Welcome to a very special Valentine’s Day Edition of The Crap We Missed that’s totally going to score you the beej that those gas station roses weren’t going to. Just Kidding! Relationships are awful prisons of doubt and remorse which no amount of candy or $8 cards with grade school poetry could ever fix. That said, this ridiculous holiday gives Fish and me a reason to finally use these ball gags to skip out early, so I’m all for it. I’m also all for a solid 4th day in a row of SI swimsuit models pimping their obsolete magazine, so enjoy Kate Upton, Katherine Webb, Nina Agdal, Natasha Barnhard, Hana Davis…trust me it keeps going.
Your daddies love you guys,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Definitely time to change her name to Blue.
Ohhhh lady!!!!!!
Please. Just give up. You are not hot or attractive anymore. Stop trying.
This man does no wrong.
Exactly.
It’s unpossible.
channeling Nina Hartley
Those fucking tits, man. Wow.
Not your standard airbrushed autotoned pop diva.
What paparazzi is wasting his time on this guy?
I have something strong and powerful for her.
Very nice.
I thought these guys would be more likely to go to a “Bottom-shop Bottom man” event.
Looks like she comes pre-lubed.
Might as well wear a flashing neon sign saying, “I’m gay!”
She looks like she keeps Valtrex in business all on her own.
Hello. hello.
I actually like her a lot. She’s cute.
If she would only get rid of the Popeye tats; She could be.
Yes I do like her, just lose all those Tats
I hate her tattoos. I think she does too.
All Disney Princesses are familiar with Mickey’s nuts.
He’s not nuts. He’s fuckin’ Goofy!
How long before we see her naked? Start the countdown!
From your mouth to God’s ears!
David Beckham, seen here blowing out his MCL, gets ready for another season being injured
The best she’s looked in a long time.
Yes, It look like the surgeries from the accident are easing up
Bane is gonna kill them later
Both her and Kristen Stewart seems to be allergic to smiling like a regular human being. Rupert definitely has a type.
*Drives up*
“Hey, you’re not one of those silly men that’s dressed like a woman, are you?’
“No, baby, I’m the real thing.”
*Peels away*
Looks like the line waiting in front of the abortion clinic after Mardi Gras.
Her last name is inviting.
Well, she’s expanding her type
Attention whore is an attention whore
I thought he was wearing a lace tank top.
You have my permission to hate
A sudden urge to go play basketball. Or go eat melons. Or just tittyfuck that lady.
#3
Flower-sprouting vagina is definitely something you put on your CV
Crap the designer got the wrong parts of the dress transparent
“Now if you’ll follow me, the buttfucking happens stage left”
“Heeeerrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s Jerry!”
I’d like to play with your drums too Bar
Photo by Louise DaGuerre
Where are the assassins when we need them?
More like The Great And Powerful Azz
More like ‘Banghard’, amirite guys?
Why just guys?
Sexist.
Is this from Tommy’s Vinegar and Water collection?
What Happens When You Put Danny DeVito’s Penguin in Bane’s Mask and other Batman mash-ups no one really asked for.
“Er, how old did you say your nanny is?”
From Hell’s Heart I spit my last breath at thee.
She makes Courtney Stodden look natural
He looks like he performed oral sex on someone.
(What’s a “subtle”?)
Is this dude for real?
Her hair is really frizzy.
Shit, does this mean I’m gay?
Wait, I have a vagina.
Great pic!
She seems really happy here. He must be hung like an elephant.
‘He watched in slow motion as the opponents knee began its violent ascent toward his golden balls…endorsement deals and having already seeded four children passed through his mind…it was an acceptable risk…nothing to do, but take it like a man.’