Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed of 2013, which I can promise you won’t be mean-spirited like last year. This time around I’m choosing uplifting images, like that lead shot up there. Those people aren’t even famous, but I don’t think that man’s inspirational act should go unnoticed. Complain if you must, but I just think it would be wrong to keep posting out-of-context shots like this chick eating ice cream in a monokini or Guy Fieri wearing exactly the kind of bathing suit you’d expect from him or a white, middle-aged rap/MMA enthusiast wearing socks and high-tops on the beach. Last year, I would have called these guys Sons Of Applebee’s, and I would have probably used this Leonardo DiCaprio picture to assume that as a result of his unlimited access to supermodel vagina, he’s now emotionally dulled to the point where murder is the only way he can achieve sexual release and the crowd of sycophants aboard his yacht will do nothing but help him dispose of this poor woman’s body. No more. From here on out it’s going to be cats falling out of baskets and giggling babies.
Totally new leaf, I promise,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
We’re going to need a bigger boat.
Yep, she didn’t hide Captain Winky back there, either. Thank you, Ace Ventura.
“Please not again…please not again…pleeease…all riiiiiight.”
“Would you like…..multiple STDs, my dear?”
Aaaand…thank you IE9 for being craptastic and posting my comment on the wrong picture.
…..ummm, are you really blaming that on IE? yeah, IE caused the tsunami too.
That horse has that “I’m gonna get laid!” look to him.
Doubt even he could put a dent in that thing…
that is a boat that has no chance of planing
That wouldn’t even look good on someone who wasn’t eating pieces of herself that fell off due to type II diabetes.
thank God you used Type II diabetes to insult her and not Type I. carry on!
Quick view of her twitter reveals the mystery man to be Bobby Roache https://twitter.com/bobbyroache
Takes guts to wear that thing…..or should I say “a gut”
It’s a custom jersey that says “Cobblepot” on the back.
“Do it! Call me g@y one more fucking time for shaving my body hair!”
“I had a burrito for lunch…”
“I know…”
Checking to see if it’s time to change her diaper.
“mmmm…..I just got an idea….”Seriously Spicy Seagull”…..BAM, DONE DEAL!!”
If anybody knew it was as easy as being a douchebag and deep drying stupid combinations of food, then we’d all be rich – but he did it first, so he wins. He isn’t even a trained chef, so again, any of us could have been this guy. Good for him, but I want shove his head into a bucket of Nair and burn his stupid sunglasses and Havana shirts.
“Listen, whatever your name is, I will literally choke you if you mention the word marriage… Now, BJ?”
“You want me to take you up front and do that “King of the world” thing from Titanic?…No.
Katy has that “I just caught you looking down her shirt at her tits right in front of me” look.
Not that I’ve ever gotten that or anything.
“Yeah… bend over you little twink.. yeah, give it to daddy…”
I got nothing
Wow, she’s going south fast!
“Nuh uhhhh this is MY rock….”
Nice. From the shoulders down.
Yeah, I’d tear it up…
I….I….I…..don’t know where to start……..
Where’s Ahab when you need him…
Sir, you are gonna have to pay for two seats on this shuttle.
Proof that a horse and a duck can get along.
Geordi LaForge engages in his latest holodeck fantasy.
Winner.
I’d hit it.
I can’t be the only one expecting that thing to become un-tucked…
When his mother told him his face would freeze like that, little Larry scoffed.
Well….that certainly took care of any boner issues from the last photo!! Thanks, guys!
I don’t even know who the fuck she is, why should we care who he is?
Wow, I’m really confused by this woman, her stomach and hips scream teenager, but her side profile shot makes her look like some haggard missing link…
This is exactly how pictured his life to turn out…
I must’ve missed this ep of Sex & The City.
Sex in the Stable.
What a different picture this would be if Rosie was positioned where the kids are.
The boat would’ve capsized already.
Perfection that can overcome even the duckiest of lips.
“…And so, the mighty whale took to hunt its arch-nemesis on his terms.”
Ryan: I feel dick is inside me everyday.
Interviewer: You mean Dick Clark?
Ryan: Okay…
“Oh, I put my cell number in each card in case there are hot moms.”
“Thar she blows! Erm, licks!”
Well this pic certainly took care of any boner issues from the last one. Thanks, guys!
Hipster Ring Wraith.
We shouldn’t assume that this is the woman Kobe got in trouble with in that Colorado hotel room. We shouldn’t even assume this is a woman.
Hes clearly checking if his penis has gone completly through and come out the top side.
“Hmm, these are just about my size. Can’t wait until she goes to sleep so I can try them on.”
Is Penny Marshall standing behind Gerard Depardieau?
You mean ‘standing in for’?
Now that’s funny. I don’t care who you are.
What the…is that a tail?