“Holy Cow!! Kevin James has a big scar on his face.” – Joe Jonas
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring what is probably the most random selection ever included, which points out not only my age, but also my ability to spot daywalking vampires because, Jesus Christ, that guy has to be in his sixties, right? Anyway, we’ve also got this DWTS PA, who knows better than to put potato chips near Kirstie Alley within twenty minutes of her last feeding, as well as Sarah Jessica Parker‘s nanny, who something something HORSE JOKE!, turns out Jimmy Page was Pai Mei this whole time, and finally, you’ve got to admire Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s method approach to her character on The Client List.
What’s this about hand jobs, now? I was simply implying that she’s been giving out a bunch of free massages to close friends and family to fully immerse herself in such a complex and important role. For shame, you perverts,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
J.P. = God!
ZoSo
I’m totally down with the Fuck It I’m Wearing A Nightie trend.
I thought Ed died a few years ago?
Joker asks, “Where’s the Batman?”
Ewww. She was impregnated. Picture her giving her alien like birth to those poor kids.
I’ve always wondered if he plays Stairway to Heaven in guitar shops to piss off the staff.
Bea Arthur just realized she is dead and there won’t be a Golden Girls reunion.
I can see her cameldick
What an interesting way to smuggle old car headlights. You can tell from all that nervous sweating.
GUY ON THE LEFT: “HEY, That’s MISS Barney to you!”
^Shit, Fail. I forgot Barney is gay.
Fisting yourself, if not done properly, can lead to serious injury.
I believe the product slogan for those things is “For those who like it doggie-style without the carpet burn”.
shoes like that don’t make you look taller and slimmer, they make you look like an ASSHOLE!!!!
How did Salma know that my penis’s name was “Boom?”
Kathy’s thought balloon: “Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. Don’t look down at his penis. “
Mind if I sleep with our husband, Kathy?
That cigar faintly smells like a puerto rican maid, bill-clinton style
Hottest 46 year old in Hollywood
How is it possible that she’s 46??
TOOL.
She is a real housewife that one of her co-stars calls “Jesus Jugs” because she pretends to be religious. Jesus Jugs totally fits…
I’ll never understand the allegation that Jennifer Love Hewitt is unattractive. I would personally like Santa to bring me sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt for Christmas this year.
I’m caught in a tarp
Resident Hobo?
Huh, I’ve never seen The Joker without all his makeup on. Still pretty scary…
Walt turns in his grave cyrogenic chamber.
Oops, I guess some (all?) HTML doesn’t work here, as I tried to strike through “grave”…
Agent note: “Surrounding vehicles must at all times be 25% larger than actual in an effort to make Ms. Alley appear diminutive. As reference, it must appear as if she can place her entire head in the gas cap door or sublet trunk of said vehicles to small families.”
Who’s her dance partner on this show, Mayor McCheese?
Sporting the new Fall Fashion: John Hamm Dick
A new approach for Disney. After watching their princesses becoming whores, they decided to turn a whore into a princess.
“How many grams of fat does this bag of fat have?”
Yeah, we all did the same thing when we found out you fathered a child with Kimberly Stewart.
Looks like his hair transplant was performed with a nail gun.
I would still do him
Ummm, how do you get come stains out of taffeta?”
Ah, Jimmy Page, the cuddliest old nineteen-seventies-celebrity Satanist in the world…
Princess meth
That is the biggest nipple pasty I ever saw.
Ye’ll never get me lucky charms!
Still smoking hot.
Hair transplant or wig is looking weird
Nope, nothing fake here…