showing us her bedroom action… cupping the balls and stroking the shaft, and look at that, she’s opened her mouth to receive, hopefully it’s a hole in one, she really needs this.

  7. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    Pfffft, Mummy has one of these at home and it’s worth 20 times as much.

  8. Amber Heard Butt
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    ScarJo’s porn double is impressive

  9. Adriana Lima Sports Bra Midriff
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at those muffin tops, she’s really letting herself go…

  10. Sarah Jessica Parker
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not sure how to motivate her to go away…the carrot or the stick?

  11. Sarah Jessica Parker
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t hit me with the stick, I’ll trot.

  12. Teri Hatcher Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Her weight has soared to 85 pounds.

  13. Verne Troyer Kissing Two Chicks
    Commented on this photo:

    A short news update, famous midget Verne Troyer makes a tiny mistake today by making a small ejaculation while two girls give him tiny kisses.

  14. Verne Troyer Kissing Two Chicks
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes micro-me very happy as well.

  15. Prince Charles
    Mariahbaby
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he just realize his dad is also a cousin and his cousing is also his uncle?

  16. Amber Heard Butt
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘The Bum Diaries’…my kind of movie.

    All joking aside, imagine that ass in those black panties…

  17. Prince Charles
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    So.. Beautiful… I may… Cry…

  18. Lamar Odom Khloe Kardashian DWTS
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Your personal buffet/trough is ready mam.

  19. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    So many things to see when the blinders are off!

  20. Sarah Jessica Parker
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohhh wow…geez…yeah…no way that’s going in here!

  21. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are very cuppable.

  22. Adriana Lima Sports Bra Midriff
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    fatty, fatty bobalattee!

  23. Johnny Depp Security Guy Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Mine.

  24. Teri Hatcher Cleavage
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    How crooked is my face from this angle?

  25. Teri Hatcher Cleavage
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Her nose is not quite as big as the horse’s but it is really messed up.

  26. Sarah Jessica Parker
    guy rossi
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad Ferris Buehler can’t take a day off that. ZING!!!

  27. Jennifer Lopez
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she wound that hair a little tight, she can’t even close her mouth.

    • Dirty Old Geezer

      Pulling ones hair up like that is like a mini facelift, my wife, God rest in peace, used to do it all the time. She looked wonderful, but then again she was 82 years old.

  28. Rip Taylor
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome Halloween costume!

  29. Prince Charles
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these days Mum will let us have that indoor plumbing we’ve been promised…until then, it’s another chamber pot. *trying not to cry*

  30. Prince Charles
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Here I am, heir to the throne, and I am stuck doing ‘The Antiques Roadshow’.

  31. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Jeans
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass will leave the room approximately 20 seconds after she does.

  32. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    Manthou Artdust
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t even bother, commenters. She is perfection.

  33. Rumer Willis
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a chin, it’s a prow.

  34. Rumer Willis
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    Subliminal t-shirt: Drink enough Jack Daniels and this face won’t bother you as much.

  35. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Paps to SJP: “Give us your best Edvard Munch “Scream” face, cause we’re tired of making horse jokes,”

  36. Rumer Willis
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gotta do something with that chin!!! Try sanding it down.

  37. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    horse is a horse, of course, of course,
    And no one can talk to a horse of course
    That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous SJP.

    Go right to the source and ask the horse
    She’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
    She’s always on a steady course.
    Talk to SJP.

    People yakkity-yak the street and waste your time of day
    But SJP will never speak unless she has something to say

    A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
    And this one’ll talk ’til her voice is hoarse.
    You never heard of a talking horse?

    Well listen to this: “I’m SJP.”

  38. Lara Bingle Bikini
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that me that smells?

  39. Adriana Lima Sports Bra Midriff
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did her breasts go?

  40. Prince Charles
    Manthou Artdust
    Commented on this photo:

    Harry gets to troll for strange and I’m stuck being Camilla’s tampon.

  41. Prince Charles
    sheldon
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh dear, I believe I just shat myself.

  42. Verne Troyer Kissing Two Chicks
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, bitches, short on cash?”

  43. Lara Bingle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Mark? What mark? Where the bloody hell are ya?

  44. Johnny Depp Security Guy Grab
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Falling down drunk again I see.

  45. Paula Deen
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    In a second her head will open and we’ll see it’s really Arnold Schwarzenegger.

  46. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhh…what movie was this…”Put in Boobs?”

  47. Lara Bingle Bikini
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a model? It looks like somebody used her face to beat a dingo to death.

  48. Prince Charles
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “……the Royal Cumshot Catcher…., oh my….”

  49. Verne Troyer Kissing Two Chicks
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks as though he’s really looking forward to the pots of gold.

  50. Lamar Odom Khloe Kardashian DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    So a Klingon, a Wookie, and Lando Calrissian go to a dance competition…

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