Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which is surprisingly abundant despite every available paparazzi resource being called to Sundance for the impossible task of covering everybody Alexander Skarsgard is banging. “We’re gonna need more cameras, and like, a fuckload of midwives,” they could be heard yelling from the make-shift birthing tents that now outnumber the theaters there. The good news is we’ve still got Denzel Washington on El Hormiguero (Enough said.), Drew Lachey onstage for ‘The Package Tour,’ which if you wanted to calculate the average weight of the ticket holders would require a truck scale, and finally, Arnold Schwarzenegger sampling Ben & Jerry’s newest flavor, Mexican Maid In Manhattan™.
Calling it now, Alaska Thunderfuck in ’16, get on board people,
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Black dudes ARE afraid of ghosts!
Dr. Evil’s newest model of fembot is the most lifelike yet!
Pay attention, ladies. Fixate on boy bands too much and this is how you’ll end up. Fat.
So then I tell my boss, “you make the Big Macs! I’m going on tour!!!!……….(can I please have my job when I get back?)
“Well, I thought Amanda’s performance was very powerf- SKARSGARD!”
Even been so whacked out you snorted your own mustache off your face?
Ermahgerd! Dernzel Wershington!
Dr. Evil’s fourth-gen model fembot was truly more disturbing than arousing. Thank god for the German market.
MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE!!!!
So then I tell my boss, “you make the Big Macs! I’m going on tour!!!!……….(can I please have my job when I get back?)
Just out of shot, Lindsay Lohan.
Because Sarah Palin wasn’t reason enough to not take Alaska seriously.
Someone should tell her that you can cure ring-worms…
MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!!
Daddy Like!
Denzel! Do you think you could play a role OTHER than an angry black man?
Dr. Evil’s third-generation model was effective, but placing the balancing gyroscopes in the faux-mammaries destroyed dozens of t-shirts and caused the fembots to amble carelessly.
He just read Lindsay Lohan’s tweets.
I can still tell RuPaul is a man in this pic.
He still has some blow caught in his mustache.
Ew.
The mortician is supposed to sew the eyes and mouth shut along with the anus.
Lindsay Lohan wishes she looked this good.
Nothing wrong here that removing that dress won’t fix.
Lazy Philipps
A judge is set to hear the case against Mr. Manilow and his sexual assault on the “Manilow Way” sign.
I’m stunned it took that many tries for her soul to escape.
All Dr. Evil’s second-gen fembots had to be destroyed.
Piledriveher.
You use make-up? Get out!
Ellen refused to let scoliosis keep her from her dreams of doing soft-core gladiator porn.
Hey Clark, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.
You didn’t have to get me anything.
Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.
“Ok, seriously, I’m not answering any more questions about Evil Dead.”
And what happened, then? Well, in Cougar Town they say, Busy’s boobs & belly grew three sizes that day!
We are Venom
making the fact ugly chicks happy since… whenever people used to listen to that garbage.
High beam.
Crap dressed like a leopard.
where’s her little fat hair handler at? probably getting her diamond dog collar re-sized.
HAIRY
I think someone just used the Spanish word negro.
I still have a big time thing for her
that’s certainly her best angle.
Must be doing DNA swabs to see how many more maids he knocked up.
errr, yes please
That reminds me, need to buy some bagels.
Tiger Woods just rethought that whole proposal thing.
Whats with her clown feet?
The way she sees it they’re pointing straight ahead
Her legs have to end somewhere other than just stumps.
Can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff!
Get in my choppahs!
I’d like to buff the Duff!
The baby is all like “Whatcu lookin’ at G? Those there are all MINE!”