“I’m trying, black microphone! Stupid Botox…”
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring another Charles and Di moment – “Oh, how dreadful, right into the Dyson sweeper. Confound it’s ergonomics!” – Kim Kardashian still wearing pants her ass has no business being in (Feel free to apply this statement to anything short of a circus tent and/or deflated hot-air balloon.) and Jennifer Lopez showing Sarah Jessica Parker how it’s done. “Black microphones! Black microphones! Black microphones as far as the eye can see! AHHHHHH!!”
Inside jokes are positively ribald,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I used to watch Sex & the City just so I could jerk off to SJP. Now I feel secretly ashamed…
You should have always felt ashamed….
She seems to get more hideously ugly every year. It makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out!
She occasionally had pokies , so I guy can understand . They all have aged , but some still look bangable , like Kristen Davis .
She was so incredibly hot in LA Story. That was a very long time ago.
I was just thinking that. Now she is an old ass Hollywood MILF!
Trust me, Matthew has younger poontang on the side.
Yeah, you should fly that shame flag high. She is incredibly unattractive. Not only that but…you watched sex and the city? And you are a guy? Man, I would rather go to the dentist. And chicks are supposed to love that shit. Tell me…do you any all your girlfriends get together and discuss “SJP’s” wardrobe. Might be another flag in your future.
The problem is that she’s aging & she’s still trying to maintain a figure of a woman in her 20′s. At a certain age you have to decide whether you’ll settle for a few fat rolls & a youthful face or a hot bod with a haggard face.
the wicked witch of manhatten comes out early for halloween …
I was thinking… Ben Kingsley in the role of Ghandi….
If I’m a horse now what was I in a past life.
You guys are mean. Horses are so cute compared to her.
???
At least I look better than the previous horse.
If you best golf commentary voice: And here is Jennifer showing us her bedroom action… cupping the balls and stroking the shaft, and look at that, she’s opened her mouth to receive, hopefully it’s a hole in one, she really needs this.
+1
Yep, winner.
Pfffft, Mummy has one of these at home and it’s worth 20 times as much.
ScarJo’s porn double is impressive
lol she wishes she was 10% as hot as this chick.
Look at those muffin tops, she’s really letting herself go…
You noticed the muffin tops, but not the blueberries? Interesting…
I am not sure how to motivate her to go away…the carrot or the stick?
Please don’t hit me with the stick, I’ll trot.
Her weight has soared to 85 pounds.
A short news update, famous midget Verne Troyer makes a tiny mistake today by making a small ejaculation while two girls give him tiny kisses.
This makes micro-me very happy as well.
Did he just realize his dad is also a cousin and his cousing is also his uncle?
‘The Bum Diaries’…my kind of movie.
All joking aside, imagine that ass in those black panties…
This should do http://i.imgur.com/EXgmv.jpg
thank you!
I am forever in your debt.
Very appropriate reference. Much obliged.
Oh gross! I don’t want to see that!!
So.. Beautiful… I may… Cry…
Your personal buffet/trough is ready mam.
So many things to see when the blinders are off!
Ohhh wow…geez…yeah…no way that’s going in here!
Those are very cuppable.
Yeah, and remember what they were like before she started reproducing…*sigh*
fatty, fatty bobalattee!
Mine.
No, you wish.
On an unrelated track of thought, why is he being dry-humped by Kirk Douglas ?
How crooked is my face from this angle?
Her nose is not quite as big as the horse’s but it is really messed up.
Too bad Ferris Buehler can’t take a day off that. ZING!!!
LNFAOOOO
I think she wound that hair a little tight, she can’t even close her mouth.
Pulling ones hair up like that is like a mini facelift, my wife, God rest in peace, used to do it all the time. She looked wonderful, but then again she was 82 years old.
Awesome Halloween costume!
One of these days Mum will let us have that indoor plumbing we’ve been promised…until then, it’s another chamber pot. *trying not to cry*
Here I am, heir to the throne, and I am stuck doing ‘The Antiques Roadshow’.
Her ass will leave the room approximately 20 seconds after she does.
she wears diapers
Don’t even bother, commenters. She is perfection.
Definitely
Perfection? Sorry, but no points are given for “looked amazing 20 years ago”, today is today…and today, almost any 18 year old girl on the street is sexually preferable to Selma.
She’s aging very well, but her sex appeal is well on the wane.
I think she hot, but then again I’m 84 years old.
That’s not a chin, it’s a prow.
Subliminal t-shirt: Drink enough Jack Daniels and this face won’t bother you as much.
Paps to SJP: “Give us your best Edvard Munch “Scream” face, cause we’re tired of making horse jokes,”
She’s gotta do something with that chin!!! Try sanding it down.
horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous SJP.
Go right to the source and ask the horse
She’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
She’s always on a steady course.
Talk to SJP.
People yakkity-yak the street and waste your time of day
But SJP will never speak unless she has something to say
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll talk ’til her voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking horse?
Well listen to this: “I’m SJP.”
Oh Wilbur!
Is that me that smells?
Where did her breasts go?
Harry gets to troll for strange and I’m stuck being Camilla’s tampon.
Oh dear, I believe I just shat myself.
“Hey, bitches, short on cash?”
Mark? What mark? Where the bloody hell are ya?
Falling down drunk again I see.
In a second her head will open and we’ll see it’s really Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Two weeks! Two weeks!
Uhh…what movie was this…”Put in Boobs?”
She’s a model? It looks like somebody used her face to beat a dingo to death.
Those first three words are exactly what I was thinking!
A few more years of sun and she’ll look like one of those apple dolls they sell at county fairs.
Awesome! Beat a dingo to death – fuck that’s good.
Well, at least her boobies are real.
“……the Royal Cumshot Catcher…., oh my….”
He looks as though he’s really looking forward to the pots of gold.
So a Klingon, a Wookie, and Lando Calrissian go to a dance competition…
LOL