Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed of 2013, which I can promise you won’t be mean-spirited like last year. This time around I’m choosing uplifting images, like that lead shot up there. Those people aren’t even famous, but I don’t think that man’s inspirational act should go unnoticed. Complain if you must, but I just think it would be wrong to keep posting out-of-context shots like this chick eating ice cream in a monokini or Guy Fieri wearing exactly the kind of bathing suit you’d expect from him or a white, middle-aged rap/MMA enthusiast wearing socks and high-tops on the beach. Last year, I would have called these guys Sons Of Applebee’s, and I would have probably used this Leonardo DiCaprio picture to assume that as a result of his unlimited access to supermodel vagina, he’s now emotionally dulled to the point where murder is the only way he can achieve sexual release and the crowd of sycophants aboard his yacht will do nothing but help him dispose of this poor woman’s body. No more. From here on out it’s going to be cats falling out of baskets and giggling babies.
Totally new leaf, I promise,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I’d do him, just so I’d get a kick-ass breakfast in bed the next morning.
And while he’s banging you just remember the name of his GSN game show…”Minute to Win It.” Hardly worth the time it takes to drop trou, is it!?
Don’t look it straight in the eye.
Bitch, please! I can’t hold a baby AND wear absurdly inappropriate boating footwear!
In your face Charlie Murphy!
Her tits look like very painful mounds of playdough.
At what point will his body invert and his should blades pop out the front of his shirt?
Damm, still alive?
The ghost of David Carridine is back as Leonardo Dicaprio in the new millennium version of “Titanic auto-erotic asphyxiation.”
Penis Williams
Hope nobody just saw me eat that booger…
“Hey, check out this championship turd I just pushed out!”
great body.
“Man, those Peter North exercises actually work. Please, let me get that.”
She looks like a blonde Roseanne Roseannadanna here.
did she fogot her teeth in her hotel room?
That bikini is the face of Darth Elmo.
Gotta admit, sweet taint…
There are several ways that this can end well.
Don’t act that way. Whomever smelt it, dealt it.
Wha?
I’m good. Thanks.
Climbing up on Jonah Hill
Boy, those man-tits were a fright
Libido ebbing, I’ve got douche chills
Gut had me screaming into the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I had a choice
Stretch marks repulsed my every nerve
His sweat glistens, I’m less than moist
Fat rolls defy imagination
Would rather lick the floor at Penn Station
My self-esteem going doom doom doom
“Son,” I said “Fuck this shit,
I wonder if Chris Brown would take me home?”
“So nice to meet you. Now suck me off before I throttle you!”
“Come check out these great tits, Willl-Burrrr!”
“I want to go home. The toilets flush counter-clockwise here and my ass only shits clockwise.”
She looks pretty rugged, but I still love those big, round tits!
“RUN all you motherfuckers. We’re a bad-ass biker gang and we’re here to litter and run stop signs…”
“HOLY COW! Look what I found. I’m taking her home. ♫ ♪ Finder’s keepers — Loser’s weepers… ♫ ♪
“What do you mean, ‘why do I call it a love stone?’…it’s because it’s a FUCKING ROCK!”
I’m hoping he just hit on her and she told him to fuck off, because she is really hot and much better than he deserves.
THIS is why you shouldn’t mix milk and Coke.
Jeeezussss…Goddamn Tupperware titties and Ronald McDonald-orange hair. Hell yeah, I fuck her in an instant!
Rosie was going to buy a refitted whaling vessel. She changed her mind because everyone kept telling her that her piloting a whaling ship would be redundant.
“My dad says if I can learn to balance a beach ball on my nose he can get me a job at Marine World…”
Keep teasing those two production assistants like that and your ass is gonna get that much fuller…
“Let’s inspect those teeth now…”
“No, I’m NOT fucking you until it comes out!”
“Honey, rememeber the corn we had last night? check it out, I just shitfarted…”
“Spit in your eye for a dollar ?”
I love this photo.
If she wasn’t a celebrity before she is now.
I’ve never seen a unaboob before
There’s STILL not enough weight to balance out the boat…send more children!
Josie Iceberg.
The Russian Museum’s exhibit of Catherine The Great’s wedding pictures was a rousing success!
Why do these say, “C. Brown” ?
Well if no one else is going to call it, I guess I’ll take a shot at it:
Doggy Sideboob ?
Reverse Sideboob?
Take your pick
Bobby Roache apparently, whatever and whoever that is…
Please stop posting photos of this racist, obnoxious idiot.
Reminds me of a line from Titanic, “Goldberg right ahead!”
Some reason this went under the wrong photo.