“Holy Cow!! Kevin James has a big scar on his face.” – Joe Jonas
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring what is probably the most random selection ever included, which points out not only my age, but also my ability to spot daywalking vampires because, Jesus Christ, that guy has to be in his sixties, right? Anyway, we’ve also got this DWTS PA, who knows better than to put potato chips near Kirstie Alley within twenty minutes of her last feeding, as well as Sarah Jessica Parker‘s nanny, who something something HORSE JOKE!, turns out Jimmy Page was Pai Mei this whole time, and finally, you’ve got to admire Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s method approach to her character on The Client List.
What’s this about hand jobs, now? I was simply implying that she’s been giving out a bunch of free massages to close friends and family to fully immerse herself in such a complex and important role. For shame, you perverts,
- Photo Boy
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Flock of Seagulls is getting back together ?
Holy shit, I think I can manage to get around the massive pit sweat, but just barely
Seriously, we need a woman to chime in here.
What the hell are those circle things?
Nipples the size of dinner plates?
I think they are stickers which you put on when you;re not wearing a bra so no one see’s your nipples. Either that or a really unflattering padding in her top. Not sure (and I’m a woman).
No, JW, pasties are small, about half that diameter. Besides they clearly aren’t working. They also have these sticky things that you can wear that are supposed to act as a bra, but these are too small.
Maybe she get another boob job and its some weird bandage to keep the stitches from getting irritated? (I’ve never had plastic surgery so I have NO idea what the protocol is.) My next guess is it’s really cheap bra padding and she’s too stupid to realize how obvious it is.
How would you like to have to get up every day and put that outfit on? Forever.
thanks for that zoom….
You realize a woman as vane as this bitch is probably going to kill herself and her children, don’t you?
Please tell me she’s going to eat a cheeseburger and wash a car to a rock anthem.
Jimmy Page is ready to play.
what a fucking blowhard.
Whoa!
Looks like John Sununu got a mohawk there in the background.
NEW HAMPSHIRE
Sleeping Cootie.
Did I just pose for a picture with Travolta… and did he grab my ass?!
Somebody knocked up Princess Aurora.
No. Change that outfit.
If someone isn’t fucking this woman hard every night and making her cum at least 5 times, then there is no hope for this world.
Oh. he makes her cum all the time. It’s called letting her spend hundreds of millions of dollars.
Imagine how sad the giant was when he found they were on a normal size woman
I wonder what he plays when he tries out new instruments at Guitar Center?
Now he looks like the bell captain at the Excelsior in Vegas.
Katy Perry thought this would make a good husband.
To be fair, you could shake an entire gram of cocaine out of his beard at any hour of the day when she was making that decision.
In Katy’s defense, she has never seemed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer in the first place. Then add in the fact that she’s still quite young. Then there’s the curiosity factor of fucking a guy from a foreign country…Taking all factors into consideration, it’s pretty hard to blame her for making such a fucked up, totally shitheaded move.
Hey, Katy. Get some self esteem, you dumb cunt!
is that a piss stain?
sorry – i need to clarify. is that a piss stain on that piss stain’s pants?
Well, insufficient shakes are bad enough, but it’s the handwashing that I’m worried about.
Ed Asner is a bad mother fucker
After extensive consultation with market analysts, the band is now just known as The Cannibals.
I really hate this idea that every time a celebrity fucks up in a personal way they’ve got to make the fucking talk show rounds to explain themselves. Has anyone heard of the concept of handling your personal problems privately? It’s all one big money making circle jerk.
assuming hes not bullshitting, I do feel a tiny bit bad for him. He was clearly set up by someone he trusted. That being said, you have to imagine someone has to be up to something when they are like “SURE, YOU CAN BANG MY RECENT EX-WIFE!!”
Huh…..well, ok…..hmm….uh, who knew?
carb loading before the show
Watch out for radioactive zombie pumpkins!
How big are her nipples?
Big enough that there are tea-saucers sewed into that top yet we can still make out the contours of her areolae.
Damned if I know.
They probably get tired of someone screaming every 5 minutes, “I did it all for you!”
She’s went through so many babysitters that way.
Where’s Sarah Palin shooting shit from her helicopter when you need it?
I swear that kid has her bitch face down pat already and she’s not even 10 years old. And we’re going to be seeing a lot more of it in the future.
Marquee, Lasso, ah there it is, Halo of Contempt
Kirstie Alley face, Steve-O la pus.
Cool, he still gets recognized at the welfare office. Who knew you couldn’t make a living singing the same song over and over for 25 years?
Yes, I CAN put my Hulk Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling Connection Thermos in both of your lunchboxes… just, Be Cool!
^ Damn, I fail for even knowing that show.
“Yah, Danny DeVito so sorry to hear about your divorce. Does that mean the family maid is available, or what?”
The lead singer from Flock of Seagulls did not age well.
I imagine that’s what the stroller January Jones pushes around looks like.
Don’t look so worried, honey. We love your tits. And they are not sliding out of your dress… fast enough.
You should have seen the guys penis…
Hopefully that car is about to eat her.
Is Reese Witherspoon her nanny?
Kirstie’s talon almost ripped her assistant’s tit off trying to get to that bag of potato chips.
Looks like Sarah is counting with her hoof. Good girl!
Woah girl!
Jazz hands. About sixteen I’d say.
Seen here after getting a “massage” from John Travolta.
If I had a rock band, our name would be “Tits and Sweaty Pits”. Or “Sweaty Pits and Tits”. No, you have to put the tits first. Then you have to decide who’s going to be Tits?
Tits n’ Pits
Stinky is band manager.
Don’t forget to introduce them to each other: Tits, pits. Pits, tits…
I didn’t know Our Lady of Guadalupe was such a lush.
Rosie O’Donnell must be the father.
Please don’t be the final 5…please don’t be the final 5…