The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 1.2.13

January 2nd, 2013 // 310 Comments

Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed of 2013, which I can promise you won’t be mean-spirited like last year. This time around I’m choosing uplifting images, like that lead shot up there. Those people aren’t even famous, but I don’t think that man’s inspirational act should go unnoticed. Complain if you must, but I just think it would be wrong to keep posting out-of-context shots like this chick eating ice cream in a monokini or Guy Fieri wearing exactly the kind of bathing suit you’d expect from him or a white, middle-aged rap/MMA enthusiast wearing socks and high-tops on the beach. Last year, I would have called these guys Sons Of Applebee’s, and I would have probably used this Leonardo DiCaprio picture to assume that as a result of his unlimited access to supermodel vagina, he’s now emotionally dulled to the point where murder is the only way he can achieve sexual release and the crowd of sycophants aboard his yacht will do nothing but help him dispose of this poor woman’s body. No more. From here on out it’s going to be cats falling out of baskets and giggling babies.

Totally new leaf, I promise,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    Commented on this photo:

    Practising for a trip to the Arctic?

  2. Jude Law Laughing Shirtless Bathing Suit
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Honk honk!

  3. Some Dude Staring Into Dolshe Gulsens Bikini Bottom
    Blah
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s making a tiny ponytail so he can pull it later.

  4. Pauly Shore Short Bathing Suit Jill Martin Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You wanna see the weeeeeeeeeasel?

  5. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I see 2013 is going equal opportunity for the handicapped swimsuit models out there. Nice.

  6. Candice Swanepoel Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Scoliosis is a mother fucker!

  7. Naomi Watts Nipple Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t she attractive like just two years ago?

  8. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a fuck given by her.

    I respect that.

  9. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Ducklips Pure Nightclub New Years Eve Party
    Scrap
    Commented on this photo:

    Her right arm says “Come Hither” Her left arm says “I’ll have the sweet and sour pork on white rice to go”.

  10. Rosie O'Donnell Speed Boat
    Commented on this photo:

    Showing the kids how to find tuna.

  11. Rosie O'Donnell Speed Boat
    Commented on this photo:

    The name of that boat?

    “Clam Chaser”

  12. Guy Fieri Gut Shirtless Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    He just thoguht up his new menu item. He will call it the Shart-Shake, and it will be chocolate.

  13. John Mayer Santa Hat Katy Perry Santa Barbara Childrens Hospital
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought they were supposed to keep diseases out of the hospital.

  14. Penny Marshall Gold Shoes Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just holding a menu and yelling out her food order to random strangers.

  15. Larry King Yelling Leather Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the over under on when the top of his head actually sits lower than his shoulders?

  16. Jodie Marsh Cleavage Horse Twitter
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Tori Spelling suddenly more relevant?

  17. Frank Burns

    Please tell me you aren’t going to let this video of G. Paltrow dancing on stage whilst Jay-Z cements the loss of his ‘street cred’.

    http://youtu.be/7jjn_9IBCI0

  18. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    At least the “modesty panel” will protect her navel from falling nuts.

  19. Larry King Yelling Leather Jacket
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s more machine now than man. HIs mind is twisted and evil.

  20. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    BWMistrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t explain the head but from the neck down that’s John Belushi

  21. Mariah Carey Heels Nick Cannon Marina
    bearandbu
    Commented on this photo:

    Two fucking morons…walking on a dock in heels and untied shoes. Fucking grow up…you’re parents now.

  22. Nicole Minetti Butt Bikini
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Her top lip doubles as a flotation device. In the event of a water landing, that lip could save your life.

  23. Coco Cleavage LAX Nightclub New Years Eve Party
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Potatoes and silly-putty.

  24. Penny Marshall Gold Shoes Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Aughra lives. (anyone?)

  25. Candice Swanepoel Bikini Twitter
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    The girl loves herself for sure.

  26. Larry King Yelling Leather Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Woulda thought Gollum was more a “Members Only” guy.

  27. Leonardo DiCaprio Grabbing Womans Neck Yacht Australia
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you just say I was too old to wear my cap backwards?”

  28. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    skeezix
    Commented on this photo:

    Working it until there’s no longer a recognizable waist…

  29. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Donatella Versace find the elixir of youth?

  30. Guy Fieri Gut Shirtless Bathing Suit
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    so classy

  31. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice beak.

  32. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Body doesn’t match head. Incongruity is causing my brain to itch.

  33. Rumer Willis Jayson Blair
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom! Don’t jump!”

  34. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    mannequin hand.

  35. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman is gigantic! Someone call the authorities! or the Avengers!!!

  36. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Ducklips Pure Nightclub New Years Eve Party
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahahahahahahahaha

  37. Mariah Carey Heels Nick Cannon Marina
    Mina
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahahahha they’re a mess

  38. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy hell this woman is gigantic!

  39. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    ^^ was meant for next picture. Still learning the ins and outs of a keyboard.

  40. Josie Goldberg Monokini Eating Ice Cream
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    For the love of god, help me roll it back into the water before it’s too late!!!

  41. Jonah Hill
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    DRIVER, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Get me to food, NOW!!

  42. Jonah Hill
    tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s the dingo that ate the baby.

  43. Candice Swanepoel Bikini Twitter
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Being taken into custody by an invisible policeman.

  44. Penny Marshall Gold Shoes Laker Game
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    HR Puffinstuff

  45. Pauly Shore Short Bathing Suit Jill Martin Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing a shirt with a picture of yourself and your catch phrase on it.

    2 days in to 2013 and we already have the Douchenozzle of the Year award clinched.

    • …your catch phrase from 20 years ago when your mother could still pull enough strings to get you work.

      And to be fair, Pauly has been disqualified from consideration for “Douchenozzle of the Year” since 1989 when it was ruled he was a professional douche, and not eligible in amateur competitions.

  46. Silvia Abbate Bikini
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    My name is Bigalkie and I approve of this message.

  47. Mariah Carey Heels Nick Cannon Marina
    Commented on this photo:

    What a hard working wife! Carrying the diaper bag, purse, AND two kids.

  48. Candice Swanepoel Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks perfectly natural to me. Chicks just stand like that…right?

  49. Leonardo DiCaprio Grabbing Womans Neck Yacht Australia
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’d rather be swimming with Jude Law.

  50. Jodie Marsh Cleavage Horse Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Old Macdonald had a horse…and a cow

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