Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed of 2013, which I can promise you won’t be mean-spirited like last year. This time around I’m choosing uplifting images, like that lead shot up there. Those people aren’t even famous, but I don’t think that man’s inspirational act should go unnoticed. Complain if you must, but I just think it would be wrong to keep posting out-of-context shots like this chick eating ice cream in a monokini or Guy Fieri wearing exactly the kind of bathing suit you’d expect from him or a white, middle-aged rap/MMA enthusiast wearing socks and high-tops on the beach. Last year, I would have called these guys Sons Of Applebee’s, and I would have probably used this Leonardo DiCaprio picture to assume that as a result of his unlimited access to supermodel vagina, he’s now emotionally dulled to the point where murder is the only way he can achieve sexual release and the crowd of sycophants aboard his yacht will do nothing but help him dispose of this poor woman’s body. No more. From here on out it’s going to be cats falling out of baskets and giggling babies.
Totally new leaf, I promise,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Practising for a trip to the Arctic?
Honk honk!
He’s making a tiny ponytail so he can pull it later.
You wanna see the weeeeeeeeeasel?
I see 2013 is going equal opportunity for the handicapped swimsuit models out there. Nice.
Scoliosis is a mother fucker!
Wasn’t she attractive like just two years ago?
Time makes fools of us all
Not a fuck given by her.
I respect that.
True. I’m a little sad there isn’t a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew in her free hand.
I’d respect her non fuck giving more if she wasn’t wearing those earrings with her pool wear.
Her right arm says “Come Hither” Her left arm says “I’ll have the sweet and sour pork on white rice to go”.
Showing the kids how to find tuna.
The name of that boat?
“Clam Chaser”
He just thoguht up his new menu item. He will call it the Shart-Shake, and it will be chocolate.
I thought they were supposed to keep diseases out of the hospital.
She’s just holding a menu and yelling out her food order to random strangers.
What’s the over under on when the top of his head actually sits lower than his shoulders?
Tori Spelling suddenly more relevant?
Please tell me you aren’t going to let this video of G. Paltrow dancing on stage whilst Jay-Z cements the loss of his ‘street cred’.
http://youtu.be/7jjn_9IBCI0
At least the “modesty panel” will protect her navel from falling nuts.
He’s more machine now than man. HIs mind is twisted and evil.
I can’t explain the head but from the neck down that’s John Belushi
Two fucking morons…walking on a dock in heels and untied shoes. Fucking grow up…you’re parents now.
Her top lip doubles as a flotation device. In the event of a water landing, that lip could save your life.
Potatoes and silly-putty.
Aughra lives. (anyone?)
I’ll get my eye to you!
The girl loves herself for sure.
Can’t say as I blame her.
Woulda thought Gollum was more a “Members Only” guy.
“Did you just say I was too old to wear my cap backwards?”
Working it until there’s no longer a recognizable waist…
Did Donatella Versace find the elixir of youth?
so classy
Nice beak.
Body doesn’t match head. Incongruity is causing my brain to itch.
“Mom! Don’t jump!”
mannequin hand.
This woman is gigantic! Someone call the authorities! or the Avengers!!!
hahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahha they’re a mess
Holy hell this woman is gigantic!
^^ was meant for next picture. Still learning the ins and outs of a keyboard.
For the love of god, help me roll it back into the water before it’s too late!!!
DRIVER, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Get me to food, NOW!!
He’s the dingo that ate the baby.
Being taken into custody by an invisible policeman.
HR Puffinstuff
Wearing a shirt with a picture of yourself and your catch phrase on it.
2 days in to 2013 and we already have the Douchenozzle of the Year award clinched.
…your catch phrase from 20 years ago when your mother could still pull enough strings to get you work.
And to be fair, Pauly has been disqualified from consideration for “Douchenozzle of the Year” since 1989 when it was ruled he was a professional douche, and not eligible in amateur competitions.
I wish I could like this 10 x, Mr. Smackup.
My name is Bigalkie and I approve of this message.
What a hard working wife! Carrying the diaper bag, purse, AND two kids.
Looks perfectly natural to me. Chicks just stand like that…right?
He looks like he’d rather be swimming with Jude Law.
Old Macdonald had a horse…and a cow