The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.10.12

October 10th, 2012 // 502 Comments

“Holy Cow!! Kevin James has a big scar on his face.” – Joe Jonas

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring what is probably the most random selection ever included, which points out not only my age, but also my ability to spot daywalking vampires because, Jesus Christ, that guy has to be in his sixties, right? Anyway, we’ve also got this DWTS PA, who knows better than to put potato chips near Kirstie Alley within twenty minutes of her last feeding, as well as Sarah Jessica Parker‘s nanny, who something something HORSE JOKE!, turns out Jimmy Page was Pai Mei this whole time, and finally, you’ve got to admire Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s method approach to her character on The Client List.

What’s this about hand jobs, now? I was simply implying that she’s been giving out a bunch of free massages to close friends and family to fully immerse herself in such a complex and important role. For shame, you perverts,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. MIckey Rourke
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Flock of Seagulls is getting back together ?

  2. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, I think I can manage to get around the massive pit sweat, but just barely

  3. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, we need a woman to chime in here.

    What the hell are those circle things?

    • JennywithaY

      Nipples the size of dinner plates?

    • Jw

      I think they are stickers which you put on when you;re not wearing a bra so no one see’s your nipples. Either that or a really unflattering padding in her top. Not sure (and I’m a woman).

      • KC

        No, JW, pasties are small, about half that diameter. Besides they clearly aren’t working. They also have these sticky things that you can wear that are supposed to act as a bra, but these are too small.

        Maybe she get another boob job and its some weird bandage to keep the stitches from getting irritated? (I’ve never had plastic surgery so I have NO idea what the protocol is.) My next guess is it’s really cheap bra padding and she’s too stupid to realize how obvious it is.

  4. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Hulk Hogan Today Show
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    How would you like to have to get up every day and put that outfit on? Forever.

  5. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    thanks for that zoom….

    You realize a woman as vane as this bitch is probably going to kill herself and her children, don’t you?

  6. Alessandra Ambrosio Legs Short Dress Bra
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me she’s going to eat a cheeseburger and wash a car to a rock anthem.

  7. Arnold Schwarzenegger Cigar Belt Buckle
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    what a fucking blowhard.

  8. Milla Jovovich Bra See Through Shirt No Make Up
    Anastasia Beaverhausen
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa!

  9. MIckey Rourke
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like John Sununu got a mohawk there in the background.

  10. Holly Madison Cleavage Princess Aurora Costume Disneyland
    Commented on this photo:

    Sleeping Cootie.

  11. Benicio Del Toro Savages Premiere Sydney
    Troll's Nighmare
    Commented on this photo:

    Did I just pose for a picture with Travolta… and did he grab my ass?!

  12. Holly Madison Cleavage Princess Aurora Costume Disneyland
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody knocked up Princess Aurora.

  13. Fergie Cleavage Leather Pants
    Anastasia Beaverhausen
    Commented on this photo:

    No. Change that outfit.

  14. Salma Hayek Cleavage Here Comes The Boom Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If someone isn’t fucking this woman hard every night and making her cum at least 5 times, then there is no hope for this world.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      Oh. he makes her cum all the time. It’s called letting her spend hundreds of millions of dollars.

  15. Salma Hayek Cleavage Here Comes The Boom Premiere
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine how sad the giant was when he found they were on a normal size woman

  16. Jimmy Page White Hair Pony Tail Led Zeppelin Press Conference
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what he plays when he tries out new instruments at Guitar Center?

  17. Roland Gift Fine Young Cannibals
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Now he looks like the bell captain at the Excelsior in Vegas.

  18. Russell Brand Colorful Pants Tank Top Sweater Knit Hat
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Katy Perry thought this would make a good husband.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      To be fair, you could shake an entire gram of cocaine out of his beard at any hour of the day when she was making that decision.

      • In Katy’s defense, she has never seemed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer in the first place. Then add in the fact that she’s still quite young. Then there’s the curiosity factor of fucking a guy from a foreign country…Taking all factors into consideration, it’s pretty hard to blame her for making such a fucked up, totally shitheaded move.

        Hey, Katy. Get some self esteem, you dumb cunt!

  19. MIckey Rourke
    jorge
    Commented on this photo:

    is that a piss stain?

  20. Ed Asner Charicature
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Ed Asner is a bad mother fucker

  21. Roland Gift Fine Young Cannibals
    Commented on this photo:

    After extensive consultation with market analysts, the band is now just known as The Cannibals.

  22. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Hulk Hogan Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hate this idea that every time a celebrity fucks up in a personal way they’ve got to make the fucking talk show rounds to explain themselves. Has anyone heard of the concept of handling your personal problems privately? It’s all one big money making circle jerk.

    • assuming hes not bullshitting, I do feel a tiny bit bad for him. He was clearly set up by someone he trusted. That being said, you have to imagine someone has to be up to something when they are like “SURE, YOU CAN BANG MY RECENT EX-WIFE!!”

  23. Melanie Griffith Wrinkled Ankles Tank Top
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh…..well, ok…..hmm….uh, who knew?

  24. Kirstie Alley Eating Sandwich Chips DWTS
    jorge
    Commented on this photo:

    carb loading before the show

  25. Milla Jovovich Bra See Through Shirt No Make Up
    Troll's Nighmare
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch out for radioactive zombie pumpkins!

  26. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    How big are her nipples?

  27. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    Brought It
    Commented on this photo:

    Damned if I know.

  28. Katie Holmes Butt Tight Pants Suri Cruise
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    They probably get tired of someone screaming every 5 minutes, “I did it all for you!”

  29. MIckey Rourke
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Sarah Palin shooting shit from her helicopter when you need it?

  30. Katie Holmes Butt Tight Pants Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear that kid has her bitch face down pat already and she’s not even 10 years old. And we’re going to be seeing a lot more of it in the future.

  31. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Hulk Hogan Today Show
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Marquee, Lasso, ah there it is, Halo of Contempt

  32. Fergie Cleavage Leather Pants
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    Kirstie Alley face, Steve-O la pus.

  33. Roland Gift Fine Young Cannibals
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Cool, he still gets recognized at the welfare office. Who knew you couldn’t make a living singing the same song over and over for 25 years?

  34. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Hulk Hogan Today Show
    patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I CAN put my Hulk Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling Connection Thermos in both of your lunchboxes… just, Be Cool!

  35. Arnold Schwarzenegger Cigar Belt Buckle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yah, Danny DeVito so sorry to hear about your divorce. Does that mean the family maid is available, or what?”

  36. MIckey Rourke
    Commented on this photo:

    The lead singer from Flock of Seagulls did not age well.

  37. Sarah Jessica Parker
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine that’s what the stroller January Jones pushes around looks like.

  38. Dania Ramirez Cleavage An Evening In Old Hollywood
    Troll's Nighmare
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t look so worried, honey. We love your tits. And they are not sliding out of your dress… fast enough.

  39. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cast Sweatpants
    Commented on this photo:

    You should have seen the guys penis…

  40. Melanie Griffith Wrinkled Ankles Tank Top
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hopefully that car is about to eat her.

  41. Sarah Jessica Parker
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Reese Witherspoon her nanny?

  42. Kirstie Alley Eating Sandwich Chips DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    Kirstie’s talon almost ripped her assistant’s tit off trying to get to that bag of potato chips.

  43. Sarah Jessica Parker
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Sarah is counting with her hoof. Good girl!

  44. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    Woah girl!

  45. Sarah Jessica Parker
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Jazz hands. About sixteen I’d say.

  46. Benicio Del Toro Savages Premiere Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here after getting a “massage” from John Travolta.

  47. Alexis Bellino Armpit Sweat
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If I had a rock band, our name would be “Tits and Sweaty Pits”. Or “Sweaty Pits and Tits”. No, you have to put the tits first. Then you have to decide who’s going to be Tits?

  48. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Hulk Hogan Today Show
    Rickets
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Our Lady of Guadalupe was such a lush.

  49. Khloe Kardashian Fat Double Chin
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosie O’Donnell must be the father.

  50. Khloe Kardashian Fat Double Chin
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t be the final 5…please don’t be the final 5…

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