Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, brought to you by Shaq‘s new jewelery collection – For the lumbering hulk in your life who already has everything. Seriously, that bracelet is just an old Goodyear tire. Anyway, we’ve also got what Madonna would think she saw in the mirror if she actually had a reflection, Gerard Butler letting this girl know what it’s going to take for him to actually read that script (Hint: It’s port-a-potty fellatio), and finally, you’re move, Rumer Willis.
Because they both have barely acceptable cleavage and just awful, awful faces,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
We get it, Vampira, you’re white. Congratulations.
It could be lupus.
It’s not lupus… Maybe it’s megaboobaly?
It could be a sneeze. I hope it is.
Uhm photo shop? Where is the other half of her – I’m sorry the other 2/3 of her body?
Wow, that shit is like nothing I’ve seen before..I’m thankful he’s turned his attention to the world of fashion.
Is that 5 o’clock shadow we see?
But blood diamonds I’m 100% cool with.
Word!
I am pretty sure this is Samson.
I sure wouldn’t mind titty fucking a President’s daughter. For bragging rights, and , well, Jenna’s got nice cans and golden locks to shoot a little jizz on.
Does that dog come with extra gay?
Take your tits and GTFO!
Guys in back (from left to right):
“OhmigodIhavetohidethisboner”
“I could totally get her. Easy.”
“So, Lou, waddaya say? 9?10?”
“Solid 9, Rick”
“Will Cyrill like the patchoulie or cinnamon massage oil?”
You forgot this guy:
“Eh, dark roots and weird boots. 2 out of 10 at best. Would not bang.”
Her tattoos set her apart from the rest of skankdom.
I like that tattoo. It would save me the trouble of having to buy her a corsage.
I was certain that was Madonna’s kid…
Okay asshole, you want to make another joke about my light sabre? My light sabre is THIS FUCKING BIG!
Aren’t gay guys supposed to have nice hair?
Black is slimming. Or not.
“I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really-really want.”
And I would rather you wear fur. I believe we have reached an impasse.
I thought when women said “harness those puppies in” it was just a figure of speech…
Well, it’s pretty obvious which one is more fun
I bet the one on the right already has a special purse she’s saving, to keep her future husband’s balls in.
*watches the beginning of Piranha for the 22nd time*
Halloween 2012, dressed as David Hasselhoff’s cheeseburger.
somewhere in the year 2000 some kid is getting a boner fro this pic.
Cover charge at club – $25
Drink for stranger you met in bar – $90
Cab ride back to her place because her roomie is out of town -$15
That awkward moment after you cum on her face – priceless
Is she kissing Joanne Krupa?
(Please God let me talk like I don’t have a mouth full of marbles…)
The Jessica Biel Effect.
Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let…fifty cents.
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain’t got no cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of pushin’ on this whore
Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
for a dollar more
I’m a man of means by no means
King of the road.
Him: So you’re gonna be like, ‘IT’S TOO BIG!! IT’S TOO BIG!!’
Her: Uh-huh. Don’t think so.
I call her ‘Pocket Fuck’.
?
I don’t understand why I’m laughing.
The CPU is struggling to keep those huge glasses from falling off so there is little capacity left to create a proper smile. But Skynet is promising the next male terminator will come with significant upgrades.
‘Shit, now that guy is running away from me too!’
She looks like that beast from Hellboy
The Sara Jessica Parker is strong with this one.
still liking this
I’d rather smash a puppy than look at this shit.
She looks dirty in all the right ways
Nope. Just dirty.
Lose the wig, poser.
Britain’s best contribution for spanking material in a long, long time
Nice glasses. She must have two black guys.
hehehehe Nice one, cleverchops. :D
I read it as “black eyes” the first time and thought of Chris Brown.
“I want you to put a sign up over your closet that says, in big letters like this: DON’T WEAR WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY!”
Let me give you guys a tip. If you want to see who the biggest douchebags in Toronto are, look for a Benz like this, but in black. The driver will be balding, but will have his remaining hair long and slicked back, he’s wearing gold sunglasses and a big gold watch. He’s a dentist, but he tells people he’s an entrepreneur. Don’t laugh, there are at least a 10,000 guys like that in this city.
HEY! That’s my Dad you’re talking about!
Black Mic 101, in which instructor Kim starts ‘em off easy.
Far too much clothing.
“Love’s young nightmare , like “
Oh!
You know Tarantino just came in his pants.
Why? Why? WHY DELILAH?
haaaahahahahahah
nice…
I thought you cut the bitch.
When you look at that writing in the mirror it says ‘I’m a tool’.
Not “Boink a Downs”?
Haahahahahaha!
“Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”